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22 Feb 2022, 20:09
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Hi! I was wondering if you guys could help me evaluate this essay. Thanks a lot in advance!
Argument:
The following appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine:
"On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middleaged consumer."
Discuss how well reasoned ... etc.
Essay:
This passage contains various flaws in its argument. The conclusion is based on ambiguous information and on uncertain forecasts.
Firstly, the argument makes a noticeable mistake when evaluating expenditure insight from these demograpic groups. It assumes that the 39% of average retail expenditure from middle agers is more appealing to businesses than the youth´s 25%, but it doesn´t take into account the actual average expenditure. If younger people had a much higher retail spenditure than middle agers, the 25% they would spend in department stores could still be the greater amount. Thus, the argument fails to sustain its conclusion as it is based on doubtful insight. If it had provided the actual spending figures for both age groups, it would have been more convincing.
Secondly, there is no certainty these spending trends will remain unchanged in the years to come. Even if the amount of middle aged people increases in the following years, there could still be changes in consumption habits (promoted by the fast advancement of technology, for example) which might reduce this demographic´s spenditure in department stores. We, therefore, have no solid evidence to suggest a rise in department stores sales coming from this group will take place.
Also, the word “dramatically” used when referring to the forecasted increase in middle aged people´s numbers can be seen as rather vague. The argument does not provide clear information about this trend, which could make one doubtful about if this rise in numbers would really be as significant as it is being suggested. If this increased was not as big as the argument indicates, the conclusion would suffer from a lack of economical basis.
Taking all of these flaws into account, we can conclude that the argument fails in its objective of sustaining a solid and well-based conclusion.
Argument:
The following appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine:
"On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middleaged consumer."
Discuss how well reasoned ... etc.
Essay:
This passage contains various flaws in its argument. The conclusion is based on ambiguous information and on uncertain forecasts.
Firstly, the argument makes a noticeable mistake when evaluating expenditure insight from these demograpic groups. It assumes that the 39% of average retail expenditure from middle agers is more appealing to businesses than the youth´s 25%, but it doesn´t take into account the actual average expenditure. If younger people had a much higher retail spenditure than middle agers, the 25% they would spend in department stores could still be the greater amount. Thus, the argument fails to sustain its conclusion as it is based on doubtful insight. If it had provided the actual spending figures for both age groups, it would have been more convincing.
Secondly, there is no certainty these spending trends will remain unchanged in the years to come. Even if the amount of middle aged people increases in the following years, there could still be changes in consumption habits (promoted by the fast advancement of technology, for example) which might reduce this demographic´s spenditure in department stores. We, therefore, have no solid evidence to suggest a rise in department stores sales coming from this group will take place.
Also, the word “dramatically” used when referring to the forecasted increase in middle aged people´s numbers can be seen as rather vague. The argument does not provide clear information about this trend, which could make one doubtful about if this rise in numbers would really be as significant as it is being suggested. If this increased was not as big as the argument indicates, the conclusion would suffer from a lack of economical basis.
Taking all of these flaws into account, we can conclude that the argument fails in its objective of sustaining a solid and well-based conclusion.
22 Feb 2022, 22:04
Kudos
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Mario79
Hi! I was wondering if you guys could help me evaluate this essay. Thanks a lot in advance!
Argument:
The following appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine:
"On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middleaged consumer."
Discuss how well reasoned ... etc.
Essay:
This passage contains various flaws in its argument. The conclusion is based on ambiguous information and on uncertain forecasts.
Firstly, the argument makes a noticeable mistake when evaluating expenditure insight from these demograpic groups. It assumes that the 39% of average retail expenditure from middle agers is more appealing to businesses than the youth´s 25%, but it doesn´t take into account the actual average expenditure. If younger people had a much higher retail spenditure than middle agers, the 25% they would spend in department stores could still be the greater amount. Thus, the argument fails to sustain its conclusion as it is based on doubtful insight. If it had provided the actual spending figures for both age groups, it would have been more convincing.
Secondly, there is no certainty these spending trends will remain unchanged in the years to come. Even if the amount of middle aged people increases in the following years, there could still be changes in consumption habits (promoted by the fast advancement of technology, for example) which might reduce this demographic´s spenditure in department stores. We, therefore, have no solid evidence to suggest a rise in department stores sales coming from this group will take place.
Also, the word “dramatically” used when referring to the forecasted increase in middle aged people´s numbers can be seen as rather vague. The argument does not provide clear information about this trend, which could make one doubtful about if this rise in numbers would really be as significant as it is being suggested. If this increased was not as big as the argument indicates, the conclusion would suffer from a lack of economical basis.
Taking all of these flaws into account, we can conclude that the argument fails in its objective of sustaining a solid and well-based conclusion.
