Thanks in advance for evaluating my essay! I have a few questions as well -
- My essay is only 377 words - do you think I should try to hit a higher word count like 500 (or even set a minimum like 400)? I know we can't see the word count in the actual GMAT, but just trying to get a sense of what I should be aiming for during my prep.
- For the GMAT, is it ok to start sentences with "it" (in reference to things like the author, the argument, and the conclusion), or does the computer grader not consider "it" a proper/descriptive enough subject?
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The following appeared in a magazine article on trends and lifestyles.
"In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart's Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960's, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Café, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
My answer:The argument claims that people are less concerned now than a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Stated in this way, it fails to mention several key factors regarding this trend and relies on assumptions which if proven false, would undermine the examples that are provided as evidence of the trend. Because of these flaws, the argument is weak and unconvincing.
First, the argument readily assumes that Heart’s Delight’s decision to start selling fatty cheeses was driven by the consumers’ decreased concern for regulating their fatty cheese intake. This cannot be assumed; Heart’s Delight could be motivated by a number of alternative non-consumer driven factors, such as competitor grocery stores’ product selection or incentives from product suppliers, for selling the fatty cheeses. The argument could have been much clearer if it explicitly stated the reason why Heart’s Delight started selling fatty cheeses. The example comparing the two restaurants contains the same faulty logic. There could be a plethora of reasons that have nothing to do with the difference in their menu offerings, such as price and food quality, for why the beef restaurant is performing better than the vegetarian restaurant.
Secondly, the argument’s conclusion is entirely based on observations of two restaurant and one grocery store. Whether these establishments are representative of this large, likely national, consumer trend is highly questionable. The conclusion is a hasty generationalization based on few pieces of evidence. In addition, one is left without an adequate understanding of consumers’ true feelings about their regulation of red meat and fatty food intake. If the results of a relevant survey of a large sample of consumers who are diverse across multiple dimensions, such as age, weight, and region of residence, then the answer to the question of whether and why consumers are decreasing their regulation of red meat and fatty food consumption would be much more well-founded and convincing.
In summary, the argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and fails to inspire faith in its conclusion about decreased regulation. It could be considerably strengthened if the author mentioned evidence about specifically consumers’ behavior and sentiment. Without these improvements, the argument remains nothing but a hasty generalization reliant on weak and minimal evidence.