The following appeared in the editorial section of a corporate newsletter:
“The common notion that workers are generally apathetic about management issues is false, or at least outdated: a recently published survey indicates that 79 percent of the nearly 1,200 workers who responded to survey questionnaires expressed a high level of interest in the topics of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs.”The argument concludes that nowadays workers are interested in management issues where as they were not in the past. It is supported by a survey conducted recently that shows high percent of candidates shows high level interest in corporate issues of benefits programs. This conclusion, however, omits some important concerns that should be addressed to substantiate the argument.
First, it is not clear how the 1200 workers who responded to the survey are chosen. If the 1200 workers are chosen in a small range of groups or even in the same company, they share some similarity in the first place. Thus, their responses to the survey cannot be taken as the opinion of most workers. Not to even mention that whether 1200 samples are large enough to represent the whole group of workers.
Second, the article is saying that 79 percentage of the survey candidates express a high level of interest in the topics of corporate management issues of benefits programs. Obviously, management issues include many other aspects like marketing strategy, product development strategy, business growth plan, etc. Normally, most workers care about benefit programs very much as those programs are directly related to everyone in any corporates. Workers having high interest in benefits programs is normal and does not necessarily mean that they are also interested in other management issues.
In conclusion, this argument is not completely sound. The evidence in support of the conclusion does little to prove the conclusion since it does not address the assumptions I have raised. Ultimately, the argument would have been more convincing by making the procedure of sampling clear and stating what management issues the survey actually covers.
Q: Is it too short? Do I really have to write about 500 words to get a good score?