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09 Dec 2022, 06:39
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The following is an excerpt from a memo written by the head of a governmental department.
“Neither stronger ethics regulations nor stronger enforcement mechanisms are necessary to ensure ethical behavior by companies doing business with this department. We already have a code of ethics that companies doing business with this department are urged to abide by, and virtually all of these companies have agreed to follow it. We also know that the code is relevant to the current business environment because it was approved within the last year, and in direct response to specific violations committed by companies with which we were then working—not in abstract anticipation of potential violations, as so many such codes are.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.
The argument states that stronger regulations and enforcement is not needed to ensure that companies doing business with the department are following the departments code of ethics. To add to the initial case the author states that the code is relevant and recent in response to direct violations. There are several flaws in this argument that can undermine the validity of the conclusion such as the assumptions made by the author, outside factors that may affect the results of the conclusion and questionable expectation from companies. Hence, unless these points of weakness are addressed, this argument remains unsound.
The arguments baseline support relies on a number of assumptions. The author states that virtually all companies agreed to follow the code of ethics. Agreement to follow does not necessarily relate to action. It may be that the companies agreed to follow from a business perspective but do not actually plan on following the code. The author needs to investigate the true intention of these companies in order to substantiate this. In addition the use of the word virtually leaves room for some companies to have not agreed, these companies may have been those that violated the code in the past so unless it is otherwise clear that all companies will follow the code, reliance on this fact is weak.
In addition there may be outside factors that can impact the validity of the conclusion. The author states that amendments to the code are not needed as it was created within the year. However, as an example there may be an increasingly competitive business environment that an aging code of ethics could fail to consider. If competition is increasing in such a manner that companies feel the demand to resort to unethical conduct this may impact the viability of the code. New trends in the industry and expectation may also cause a need to have flexibility in changing the code of ethics with changing violation types. Especially impactful is the potential for certain companies to look for loopholes in the system for their benefit. The author needs to address this potential in order to fully substantiate their claim that the code will not need amendment.
Lastly, the author concludes that strong enforcement mechanisms are not needed. This is a vulnerable statement as the author is stating with confidence that the code will be followed without any penalty if not followed. Especially weak when considering that companies have not followed expectations in the past. The author would be able to address this point of weakness by investigating if the idea of a punishment will impact companies that have “agreed” to the code of ethics. Companies that may feel an impact from this will be more susceptible to following the code. This is a central factor as without knowledge of retribution companies may feel less inclined to adhere to department expectation.
In conclusion the above argument is ultimately weak and unconvincing. The argument however, has room for growth if the author is able to address the gaps in assumptions, outside forces with the ability to change the business, and the enforcement impact on the code of ethics. If this occurs the resulting argument will undoubtedly be strengthened.
“Neither stronger ethics regulations nor stronger enforcement mechanisms are necessary to ensure ethical behavior by companies doing business with this department. We already have a code of ethics that companies doing business with this department are urged to abide by, and virtually all of these companies have agreed to follow it. We also know that the code is relevant to the current business environment because it was approved within the last year, and in direct response to specific violations committed by companies with which we were then working—not in abstract anticipation of potential violations, as so many such codes are.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.
The argument states that stronger regulations and enforcement is not needed to ensure that companies doing business with the department are following the departments code of ethics. To add to the initial case the author states that the code is relevant and recent in response to direct violations. There are several flaws in this argument that can undermine the validity of the conclusion such as the assumptions made by the author, outside factors that may affect the results of the conclusion and questionable expectation from companies. Hence, unless these points of weakness are addressed, this argument remains unsound.
The arguments baseline support relies on a number of assumptions. The author states that virtually all companies agreed to follow the code of ethics. Agreement to follow does not necessarily relate to action. It may be that the companies agreed to follow from a business perspective but do not actually plan on following the code. The author needs to investigate the true intention of these companies in order to substantiate this. In addition the use of the word virtually leaves room for some companies to have not agreed, these companies may have been those that violated the code in the past so unless it is otherwise clear that all companies will follow the code, reliance on this fact is weak.
In addition there may be outside factors that can impact the validity of the conclusion. The author states that amendments to the code are not needed as it was created within the year. However, as an example there may be an increasingly competitive business environment that an aging code of ethics could fail to consider. If competition is increasing in such a manner that companies feel the demand to resort to unethical conduct this may impact the viability of the code. New trends in the industry and expectation may also cause a need to have flexibility in changing the code of ethics with changing violation types. Especially impactful is the potential for certain companies to look for loopholes in the system for their benefit. The author needs to address this potential in order to fully substantiate their claim that the code will not need amendment.
Lastly, the author concludes that strong enforcement mechanisms are not needed. This is a vulnerable statement as the author is stating with confidence that the code will be followed without any penalty if not followed. Especially weak when considering that companies have not followed expectations in the past. The author would be able to address this point of weakness by investigating if the idea of a punishment will impact companies that have “agreed” to the code of ethics. Companies that may feel an impact from this will be more susceptible to following the code. This is a central factor as without knowledge of retribution companies may feel less inclined to adhere to department expectation.
In conclusion the above argument is ultimately weak and unconvincing. The argument however, has room for growth if the author is able to address the gaps in assumptions, outside forces with the ability to change the business, and the enforcement impact on the code of ethics. If this occurs the resulting argument will undoubtedly be strengthened.
10 Dec 2022, 03:46
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AWA Score: 4.5 - 5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 3/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Coherence and connectivity: 3/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Good Luck
Varthika
12 Dec 2022, 16:56
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It's indeed a difficult topic as it emphasizes on assessment of qualitative parameters. While the lines of reasoning are correct in all three highlighted aspects, there is a need to ensure coherence by using key words such as firstly, secondly, consequently, in essence etc to maintain 'connectivity' in the Essay.
