Intern
Joined: 03 Sep 2014
Posts: 3
Given Kudos: 57
Location: United States
Concentration: Leadership, International Business
GMAT 1: 620 Q49 V25
GMAT 2: 660 Q49 V30
Could you please rate my AWA, I have finalized on this template
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31 Aug 2015, 14:07
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in the personal finance section of a popular magazine:
“The average price of an acre of land in the United States is now 50 times what it was in 1970, and nearly 200 times what it was in 1920. The nation’s population is projected to keep increasing, even as the amount of land remains constant. Therefore, people who are approaching retirement should invest heavily in real estate in order to ensure their financial security.”
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
YOUR RESPONSE:
The argument,that people who are approaching retirement should invest heavily in real estate for their financial security omits some important consideration that need to be addressed to get the holistic view of the situation under consideration.The argument fails to provide substantial evidence or sound reasoning to prove or even support the conclusion under consideration. The major flaws include unstated assumptions as well as improper reasoning to reach to a weak conclusion. The passage below aims to elaborate on the flaws as well as potential remidies to resolve them.
First, The argument assumes that if demand is increasing and supply is constant then the rate will increase. This is an unwarranted leap of faith which needs additional evidence in order to hold true. A poosible situation that contradicts the assumption could be that population of US that is growing is not interested in real estates and need not to invest in real estate. In this case the assumption that demand will increase does not hold correct and subsequently the real estate price will not increase. Hence, the conclusion is invalid and would have been strengthen if the author have provided any premise to indicate that the growin population is an urgent neeed of real estate and this causal relationship will further increase the prices.
Second, the argument claims that as the real estate proce increase in a span of 50-100 years then they would have a steady increase for a short span of time as well. This is again a weak and unsupported cliam as there can be a case when the real estate price remains steady for a period of 20-25 years due to market situations and then increase after a good no. of years are passed. If this is the case then the people who are retiring will not be able to have any benefit from the steady real estate price. The conclusion would have convinced the readers more strongly if the author have provided any justification for this reasoning that an increase in price for longer span indiucates an increase in price in shorter span as well.
Lastly, the argument relates financial security with high real estate prices. This is again too optimistic and retired people may have a need of medical insurance or any other thing more than the real estate and also investing in any other thing i.e. their children education or medical expense will give them more financial securuty in future than investing on real estate, whose benefit they may or may not get.
To remedy the aforementioned flaws, the argument need to convince readers on the point above and provide reasonable justifications for the same.In short, the argument fails to mention several factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated. Had the author include the remedies above , the conclusion would have been much more reasonable.