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04 Dec 2010, 08:07
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The following appeared as part of an article in a magazine devoted to regional life:
“Corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. Even in the recent recession, Helios’s unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. It is the industrial center of
the region, and historically it has provided more than its share of the region’s manufacturing jobs. In addition, Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
The argument concludes that, Helios should be the destination for corporations seeking new business opportunities or new locations to set up or expand their business, in times of recent recession. The reason being Helios’s unemployment rate is lower than the regional average and Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies. Though his claim may well have merit, the author presents a poorly reasoned argument, based on questionable premises and assumptions, and based solely on the evidence the author offers, we cannot accept his argument as valid.
The primary issue in the author’s reasoning lies in his unsupported premises. The author mentions that Helios’s unemployment rate is lower than the regional average, but other cities in that region could have unemployment rate which is even lower than that of Helios’s. Although Helios has provided more than its share of manufacturing jobs, it may not have provided sufficient jobs in other industries such as Agricultural sector, Automobile industries, etc.
In addition, the author has comfortably assumed a considerable amount of data. Corporations seeking new business opportunities or new location would have to consider many factors, such as availability of raw material, skilled labor, tax structure, infrastructure, etc. The Author’s premises, the basis of his conclusion, lack legitimate evidentiary support and render his argument unacceptable.
While the author does have several key issuesin his argument's premises and assumptions, he could improve his argument significantly. The author could strengthen his argument by providing additional premises to support his assumptions. He could provide statistical information comparing Helios with other cities in that region. The author could clarify other factors influencing the Corporations decisions to establish their business in new location.
In sum, if the author truly wishes to change his readers’ mind, he would have to largely restructure his argument, fix the flaws in his logic, clearly explicate his assumptions, and provide evidentiary support. Without these things his argument is likely to convince few people.
“Corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. Even in the recent recession, Helios’s unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. It is the industrial center of
the region, and historically it has provided more than its share of the region’s manufacturing jobs. In addition, Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
The argument concludes that, Helios should be the destination for corporations seeking new business opportunities or new locations to set up or expand their business, in times of recent recession. The reason being Helios’s unemployment rate is lower than the regional average and Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies. Though his claim may well have merit, the author presents a poorly reasoned argument, based on questionable premises and assumptions, and based solely on the evidence the author offers, we cannot accept his argument as valid.
The primary issue in the author’s reasoning lies in his unsupported premises. The author mentions that Helios’s unemployment rate is lower than the regional average, but other cities in that region could have unemployment rate which is even lower than that of Helios’s. Although Helios has provided more than its share of manufacturing jobs, it may not have provided sufficient jobs in other industries such as Agricultural sector, Automobile industries, etc.
In addition, the author has comfortably assumed a considerable amount of data. Corporations seeking new business opportunities or new location would have to consider many factors, such as availability of raw material, skilled labor, tax structure, infrastructure, etc. The Author’s premises, the basis of his conclusion, lack legitimate evidentiary support and render his argument unacceptable.
While the author does have several key issuesin his argument's premises and assumptions, he could improve his argument significantly. The author could strengthen his argument by providing additional premises to support his assumptions. He could provide statistical information comparing Helios with other cities in that region. The author could clarify other factors influencing the Corporations decisions to establish their business in new location.
In sum, if the author truly wishes to change his readers’ mind, he would have to largely restructure his argument, fix the flaws in his logic, clearly explicate his assumptions, and provide evidentiary support. Without these things his argument is likely to convince few people.
14 Dec 2010, 10:47
Kudos
Bookmarks
Hey nisha30:
Sorry that I didn't see this until just now - hopefully there's still time before you take your exam!
You've certainly mastered the structure of an Analysis of an Argument essay - your paragraphs are clear with transitions, you have a strong introduction and a strong conclusion paragraph, etc. On structure, this is strong...alone, the easy-to-read, clearly-reasoned structure probably guarantees something above a 3.
My biggest piece of constructive criticism is that you don't seem to go that far beyond the structure itself. For example, your second support paragraph:
The first and third sentences are generic, with no analysis that's specific to this particular argument. To the reader, it seems like you're just copying and pasting a template and filling in the middle sentence. And given that you haven't supplied all that much subject-specific information, the third sentence is unduly harsh...you're concluding something that you haven't gone all that far to prove, so actually your conclusion could be argued to be everything that you claim about his in that sentence!
I'd suggest taking an extra sentence per paragraph to further develop your criticism. In that paragraph, you could have a second sentence that offers a hypothetical:
"While it may be true that Helios has had some business advantages in the past, the author fails to provide evidence that these necessary assets for business development in the future are in place - it could just as likely be that Helios' low unemployment rate is evidence that its businesses are currently using the city's resources near or at capacity."
The next paragraph is similar - your first two sentences are purely generic and the next two only begin to tie to the argument as a whole.
Ultimately, to command anything higher than maybe a 4, you'll have to tie more of your essay specifically to the topic. It's clear that you've done well with the structure, but to have it pay off you'll need to bring in the subject matter or else it will look as though you're merely copying a template over.
Sorry that I didn't see this until just now - hopefully there's still time before you take your exam!
You've certainly mastered the structure of an Analysis of an Argument essay - your paragraphs are clear with transitions, you have a strong introduction and a strong conclusion paragraph, etc. On structure, this is strong...alone, the easy-to-read, clearly-reasoned structure probably guarantees something above a 3.
My biggest piece of constructive criticism is that you don't seem to go that far beyond the structure itself. For example, your second support paragraph:
Quote:
The first and third sentences are generic, with no analysis that's specific to this particular argument. To the reader, it seems like you're just copying and pasting a template and filling in the middle sentence. And given that you haven't supplied all that much subject-specific information, the third sentence is unduly harsh...you're concluding something that you haven't gone all that far to prove, so actually your conclusion could be argued to be everything that you claim about his in that sentence!
I'd suggest taking an extra sentence per paragraph to further develop your criticism. In that paragraph, you could have a second sentence that offers a hypothetical:
"While it may be true that Helios has had some business advantages in the past, the author fails to provide evidence that these necessary assets for business development in the future are in place - it could just as likely be that Helios' low unemployment rate is evidence that its businesses are currently using the city's resources near or at capacity."
The next paragraph is similar - your first two sentences are purely generic and the next two only begin to tie to the argument as a whole.
Ultimately, to command anything higher than maybe a 4, you'll have to tie more of your essay specifically to the topic. It's clear that you've done well with the structure, but to have it pay off you'll need to bring in the subject matter or else it will look as though you're merely copying a template over.
