Can you please evaluate my AWA trial?

Only few days left to my actual exam day. So I will be glad if you can review my essay.
Thanks a lot!
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The following paragraph recently appeared in an editorial printed in the opinion section of a local newspaper:
The recent surge in violence in the southern part of the city is a result of a shortage of police officers and an absence of leadership on the part of the city council. In order to rectify the burgeoning growth of crime that threatens the community, the city council must address this issue seriously. Instead of spending time on peripheral issues such as education quality, community vitality, and job opportunity, the city council must realize that the crime issue is serious and double the police force, even if this action requires budget cuts from other city programs.


The increase of the crime rates in the southern part of the particular city is attributed to a limitation in the number of policemen and lack of leadership on the part of the city council. Therefore, the author suggests that the amount of police officers must be doubled and that a larger part of budget must be allocated to security despite of a cut in peripheral issues. However, these straightforward suggestions seem to be not capable of solving the problem, since they are based on obviously weak assumptions.

Firstly, claiming that the doubled policemen crew will positively make affect on the crime rates in the city is unable to contact the real roots of the problem, due to the fact that it neglects all the other socialogical dimensions of the problem. This suggestion undefendably assumes the possibility of superficial prevention without the application of a multidimensional strategy. Moreover, 'doubling the size' of police force is based on no kind of verification. The author could converge to a persuation if related data regarding the frequency of crime that varies on the size of police force was given.

Moreover, it is claimed that it must unquestionably be dared to a tremendous budget cut on issues such as education quality, community vitality and job opportunity. This assertion does unacceptably not consider the leading factors that underlies the the actual reason of increasing crime rate. Such approach definitely have risks of converting the current situation to even a worse one, as some of these variables, that are to be associated to a financial cut, are actually likely to be main required focuses in the specific case. THe author needs to rely its suggestion on concrete scientific researches and articles to sentence on such a financial shrink.

In summary, the argument of the author is undeniably open to be undermined. Including such assertions and line of reasoning, the author is not capable of creating a strong base for fighting against such multidimensional and crucial problem.