Is there some error in this sentence?

Question

Is there some error in this sentence?

I was reading a magazine and I came across this sentence. Since I am also preparing for GMAT, I wanted to check with experts whether or not this sentence has any errors?

Attachment:

EC.jpg [ 29.5 KiB | Viewed 1478 times ]

CAMANISHPARMAR · Answer

EMPOWERgmatRichC   GMATNinja   jennpt   EMPOWERgmatVerbal 
 mikemcgarry   GMATNinja Two

Is there some error in this sentence?

Looking forward to hear from the experts.

BrightOutlookJenn · Answer

Hi  CAMANISHPARMAR ,

Yes, from a GMAT perspective, the relative clause with "which" is a problem. GMAT always wants "which" to refer to the noun immediately before the comma.  (Note that this is not absolutely required in English in the rest of your life.)  
But here, it makes no sense to think that "pig populations" could do great damage to China's vast pork industry.

Do you know how GMAT would usually fix this problem?
( STOP:  See if you can think of your own answer before you read my note below.)

Very often, GMAT will solve this by switching the final clause to -ing. Remember, GMAT loves -ing clauses at the end of a sentence for describing the consequence or significance of the main clause. (We can also use it to describe the "how" of the main clause.)

So I would expect a fix like "doing great damage to China's vast pork industry" or even "seriously damaging China's vast pork industry." 
What's even better about my second option? The switch from "doing great damage" to "seriously damaging" saves a word, but it does it by letting the action live in the verb, rather than in the noun. GMAT loves to let the verb be the hero of the phrase - this usually creates a shorter, more action-oriented sentence.

Was this what you were thinking about,  CAMANISHPARMAR ?

Best, Jennifer

CAMANISHPARMAR · Answer

Thanks jennpt - As you rightly pointed out, the way it is written here, i.e. "comma which" refers back to & is modifying the noun phrase preceding the comma i.e. “pig populations” ... Therefore the meaning changes...it makes no sense to think this way - I completely agree. There is a general advice given to someone who wants to improve on the verbal section of the GMAT to read "The Economist" (and few others, like NY times, New Yorker etc). I have started reading it from past few days. When I read this sentence I felt I have found an error but wanted to seek an expert opinion. EC2.jpg Thanks for your input on how to fix this error. This was very useful, thanks again. I am completely satisfied with your explanation. Kudos to you for such a wonderful explanation.

BrightOutlookJenn · Answer

Hi  CAMANISHPARMAR

Aha - The Economist. You bring up an important point here. While I absolutely recommend reading The Economist,  do not use it as a reference for Sentence Correction . Published in London (with bureaus worldwide), The Economist uses a style of British English that is NOT a perfect match for the GMAT, which insists on American English. There aren't a lot of differences, but the correct use of "which" is one – and that's a meaningful difference on the GMAT.

The New York Times is a better match for GMAT style, although occasionally I'll find phrases there that wouldn't pass as our best answer choice on a GMAT question.

Why does everyone recommend The Economist? It's fantastic training for Reading Comprehension and Critical Reasoning, a great tool for expanding your vocabulary, and perfect for improving your "general culture," as my French friends would say. Indeed, regular reading of The Economist can improve your basic knowledge (and thus comfort level) with a wide variety of subjects AND with graduate-level writing style.

Is there some error in this sentence?

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