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Please evaluate my essays

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Please evaluate my essays [#permalink]

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New post 05 Jan 2016, 04:14
Hi everybody.. I'm about to take the TOEFL and I need a score of 22 on the writing section. Can anybody score my essays?

INTEGRATED TASK

Reading
[Reveal] Spoiler:
Endotherms are animals such as modern birds and mammals that keep their body temperatures constant. For instance, humans are endotherms and maintain an internal temperature of 37°C, no matter whether the environment is warm or cold. Because dinosaurs were reptiles, and modern reptiles are not endotherms, it was long assumed that dinosaurs were not endotherms. However, dinosaurs differ in many ways from modem reptiles, and there is now considerable evidence that dinosaurs were, in fact, endotherms.

Polar dinosaurs

One reason for believing that dinosaurs were endotherms is that dinosaur fossils have been discovered in Polar Regions. Only animals that can maintain a temperature well above that of the surrounding environment could be active in such cold climates.

Leg position and movement

There is a connection between endothermy and the position and movement of the legs. The physiology of endothermy allows sustained physical activity, such as running. But running is efficient only if an animal's legs are positioned underneath its body, not at the body's side, as they are for crocodiles and many lizards. The legs of all modern endotherms are underneath the body, and so were the legs of dinosaurs. This strongly suggests that dinosaurs were endotherms.

Haversian canals

There is also a connection between endothermy and bone structure. The bones of endotherms usually include structures called Haversian canals. These canals house nerves and blood vessels that allow the living animal to grow quickly, and rapid body growth is in fact a characteristic of endothermy. The presence of Haversian canals in bone is a strong indicator that the animal is an endotherm, and fossilized bones of dinosaurs are usually dense with Haversian canals.


Listening:
[Reveal] Spoiler:
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Essay:

In the lecture it was said, on the contrary of the reading passage, that dinosaurs could have been not Endotherms. There are some key points to proof that dinosaurs were endotherms, but none of those really holds.

First at the age of dinosaurs the temperature at the poles was higher than now, hence they could have found a warm climate. Moreover they could used to migrate in the winter season towards warmer places.

Second, underneath legs could had the purpose of sustaining more weight. In fact, dinosaurs were very massive and heavy rather than fast.

Finally, the bone structure of dinosaurs show a floating growth speed, which is tipical of not endotherms animals. In fact not endotherms' growth rate change according to the temperature of the environment.

Concluding, the key point presented in the reading are not affordable, thus we can think that dinosaurs were not endotherms like modern reptiles.


INDEPENDENT TASK

Title: In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today

The statement claims that in twenty years the number of cars in use will be fewer than today. In my opinion it's hard to believe that the number of cars in use will be decreasing over the next few decades, mainly because there aren't any transport alternative. Moreover there are some point to explain why cars number will continue to increase over the next years.

First of all, using a car you travel wherever and whenever you want, without relying on public transports. In fact you have the freedom to choose when and where you start your travel, so you are not constrained to bus/train scheduled travels. Moreover with a car you can get everywhere, while public transports can get you only on main places.

Second, nowadays first electric powered cars are available on the market. Electric cars do not use fossil based fuels, such as gasoline, lpg or diesel, so they are eco-friendly. In fact eletricity doesn't not contribute to greenhouse effect, like other fuels. Moreover you can charge your car using your own photovoltaic panels, making travelling really cheap.

Finally, some manifactures are developing self-drivven cars, which are capable to drive without an human driver. If the human is not suppose to drive, the travel is safer and more confortable. Another advantage of self-driving cars is that computer does not violate speed limits and other laws.

In conclusion, there isn't a transport system which is reliable and available like a car, nonetheless cars are becoming even better. Untile a new transport system will be invented, number of cars will be rising continuosly.


Thank you! :)

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Re: Please evaluate my essays [#permalink]

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New post 19 Sep 2017, 23:57
My recommendation: work on writing style and stronger arguments. I'd also recommend you to get help from mentioned guys.

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Re: Please evaluate my essays   [#permalink] 19 Sep 2017, 23:57
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