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Please evaluate my essay

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Joined: 18 Dec 2018
Posts: 1
Please evaluate my essay  [#permalink]

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New post 18 Dec 2018, 16:13
Hello everyone, please evaluate the following essay so that I can get a sense as to what is my writing level and estimate my score on the independent section.

Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should take out student loans to avoid working while studying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Taking a loan in order to pay university’s tuition is the most practical idea that students across the country ought to do. Taking a loan from a bank will help students focus on their studies, feel less pressure that usually comes with work, and plan how to pay it back.

First of all, all students must prioritize their education and focus on it as much as possible and by all means. This concentration on studying will help students get better grades and full engagement in the university in which they study and perhaps live. If they were working while studying at the same time, this would have a severe negative impact on their academic performance since they most likely would be distracted and disorganized. Working is helpful, indeed, not only it helps people get money to pay bills, but also social and practical skills. But in students case, they must consider their education and get the best out of it, for the coming years will be heavily dependent on the outcome of their performance now at the university level, which cannot be achieved in a positive way if students did not fully devote themselves to this specific phase in their lives.

Another reason for not working while studying is that jobs environments are highly demanding, and what I mean by that is that students cannot accommodate their education with it. One has to be fully focused on their work, adding value to the place where he or she works, otherwise they will get fired because HR sections nowadays are notoriously strict when it comes to dealing with unserious workers. One can easily imagine what would happen to a student if he or she tried to ask their supervisor to let them off work to attend a class at a university. Perhaps and most likely their request will be directly refused by the manager if he was nice enough to not fire them. This tension and unease in the work environment will present a great deal of pressure on students and they would be better off without it.

Another reason for taking a loan instead of working is that it helps students gain financial skills as to how pay back their loans. Students will be compelled to attend sessions related to how to use your profits in the best way possible. These sessions are usually provided by universities to their students and the latter would feel responsible and obligated to attend them. This will also help students learn more about different fields apart from what they are really majoring in. Law, Pharmacy, Computer science, etc. students will be able to gain some skills as to how to manage in a world that is primarily governed by cash.

In conclusion, it is way better for students to get a loan to pay their tuition instead of working while studying because working will put a great deal of distraction on them.
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Please evaluate my essay   [#permalink] 18 Dec 2018, 16:13
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