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# Is there some error in this sentence?

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Is there some error in this sentence?  [#permalink]

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18 Oct 2018, 08:31
Is there some error in this sentence?

I was reading a magazine and I came across this sentence. Since I am also preparing for GMAT, I wanted to check with experts whether or not this sentence has any errors?

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EC.jpg [ 29.5 KiB | Viewed 264 times ]

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Manish

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Re: Is there some error in this sentence?  [#permalink]

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20 Oct 2018, 05:32
EMPOWERgmatRichC GMATNinja jennpt EMPOWERgmatVerbal
mikemcgarry GMATNinjaTwo

Is there some error in this sentence?

Looking forward to hear from the experts.
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Manish

"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me"
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Re: Is there some error in this sentence?  [#permalink]

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20 Oct 2018, 08:49
1
Hi CAMANISHPARMAR,

Yes, from a GMAT perspective, the relative clause with "which" is a problem. GMAT always wants "which" to refer to the noun immediately before the comma. (Note that this is not absolutely required in English in the rest of your life.)
But here, it makes no sense to think that "pig populations" could do great damage to China's vast pork industry.

Do you know how GMAT would usually fix this problem?

Very often, GMAT will solve this by switching the final clause to -ing. Remember, GMAT loves -ing clauses at the end of a sentence for describing the consequence or significance of the main clause. (We can also use it to describe the "how" of the main clause.)

So I would expect a fix like "doing great damage to China's vast pork industry" or even "seriously damaging China's vast pork industry."
What's even better about my second option? The switch from "doing great damage" to "seriously damaging" saves a word, but it does it by letting the action live in the verb, rather than in the noun. GMAT loves to let the verb be the hero of the phrase - this usually creates a shorter, more action-oriented sentence.

Best, Jennifer
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Director
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Posts: 917
Re: Is there some error in this sentence?  [#permalink]

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20 Oct 2018, 09:37
jennpt wrote:
Yes, from a GMAT perspective, the relative clause with "which" is a problem. GMAT always wants "which" to refer to the noun immediately before the comma. (Note that this is not absolutely required in English in the rest of your life.)
But here, it makes no sense to think that "pig populations" could do great damage to China's vast pork industry.

Thanks jennpt - As you rightly pointed out, the way it is written here, i.e. "comma which" refers back to & is modifying the noun phrase preceding the comma i.e. “pig populations” ... Therefore the meaning changes...it makes no sense to think this way - I completely agree.

There is a general advice given to someone who wants to improve on the verbal section of the GMAT to read "The Economist" (and few others, like NY times, New Yorker etc). I have started reading it from past few days. When I read this sentence I felt I have found an error but wanted to seek an expert opinion.

Attachment:

EC2.jpg [ 271.82 KiB | Viewed 176 times ]

jennpt wrote:
Do you know how GMAT would usually fix this problem?

Very often, GMAT will solve this by switching the final clause to -ing. Remember, GMAT loves -ing clauses at the end of a sentence for describing the consequence or significance of the main clause. (We can also use it to describe the "how" of the main clause.)

So I would expect a fix like "doing great damage to China's vast pork industry" or even "seriously damaging China's vast pork industry."
What's even better about my second option? The switch from "doing great damage" to "seriously damaging" saves a word, but it does it by letting the action live in the verb, rather than in the noun. GMAT loves to let the verb be the hero of the phrase - this usually creates a shorter, more action-oriented sentence.

Best, Jennifer

Thanks for your input on how to fix this error. This was very useful, thanks again. I am completely satisfied with your explanation. Kudos to you for such a wonderful explanation.
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Manish

"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me"
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Joined: 29 Dec 2013
Posts: 74
GMAT 1: 770 Q48 V51
Re: Is there some error in this sentence?  [#permalink]

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20 Oct 2018, 10:01
1
Hi CAMANISHPARMAR

Aha - The Economist. You bring up an important point here. While I absolutely recommend reading The Economist, do not use it as a reference for Sentence Correction. Published in London (with bureaus worldwide), The Economist uses a style of British English that is NOT a perfect match for the GMAT, which insists on American English. There aren't a lot of differences, but the correct use of "which" is one – and that's a meaningful difference on the GMAT.

The New York Times is a better match for GMAT style, although occasionally I'll find phrases there that wouldn't pass as our best answer choice on a GMAT question.

Why does everyone recommend The Economist? It's fantastic training for Reading Comprehension and Critical Reasoning, a great tool for expanding your vocabulary, and perfect for improving your "general culture," as my French friends would say. Indeed, regular reading of The Economist can improve your basic knowledge (and thus comfort level) with a wide variety of subjects AND with graduate-level writing style.
_________________
Professional GMAT Coach with students on 6 continents

On Parental Leave from Oct 2019 - Mar 2020.

Principal of Bright Outlook Global Prep, helping candidates achieve their higher education goals. We offer classes and private consultation, online and in our Berlin base. Let's get to work!

Personal 99th percentile score (770), including V51. Based in Berlin and previously in Paris, ich spreche auch deutsch/je parle aussi français.
With six years' experience, I am expert in coaching non-native speakers to outstanding performance.
Re: Is there some error in this sentence?   [#permalink] 20 Oct 2018, 10:01
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# Is there some error in this sentence?

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