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# Please rate my AWA :)

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Intern
Joined: 21 Aug 2012
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Please rate my AWA :) [#permalink]

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03 Sep 2012, 12:01
Hey everyone,

I just wrote my first AWA part and would like to hear what you think about it:

ESSAY QUESTION:
The following memo was circulated by the management team of a retail company:

“We are very pleased to announce that the relocation of our inventory, which had been located in four different warehouses throughout the country, to a single new warehouse near Company headquarters in Boston. This consolidated location will cut the company’s expenses for warehouse rent in half. As a result we expect our monthly profitability to go up by this amount.”

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

YOUR RESPONSE:
The prsented argument is dealing with the warehouse costs of a single company and how this costs could be reduced. The company has accounced that it plans to reduce the warehouses from four to one and therefore the warehouse costs should drop by 50 percent. The conclusion is, that the profitability shall increase by the same amount that was saved in warehouse costs.

First of all, the reasoning is stated clearly but it is kept on a too simple level. If the conclusion shall be taken as granted, several assumptions and permises need to be considered. The following paragraphs analyzes those assumptions and finally indicates some recommendations.

An increase in profitability by the amount that equals the savings in warehouse reduction could only occur if the sales were kept on a constant level. Hence, one has to assume that the markets can be served properly without any restrictions by the reduced number of warehouses. Some customers might be far away from the single warehouse in Boston and therefore the sales could decline as a result of significant increased delivery times to the customer destinations. As one can see, the assumption was made without any evidence and should therefore be questioned by the reader of the news.

Furthermore, the costs for distribution were not mentioned my the management and this indicates the second assumption underlying the argumentation: By the reduction of the warehouse number the customer destinations may be farer or nearer away from the Boston center and the distribution cost are propable do differ from the earlier amount. No evidence is mentioned to support the underlying assumption, that these costs will not increase.

The management could bring in some more detailed information, for example the storage costs per unit (these costs may vary among different locations), the main destinations where the products are delivered and additionally, if the market penetration will or will not suffer from the decision. Moreover, a financial evidence could be useful to help the reader understand, why the profitability (calculated as EBIT/Turnover) should increase by exactly the same amount as the warehouse rent decreases.

In conclusion, the argument would be more strong if the some evidence would be mentioned to support the very simplistic reasoning.

###

Thank you very much =)

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Intern
Joined: 21 Aug 2012
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Re: Please rate my AWA :) [#permalink]

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05 Sep 2012, 08:59
Push Push Push I would appreciate your assistance

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Kaplan GMAT Instructor
Joined: 25 Aug 2009
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Location: Cambridge, MA
Re: Please rate my AWA :) [#permalink]

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05 Sep 2012, 16:25
Gmanski wrote:
Hey everyone,

I just wrote my first AWA part and would like to hear what you think about it:

ESSAY QUESTION:
The following memo was circulated by the management team of a retail company:

“We are very pleased to announce that the relocation of our inventory, which had been located in four different warehouses throughout the country, to a single new warehouse near Company headquarters in Boston. This consolidated location will cut the company’s expenses for warehouse rent in half. As a result we expect our monthly profitability to go up by this amount.”

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

YOUR RESPONSE:
The prsented argument is dealing with the warehouse costs of a single company and how this costs could be reduced. The company has accounced that it plans to reduce the warehouses from four to one and therefore the warehouse costs should drop by 50 percent. The conclusion is, that the profitability shall increase by the same amount that was saved in warehouse costs.

First of all, the reasoning is stated clearly but it is kept on a too simple level. If the conclusion shall be taken as granted, several assumptions and permises need to be considered. The following paragraphs analyzes those assumptions and finally indicates some recommendations.

An increase in profitability by the amount that equals the savings in warehouse reduction could only occur if the sales were kept on a constant level. Hence, one has to assume that the markets can be served properly without any restrictions by the reduced number of warehouses. Some customers might be far away from the single warehouse in Boston and therefore the sales could decline as a result of significant increased delivery times to the customer destinations. As one can see, the assumption was made without any evidence and should therefore be questioned by the reader of the news.