Argument:
The following appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine:
"On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middleaged consumer."
Discuss how well reasoned ... etc.
Essay:
This passage contains various flaws in its argument. The conclusion is based on ambiguous information and on uncertain forecasts.
Firstly, the argument makes a noticeable mistake when evaluating expenditure insight from these demograpic groups. It assumes that the 39% of average retail expenditure from middle agers is more appealing to businesses than the youth´s 25%, but it doesn´t take into account the actual average expenditure. If younger people had a much higher retail spenditure than middle agers, the 25% they would spend in department stores could still be the greater amount. Thus, the argument fails to sustain its conclusion as it is based on doubtful insight. If it had provided the actual spending figures for both age groups, it would have been more convincing.
Secondly, there is no certainty these spending trends will remain unchanged in the years to come. Even if the amount of middle aged people increases in the following years, there could still be changes in consumption habits (promoted by the fast advancement of technology, for example) which might reduce this demographic´s spenditure in department stores. We, therefore, have no solid evidence to suggest a rise in department stores sales coming from this group will take place.
Also, the word “dramatically” used when referring to the forecasted increase in middle aged people´s numbers can be seen as rather vague. The argument does not provide clear information about this trend, which could make one doubtful about if this rise in numbers would really be as significant as it is being suggested. If this increased was not as big as the argument indicates, the conclusion would suffer from a lack of economical basis.
Taking all of these flaws into account, we can conclude that the argument fails in its objective of sustaining a solid and well-based conclusion.
very nice analysis... need to improve on spelling mistakes.. keep last 5 minutes to proofread your essay
23 Feb 2022, 01:15
Kudos
Bookmarks
AWA Score: 5 out of 6
I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 3.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 3.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Good Luck
Mario79
Hi! I was wondering if you guys could help me evaluate this essay. Thanks a lot in advance!
Argument:
The following appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine:
"On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middleaged consumer."
Discuss how well reasoned ... etc.
Essay:
This passage contains various flaws in its argument. The conclusion is based on ambiguous information and on uncertain forecasts.
Firstly, the argument makes a noticeable mistake when evaluating expenditure insight from these demograpic groups. It assumes that the 39% of average retail expenditure from middle agers is more appealing to businesses than the youth´s 25%, but it doesn´t take into account the actual average expenditure. If younger people had a much higher retail spenditure than middle agers, the 25% they would spend in department stores could still be the greater amount. Thus, the argument fails to sustain its conclusion as it is based on doubtful insight. If it had provided the actual spending figures for both age groups, it would have been more convincing.
Secondly, there is no certainty these spending trends will remain unchanged in the years to come. Even if the amount of middle aged people increases in the following years, there could still be changes in consumption habits (promoted by the fast advancement of technology, for example) which might reduce this demographic´s spenditure in department stores. We, therefore, have no solid evidence to suggest a rise in department stores sales coming from this group will take place.
Also, the word “dramatically” used when referring to the forecasted increase in middle aged people´s numbers can be seen as rather vague. The argument does not provide clear information about this trend, which could make one doubtful about if this rise in numbers would really be as significant as it is being suggested. If this increased was not as big as the argument indicates, the conclusion would suffer from a lack of economical basis.
Taking all of these flaws into account, we can conclude that the argument fails in its objective of sustaining a solid and well-based conclusion.
Argument:
The following appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine:
"On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middleaged consumer."
Discuss how well reasoned ... etc.
Essay:
This passage contains various flaws in its argument. The conclusion is based on ambiguous information and on uncertain forecasts.
Firstly, the argument makes a noticeable mistake when evaluating expenditure insight from these demograpic groups. It assumes that the 39% of average retail expenditure from middle agers is more appealing to businesses than the youth´s 25%, but it doesn´t take into account the actual average expenditure. If younger people had a much higher retail spenditure than middle agers, the 25% they would spend in department stores could still be the greater amount. Thus, the argument fails to sustain its conclusion as it is based on doubtful insight. If it had provided the actual spending figures for both age groups, it would have been more convincing.
Secondly, there is no certainty these spending trends will remain unchanged in the years to come. Even if the amount of middle aged people increases in the following years, there could still be changes in consumption habits (promoted by the fast advancement of technology, for example) which might reduce this demographic´s spenditure in department stores. We, therefore, have no solid evidence to suggest a rise in department stores sales coming from this group will take place.
Also, the word “dramatically” used when referring to the forecasted increase in middle aged people´s numbers can be seen as rather vague. The argument does not provide clear information about this trend, which could make one doubtful about if this rise in numbers would really be as significant as it is being suggested. If this increased was not as big as the argument indicates, the conclusion would suffer from a lack of economical basis.
Taking all of these flaws into account, we can conclude that the argument fails in its objective of sustaining a solid and well-based conclusion.
