Miss me?

Thanks for the encouragement. My wife and I have had a lot of discussions about career and family and how to mix the two. I've found it's not always oil & water, but pretty darn close for the demanding professions like law, medicine, and some business careers.

One thing that we discussed and some people on here may be in the same place, is that it seemed like my wife and I were always waiting to "arrive" and get where we wanted to be. But we realized that the feeling of "I have arrived." is not necessarily an actual job, house, car, career, or whatever, but it's your perspective on your own life. It's easy for me to say "I'm not practicing law, and I'm not applying to a top 10 b-school. I'm not where i want to be, so I'm not happy." But I would totally be missing the bigger picture. Our jobs were not really meant to be the end, but more of a means to an end for us to live the life we want. There is nothing wrong with the job being what someone wants, but it's easy for those of us with families to not appreciate what we have and what will truly make us happy because we see those that rocket to the top of our company in a matter of years because they live, eat, breathe their jobs. Great for them, but are they able to find happiness in that? Some do, some don't realize that they aren't truly happy until it's far into their career and those feelings turn into regret and resentment. That's not what I want for myself. I think happiness can be a choice. Sometimes that choice takes consciously disregarding the crap that is thrown our way and looking to the positive things in our lives, but it can be a choice. I need to apprecaite it and enjoy it when I get home from work and my daughter runs to me saying "Daddy's Home! I missed you daddy!" as she gives me a huge bear hug. That's priceless, and I realized that as an i-banker (if those jobs will still exist) I would miss out on that. I'd be able to give my family other things, but my time wouldn't be one of the main things I could give them.

I've got 2 kids, may have more someday, but I'll be successful in my career, sacrifice some dinners with the family for my career, but for the most part, I have chosen to let my career/job be a means to the end, and my "end" is a stable family with a dad that's home more often than he would be if he had a job making twice as much. I choose to be the dad that buys his daughter a Grand Am and teachers her to drive rather than buy her a BMW and pay for driving lessons. I could regret the driving lessons part, but I don't think I'll ever regret choosing to be a big part of my family and not just the monthly infusion of family operation capital.

Will I be somewhat jealous when I see people on here get jobs making $150k a year? Heck yeah! But I also know what I'm walking away from, and what I'm walking towards.

**Steps down off soap box**

Thanks for listening. Feedback is always welcome.

I admire your passion for family. When I have a family, (first need a wife!) then I will definitely appreciate those things too. But I don't think that you should totally give up on your MBA dreams. Just because you don't go into banking or consulting does not mean you cannot make 150K or work normal hours and be home by 7 pm. An MBA is a once and a lifetime experience for learning and self-reflection. It may be surprising but not every job is that cutthroat! I never worked a job more than 40-45 hours a week (I am not an MBA (yet) but there are Top MBAs in my position in other depts). My superiors have been out the door by 6 and I am sure they make at least 150K. I mean you might not make that right out of school, but if you excel at what you do, then it is possible. Maybe I am just an idealist that thinks all situations can work out for the best.

I agree, I'm not going to give up on my MBA in general, but it will be different. I'll likely go to OU or Univ. of Colorado (thinking of moving to Denver where my wife has lots of family and we love the moutains and outdoors).

I'm also an attorney so making 6 figures is not something only an MBA can bring me. Another big factor was law school debt + b-school debt. OU is a good program, but it doesn't try to compete with the top schools. They do things on purpose that hurt them in some of the rated categories, such as keeping the class size to about 50 each year. Univ. of Colorado is also a good school. Maybe if I find some way to pay off my current law school loans I will go for a top school, but even if I got a need-based scholarship, the money I'd need for living expenses would still add a significant amount of debt.

I missed you just a little bit.

I am disappointed that you aren't trying for a top B-school. I know you could have done it, but at the same time I also understand your family concerns. Oh well, it's their loss.

I missed our debates. In the end, everyone has to take a long, hard look at their personal situation and what they want to get out of life. It's good that you took the time to do that rather than blindly following the "I need to get into an M7" mold. If you can't answer the question "Why do I need to get into an M7?", you're probably about to make a bad investment.

I agree. I did miss our debates. How are apps going for you terp06?

I do admit, I found myself wondering where you'd gone off to.

Sounds like you have a good path ahead of you.

Move to Denver!! I have no connections to it, but really love it.

We're talking about it and saving money for it and for me to take the Colorado bar exam. It will be about $1000 for the exam and a few flights out there during the process.

I'm going to try to be on more often, but it certainly won't be to the extent I was before. I think my average daily posts was somewhere between 13 & 14 per day!

JAllen good to see you back. If you ever apply to b-school I suggest you talk to the members of the Mormon groups at whatever schools you are looking at. It doesn't matter if you aren't mormon they probably can relate the most to you since most of my classmates with multiple kids already are Mormon. I know of a bunch of people with kids and some whose wives dont work at all....some with 2, 3, or even 4 kids. It can work if you really decide you want to do it and they definitely can tell you the pluses and minuses involved.

That's a great idea. There are quite a few Mormons here in the OKC area and many are friends of mine, and a former boss of mine is Mormon. Best case scenario, my wife's business starts to take off. She's had some success here lately and found a person that has done a lot of marketing for clothing companies such as hers that wants to work with her to get her going even bigger. I laughed and told her all of her income will go towards our debt and in a few years we can be debt free and do whatever we want. Early 30's isn't too old to go to b-school.

River - I take it you love Kellogg?

A little bit slower than I expected, but I hope to submit Chicago next week and Tuck in early November. I'm still planning my R2 strategy.

I have a bunch of classmates in their early 30s and up into their late 30s. I would say there as many over 30 as are under 25 at Kellogg. You just will have to choose where you apply and not try for places like HBS that dont really welcome old folks.

School is amazing so far. I was definitely right when I picked Kellogg as my top school. Classes are great and so are all my classmates, the only problem is there aren't enough hours in the day for everything I want to do.

welcome back jallen.

I must admit, the board went a bit quiet over the last month.

godo to see u have taken the reigns!

jallenmorris - howdy? good to see you back.

Your post was really touching. My husband and I don't have kids yet, but we were in that spot where I was deciding.. do I want to go back to school or do I want to have kids. It was a tough decision for me, so I completely understand how family brings an incredible element to career decisions. But it sounds like you came to an understanding with your wife and a comfortable one at that which is what matters the most. Nothing means more than family. Glad to see you back!

Missed your posts on arguments and good non-GMAT posts as well. Betcha, you are making a good choice if thats what your heart says so...Nothing beats that
Besides, you can still apply to B-school in your early 30s if you ever decide to change your mind later.... However, I am one of the folks who really wanted to see you apply for '09 with all the effort you have put in your prep and helping others in this community...

The number of replies you get for your post is a good indicator of how many ppl missed your posts welcome back jallen.

a late welcome back jallen. been MIA myself for a while too, 3 finals and 2 projects this week.

Don't worry about being over 30. We started a "wisdom club" here at Haas for those of us over 30, and so far 30 people joined already out of 240.

If you ever consider the West Coast, let me know.