Alrighty!
Not a controversial post this time, rather a more beneficial one. This one will highlight two scenarios and then I would analyse both the stories and produce an output as to how exactly both the stories were communicated and what yields to a better application essay, even though both are not truly suggested for admissions into any school.
So, why waste your time reading these reject-able stories?
Have faith. Business Conquerer is posting it, afterall!
STORY 1As I grew up within a joint family, one of the key learning I had is to collaborate. Out of the many experiences, one key leadership strength that came out was mediating conflict between my cousins- a trait that has helped me in professional situations to manage multiple conflicts.
On multiple occassions, I found my twin cousins fighting over the TV remote as one wanted to watch soap operas and other wanted to watch action movies. I personally used to love action movies but as we all had to watch something that we all agreed to, I never put in a vote in favour. When the conflict inflated to an unbearable degree, I proposed a solution to deal with the situation rationally.
I put forth an argument that as we all have one TV yet want to watch our own programs, we should come to an agreement to stagger our times to watch TV. As the soap opera lasted for an hour, Cousin A gets the preference to pick the time first but will not oppose the additional time Cousin B gets in watching Action movie uninterrupted that would last for about 1.5 hours. And if there is a conflict between the timing of the movie and TV show, both will come to an agreement based on only one particular program and the other who loses to it will get an additional veto chip that will give the cousin a power to ask unilateral access when desired to restore the balance. There were also preferences given when something important is going to happen on soap opera or some really rare movie was to come online that day with both agreeing to honour the other's preference.
As both the cousins found the argument persuasive, they agreed to the compromise and the conflict that would waste our time was resolved. From experiences such as these, I learnt that people can agree to a situational win for both if everyone gets something that they can find middle grounds that will make everyone happy.
STORY 2With challenges that the global financial crisis of 2008 created, my entire life fell apart. The love of my life left me for a University and my family was caught up in a series of disease ridden conditions that require me to tend to them in the hospital. One of the key things that came out of this challenge was my perseverance.
As I was not even in the mental state to work, I actively engaged my company's employees to double the growth. I asked my supervisor in my primary job to let me lead the next project that increased the revenues substantially. I also was able to manage my time properly by proper scheduling so that I give proper time to my personal and professional life.
When I realised that my love for 10 years found another person, I stayed motivated and engaged myself in myriad of activities for my personal growth and development. I openly spoke about it to many of the people and learnt that speaking up can help you reduce the burden by sharing with others.
ANALYSIS OF THE STORIESThese two are both the stories from real life. I am not going to name whose stories these are- they are not mine. I have a very stoic nature so basically I don't qualify for the emotional show offs.
Now!
Before we start analysing- Just guess which story was well narrated with a proper mindset of making the other side empathize with your words and understand your motivations.
What is your guess?
Story 1??
Or
Story 2??
Alright, let's analyze and I will give you the answer.
Story 2 has a component of emotional abuse, does show persistence and has a ring of the dark side to itself- shows the struggle of a man to balance his life and manage both the personal shock and professional accomplishment.
Story 1 has a component of a problem solver who found middle ground between two of his cousins with divergent goals by bringing them together.
So, Story 2 wins in making the reader empathize?
Not quite!!!
Story 2 has too many components that show the struggle but fails to be coherent to engage the reader in understanding what exactly was that pain doing and how exactly was the pain overcome and how exactly are the accomplishments actually accomplishments.
Story 1 on the other hand, uses just one story and one accomplishment yet highlights important characteristics such as, problem solving, empathizing with the cousins, understanding their common goals out of the differences, persuasive nature, putting the foot down, intellectual horse power to avoid loopholes, honouring the preferences and collaboration.
Even after putting up so many accomplishments in Story 2, the story loses it's strength because it doesn't give the reader an incentive to engage with the communicator.
So, we have our answer?
Yes! Story 1 is the clear winner between the two.
But wait!!!!
PLOT TWIST.
You forgot to see the bigger picture here. Even though I warned you that both the stories are not proper for an application for some reason.
Both stories are way too personal and have to be engaging enough to highlight the major aspects of your leadership. Story 1 wins but compared to all the other B-school stories, falls victim of the classic- too personal yet less impactful experiences. Story shows traits but not impact. If the writer were to add the professional benefits of that personal story, the writer would have succeeded in highlighting an impact, while also highlighting an ability to draw analogy from simple situations into complex ones.
2 learnings from the post-
1. Look at the bigger picture
2. Less is more.
NikhilbbelPatron434Any thoughts?
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