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Please rate my essay on the scale from 1 - 5 of TOEFL.

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Please rate my essay on the scale from 1 - 5 of TOEFL. [#permalink]

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New post 09 Oct 2017, 05:45
It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books.” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?

Books or experience is a category that has raised an assumption about the acquisition of experience not necessarily being from books. From my perspective, as everything depends on the type of profession a person pursues, neither domain should be valued more than the other.

On the one hand, books are ideal for academicians who pursue higher education or aim at working on abstract concepts in theory. For further explanation, books contain knowledge, information, and research conducted through centuries that provides mankind with the best access to an enormous source of intellectual knowledge. To illustrate, the availability of previous work and research from illustrious scientists, mathematicians, or physicists is essential for those whose professions belong to science because of its strong foundation and effective assistance in solving current scientific mysteries.Knowledge, especially from technically-related books, is thereby deemed as the world’s greatest legacy, which leads to inventions and discoveries that exceed human’s capabilities such as computers, robotics, or facts about the universe. In a word, books help mankind push back the boundaries of human knowledge, thus erasing all of the scientific or social misconceptions.

On the other hand, the suitability of real-life experience fits those whose occupation is to personally deal with people. The reason is that the interpersonal ability when working with people, not with abstract theories, can only improve by trials and errors. For example, being a capable teacher requires the accumulation of experience because of the diversity of students. Due to the differences in students’ ability to absorb knowledge, personalities, and attitudes, the adoption of various teaching methods is essential, which results from difficulties dealing with students. Unlike mathematics or physics, whose formulas’ application is possible within almost any problem, the diversity of real-life situations is such that regardless of the number of books read, personal experiences are limited to individuals only. Knowledge gained from experience, hence, should not be depreciated compared to that from books.

In conclusion, both methods of learning, whether it is from books or experience, benefit people. While books are essential for scientific-related fields, experience is suitable for interpersonal-related professions. As the importance of each type of learning depends on the purpose and the profession people pursue, neither should be considered as more valuable than the other.


Truly thanks for your valuable comments.
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Re: Please rate my essay on the scale from 1 - 5 of TOEFL. [#permalink]

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New post 09 Oct 2017, 16:27
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Pizza wrote:
It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books.” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?

Books or experience is a category that has raised an assumption about the acquisition of experience not necessarily being from books. From my perspective, as everything depends on the type of profession a person pursues, neither domain should be valued more than the other.

On the one hand, books are ideal for academicians who pursue higher education or aim at working on abstract concepts in theory. For further explanation, books contain knowledge, information, and research conducted through centuries that provides mankind with the best access to an enormous source of intellectual knowledge. To illustrate, the availability of previous work and research from illustrious scientists, mathematicians, or physicists is essential for those whose professions belong to science because of its strong foundation and effective assistance in solving current scientific mysteries.Knowledge, especially from technically-related books, is thereby deemed as the world’s greatest legacy, which leads to inventions and discoveries that exceed human’s capabilities such as computers, robotics, or facts about the universe. In a word, books help mankind push back the boundaries of human knowledge, thus erasing all of the scientific or social misconceptions.

On the other hand, the suitability of real-life experience fits those whose occupation is to personally deal with people. The reason is that the interpersonal ability when working with people, not with abstract theories, can only improve by trials and errors. For example, being a capable teacher requires the accumulation of experience because of the diversity of students. Due to the differences in students’ ability to absorb knowledge, personalities, and attitudes, the adoption of various teaching methods is essential, which results from difficulties dealing with students. Unlike mathematics or physics, whose formulas’ application is possible within almost any problem, the diversity of real-life situations is such that regardless of the number of books read, personal experiences are limited to individuals only. Knowledge gained from experience, hence, should not be depreciated compared to that from books.

In conclusion, both methods of learning, whether it is from books or experience, benefit people. While books are essential for scientific-related fields, experience is suitable for interpersonal-related professions. As the importance of each type of learning depends on the purpose and the profession people pursue, neither should be considered as more valuable than the other.


Truly thanks for your valuable comments.

Its a decent essay. You can easily expect a score of 3 out of 5. You should try using more keywords such as still, furthermore,etc. Also, the conclusion could have been better.
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Re: Please rate my essay on the scale from 1 - 5 of TOEFL. [#permalink]

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New post 09 Oct 2017, 19:04
Thank you. But if i wish to get around 4 or 5, what adjustments should i make to my essay?
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Re: Please rate my essay on the scale from 1 - 5 of TOEFL. [#permalink]

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New post 09 Oct 2017, 19:52
I have a TOEFL book which contains response to more than 500 TOEFL questions. I have it in my old laptop. I shall find that and upload it tomorrow.
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Re: Please rate my essay on the scale from 1 - 5 of TOEFL. [#permalink]

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New post 10 Oct 2017, 07:38
I really appreciate your help. Glad to know you.
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Re: Please rate my essay on the scale from 1 - 5 of TOEFL. [#permalink]

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New post 11 Oct 2017, 15:56
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I am unable to upload the PDF. Its 10 MB in size. Do you have access to Google drive or any other means?
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Re: Please rate my essay on the scale from 1 - 5 of TOEFL. [#permalink]

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New post 11 Oct 2017, 21:09
Yeah I have an account from Ggl drive but i cannot include it here because the forum does not allow. You can send me the link and I'll download it :D.

I kinda wonder if we can include personal examples in the essay? Even when those examples aren't real?
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Re: Please rate my essay on the scale from 1 - 5 of TOEFL. [#permalink]

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New post 11 Oct 2017, 22:58
I have uploaded it in google dropbox. Please find below the link to the thread:
https://gmatclub.com/forum/best-resourc ... 51270.html
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Re: Please rate my essay on the scale from 1 - 5 of TOEFL. [#permalink]

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New post 11 Oct 2017, 23:35
Hi Pizza!

Your essay looks good. I think you could improve your intro. Check out this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Y8cm8k2vzU
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Re: Please rate my essay on the scale from 1 - 5 of TOEFL.   [#permalink] 11 Oct 2017, 23:35
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