Furthermore, the costs for distribution were not mentioned my the management and this indicates the second assumption underlying the argumentation: By the reduction of the warehouse number the customer destinations may be farer or nearer away from the Boston center and the distribution cost are propable do differ from the earlier amount. No evidence is mentioned to support the underlying assumption, that these costs will not increase.

The management could bring in some more detailed information, for example the storage costs per unit (these costs may vary among different locations), the main destinations where the products are delivered and additionally, if the market penetration will or will not suffer from the decision. Moreover, a financial evidence could be useful to help the reader understand, why the profitability (calculated as EBIT/Turnover) should increase by exactly the same amount as the warehouse rent decreases.

In conclusion, the argument would be more strong if the some evidence would be mentioned to support the very simplistic reasoning.

###

Thank you very much =)
This is solid--a few typos keep you off a top score, but your reasoning is well-thought out and your examples are good. Unfortunately, some of your language was difficult to understand. You took a very, very simple idea (Unfortunately, the reasoning in the argument is simplistic, and therefore not convincing) and dolled it up in fancy language that you didn't quite know how to use properly; the result is a very hard-to-read couple of sentences. Don't be afraid to us simple language! It's much more important to convey your ideas than to "look smart" by writing "complicated."

Eli
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Eli Meyer
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Re: Please rate my AWA :) [#permalink]

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06 Sep 2012, 09:21
Thank you very much

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Re: Please rate my AWA :) [#permalink]

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07 Sep 2012, 03:18
Is it possible, that since the IR section was introduced, GMAT test takers are only required to solve "analyze an argument" tasks instead of "analyze an argument" or "analyze an issue" ?
All tests I take ask me for the analysis of an argument.

Whatever, here is my second trie - if somebody has 5 minutes of time and would give a comment, I would appreciate thank you

ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a market research report examining consumer perceptions of a chain of clothing stores:

"A recent survey commissioned by the market research department of XY Gen Stores indicated a high level of recognition among consumers of the brand and the nature of the apparel sold in XY Gen Stores. However, the survey also indicated that approximately 60% of those surveyed that recognized the name of XY Gen Stores had never shopped at one of the company's stores. Because of this result, XY Gen Stores executives should launch a significant rebranding and marketing campaign to change the company's image and thereby bring new consumers into the stores.

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

YOUR RESPONSE:
The argument presents the results of a market research report regarding customer recognition of XY Gen Stores and tries to find a solution for the high level - 60% - of customers, who recognize the stores, but have never been to one of those. The conclusion indicates the necessity of a rebranding and differentiating marketing campaign in order to attract new customers to the stores.

The logic of the argument seems to be flawed: many customers already know the stores very well and therefore, the branding and marketing of the company is not as bad as indicated above. Perhaps, the introduction of a new campaign would rise the level of consumers recognition but would not guarantee an increase in instore-visits. Accordingly, a better strategy would focus more on advertisements to attract customers to the stores. For example by special sales offers or exclusive events with special discounts that are only available at the stores.

Moreover, the argument is based on some assumptions that are not mentioned above. The market research report should have been done properly so that the results can be taken as a legitime source of data. Important to know would be if the basis of questioned people was taken properly, how the sample was chosen, if the sample was representative and if it was free from error and bias. As one can see, the underlying assumption is, that the people questioned were in the target focus of XY Gen Stores customers.

Furthermore, some more evidence would be great to add. This could include the number of sales via alternative distribution channels - e.g. the internet, retailers, wholesalers etc. And finally, the most important information is not mentioned by the report: WHY do people recognize the stores but never shop there? On the basis of these information, a more proper conclusion can be drawn by the management of XY Gen.

To sum up, the argument is based on the results of the research report and flaws therefore in some points of logic. By the provision of some more evidence with regard to other distribution channels (this aims the question WHY customers never shop in XY Gen Stores) the argument presented above could gain more potential to fully convince the reader.

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Re: Please rate my AWA :)   [#permalink] 07 Sep 2012, 03:18
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# Please rate my AWA :)

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