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evaluate my essay, plz

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Intern
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Joined: 19 Jul 2017
Posts: 8
evaluate my essay, plz  [#permalink]

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New post 15 Feb 2018, 04:40
Hello there,
I'd like to ask some here who knows their way around essay writing to take a look at mine. It's on Smartphones in the Classroom. I did my best to prove my point but still I am wondering whether i have missed something.

Smartphones are prohibiting growth in our society. Many educators are beginning to permit them in classrooms to aid in teaching. Smartphones should be banned on all educational campuses. People are becoming reliant on smartphones and distracted by them. In order to effectively teach students in classrooms we should not allow them to use smartphones to supplement teaching.


Smartphones are affecting how we do just about everything. Michael Saylor explains it well in his book Mobile Wave: How Mobile Intelligence Will Change Everything. He says, “This new capability will disrupt long standing behaviors and intuitions affecting consumers, businesses, governments, and the global economy” (11). We no longer use paper for information. We have constant and instant entertainment. We can pay for things instantly using our smartphones. We can interact with people across the world at anytime and anywhere. Most importantly in regards to this essay, it changes the way in which we learn. Does this change in how we learn benefit students in the classroom environment?


Some teachers like Karen Bromley argue that smartphones are beneficial to students learning. In an article she says... “I believe this kind of technology can provide motivation and scaffold comprehension so that students can read harder texts” (343). Although this may be true. The bad outweighs the good in this situation. Students may gain comprehension of tougher texts but it will be difficult to make sure all students are staying on track and avoiding distractions. This also provides an example of how students may become dependent on smartphones to gain better understanding on subjects. Prior to smartphones students had to gain information by reading textbooks and using critical thinking skills. This skill should still be used in classroom to assist learning.


Supporters of smartphones in the classroom often assume that smartphones will be beneficial to all students. But Denis Hlynka, a professor at a University feels otherwise. He teaches a Teachers and Technology basic course. He wrote an article entitled “Looking Ahead Looking Back”. This article focuses on attempting to breakdown various misconceptions about Technology in the classroom. One of his major “big ideas” or main points in this article is that “Technology is personal”. This means that we should not and do not want to all be using the same technology. He says, “Every technological artifact is simply a piece of the larger puzzle of learning. Things will click into place. They will be useful when the user needs them. I give you some of the pieces. You put them together” (58). In the classroom this means that not all students need to use technology to improve their learning. Every student has different ways of learning. By making students use technology in the classroom we will be limiting those students who do not learn well with it. This causes these students to fall behind and suffer in their learning.


We must also address that not all students or schools will be able to afford cell phones. This will again cause some students to fall behind because they can’t keep up with the students who do have cell phones. An article entitled Smartphones Do Not Benefit Classroom Learning speaks on this issue. They say, “The fact not every student owns a smartphone must also be addressed. Regardless of what the future holds, it's far too soon to be advocating widespread use of cellphones in the classroom” (Smartphones, par 7). It will be difficult to implement smartphone use in all classrooms because of the issue of paying for these devices.


Smartphones are great distractions. It will be very difficult to manage smartphone use for all students in each classroom. In the article mentioned above they stated this very well, they said... “Cellphones may be conduits for information, but they're also tools of mass distraction. Texting, tweeting, surfing and updating your online profile have nothing to do with learning and no place in the classroom” (Smartphones, par 8). Until we find a software or way to observe each students interactions on their smartphones, they will hurt more than help.


We must work towards the success of all students and smartphones would cause many students to fall behind. This will result in a downfall of test scores and grades if smartphone use becomes a commonplace in the classroom. Teachers are still very important to have in order to keep students focused and determined. Smartphones will never replace them. Smartphones may increase student and teacher interaction outside the classroom and could help with tougher literature but they also cause a major distraction and could result in many educational breaking points.

Actually I thought about getting more here or more here but still I thought I'd rather ask here. Thank you!
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Re: evaluate my essay, plz  [#permalink]

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New post 26 Feb 2018, 23:40
Hi glorius it was a nice essay on usability of smartphones in classroom, you focused on positives and negatives yes there should be some conditions for usage of smartphones in classroom's, however it depends on person to person and the type of smartphone of which the student use.

My suggestion is to enhance more about limitations.

Thank you.
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Re: evaluate my essay, plz &nbs [#permalink] 26 Feb 2018, 23:40
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evaluate my essay, plz

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