AWA Score: 5.5 - 6 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 5.5/6
The essay is well-structured and organized with clear transitions between the paragraphs. The ideas are logically connected and the flow is smooth. The essay uses appropriate connectors such as "however," "finally," and "in conclusion" to establish the relationship between the ideas. The only minor issue is that the first sentence of the second paragraph could have been better linked to the previous paragraph.
Word structure: 6/6
The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and lengths to convey its ideas effectively. The vocabulary is appropriate and the words are used accurately. There are no issues with the word choice or sentence structure.
Paragraph structure and formation: 6/6
The essay has a clear and coherent paragraph structure. Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, which is clearly stated in the topic sentence. The body of the paragraph supports the topic sentence with relevant examples and evidence. The paragraphs are well-organized and there is a clear transition between them.
Language and Grammar: 6/6
The essay uses appropriate grammar and sentence structure throughout. There are no spelling or punctuation errors, and the essay demonstrates a good command of English language. The language is clear, concise and appropriate for the purpose of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5.5/6
The essay uses appropriate vocabulary and expressions throughout. The writer has used words accurately and effectively to convey the intended meaning. The only minor issue is that some of the sentences could have been more concise and less wordy.
Overall, the essay is well-written and effectively evaluates the argument provided. The essay provides clear reasoning and evidence to support its claims, and the writing is clear, concise and well-organized. The essay demonstrates a good command of language and grammar, with a varied vocabulary and appropriate sentence structure.
jim441 wrote:
Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.
Essay:
The argument claims that the costs related to food procession of Olympic foods will go down soon and this decrease in costs will lead to maximation of the profits. The conclusion of the argument is based on the premise that with time the organisations become better at processing and thus the costs of processing decreases.The conclusion of the argument relies on the assumption for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, the argument readily assumes that the color processing industry is similar to the food processing industry and whatever is true for color processing industry is also true for food processing industry. However, it might not be the case. It is very likely that food processing industry has several different factors that can influence the optimisation of the processing costs. The argument has not mentioned any example of food industry where the costs of food processing have gone down with time.
Second, the arguemnt has not mentioned the specific timeframe that is required for the costs of processing to go down. The argument has cited that Olympic Foods will complete 25 years of operation very soon. However, it might not be the sufficent time for the Olympic Foods to minimise the costs. It is quite possible that the food processing industr taked many more years to reach the desired level of processing costs than other industries. In that case, Olympic foods will not be able to reach the minimum food processing costs before or on its 25th birthday.
Finally, the argument has cited an example of color film processing industry where the cost of 3 by 5 print has gone down. However, the example cited is not very clear. Argument has stated that earlier it used to take 50 cents for five day service, whereas in 1984, the cost of processing was 20 cents for one day. However, it is quite possible that in 1984, the timeframe for developing of 3 by 5 prints was one or more days. In case of three or more days of service, the cost of processing would be 60 cents or more. Hence, the given example is not really contributing in the conclusion of the argument.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed for above mentioned reasons and is thus unconvincing. Based upon the given premises, it can't be concluded that on or before its 25th birthday, Olympic Foods will reach the level of minimum costs of processing and maximum profits. Without any further knowledge and data, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open for debate.