AWA Score: 5 out of 6!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 3/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
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V279999
Hello all,
I have recently started my preparation for GMAT and it would be of great help if you grade my essay and give feedback on the same.
Argument:-
The following appeared in the letters-to-the-editor section of a local newspaper:
“Muscle Monthly, a fitness magazine that regularly features pictures of bodybuilders using state-of-the-art exercise machines, frequently sells out, according to the owner of Skyview Newsstand. To help maximize fitness levels in our town’s residents, we should, therefore, equip our new community fitness center with such machines.
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc
Essay:-
The argument states that Muscle Monthly, a fitness magazine is frequently sold out because of featuring the pictures of bodybuilders using state-of-the-art exercise machine. Stated in this way the argument fails to mention several factors which contribute in the sales of the fitness magazine. The conclusion relies on the facts which don’t have clear evidence.
Firstly, the author got confused between the cause and effect of the high sales of the magazine. There might be a possibility of people buying the magazine for the sake of it’s refined articles they publish rather than the pictures they feature. For example, The Economist magazine is one of the most famous and highly sold magazine for it’s quality content. Yes, the magazine might have a few appealing pictures but people often get a product based on its quality. So, I think it’s baseless to believe that people buy a magazine by looking at pictures.
Secondly, the author presents the information of the magazine sales only at a single newsstand. It is quite unconvincing to believe in the fact that just based on the information from a single newsstand we can’t conclude that Muscle Monthly magazine is frequently sold out at all other newsstands in the town. So based on this piece of information it would be insensible to equip community fitness center with state-of-the-art exercise machines. If the author had provided information of the magazine sales from other newsstands, the argument would have been strengthened.
Finally, even if we assume that Muscle Monthly magazine is the best selling fitness magazine in the town, there is no information of what percent of the towns residents would utilize the newly equipped community fitness center. Had they provided the percentage of the residents who utilize the community fitness center, the argument would have been strong.
The argument is logically flawed for the above mentioned reasons. It would be considerably strengthened if the author mentioned relevant facts. Without this, the argument have no legs to stand up on.