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15 Nov 2020, 14:18
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PROMPT:
The following appeared as part of an article in the education section of a Waymarsh city newspaper:
“Throughout the last two decades, those who earned graduate degrees found it very difficult to get jobs teaching their
academic specialties at the college level. Those with graduate degrees from Waymarsh University had an especially
hard time finding such jobs. But better times are coming in the next decade for all academic job seekers, including
those from Waymarsh. Demographic trends indicate that an increasing number of people will be reaching college age
over the next 10 years; consequently, we can expect that the job market will improve dramatically for people seeking
college-level teaching positions in their fields.”
ESSAY:
In an article in the education section of a Waymarsh city newspaper, the author emphasized the difficulty graduate students had in obtaining teaching opportunities in their academic specialties at the college level. However, they stated that an increasing number of people will be reaching college age over the next 10 years and that the job market is expected to improve dramatically for people seeking college level teaching positions in their fields. This argument is substantially flawed due to the vagueness of the evidence referenced as well as improper assumptions of causes and effects.
The evidence presented in this argument is exceptionally vague and does not reference any actual statistics. During the past two decades, it is implied that those who have earned graduate degrees had difficulty finding academic jobs, especially those that graduated from Waymarsh University, but we do not know how many graduates did not find jobs or why they were unable to find jobs. Additionally, the argument mentions “demographic trends” as an indicator of the number of people attending college but we do not know what this number is or what these trends are. There is not enough statistical data to support the author’s claims.
The argument also gives improper assumptions to the effects of this evidence. The argument states that better times are coming for academic job seekers due to the fact that there will be an increasing number of college aged people over the next 10 years, but can one assume that all of these people will go to college? Even if all of these people end up going to college, there is no way to determine whether these students will go to Waymarsh and if an increased student body will lead to an increase in faculty positions. A higher number of college aged people does not automatically imply that the college teaching job market will drastically improve.
If this argument was able to provide some numerical evidence about the graduates that have had trouble finding jobs as well as why they had trouble finding jobs it would be drastically improved. The argument could also benefit from concrete data about the demographic trends and their correlation to potential students in the Waymarch area and how these trends will affect the academic job market. But for the time being, this argument remains flawed.
The following appeared as part of an article in the education section of a Waymarsh city newspaper:
“Throughout the last two decades, those who earned graduate degrees found it very difficult to get jobs teaching their
academic specialties at the college level. Those with graduate degrees from Waymarsh University had an especially
hard time finding such jobs. But better times are coming in the next decade for all academic job seekers, including
those from Waymarsh. Demographic trends indicate that an increasing number of people will be reaching college age
over the next 10 years; consequently, we can expect that the job market will improve dramatically for people seeking
college-level teaching positions in their fields.”
ESSAY:
In an article in the education section of a Waymarsh city newspaper, the author emphasized the difficulty graduate students had in obtaining teaching opportunities in their academic specialties at the college level. However, they stated that an increasing number of people will be reaching college age over the next 10 years and that the job market is expected to improve dramatically for people seeking college level teaching positions in their fields. This argument is substantially flawed due to the vagueness of the evidence referenced as well as improper assumptions of causes and effects.
The evidence presented in this argument is exceptionally vague and does not reference any actual statistics. During the past two decades, it is implied that those who have earned graduate degrees had difficulty finding academic jobs, especially those that graduated from Waymarsh University, but we do not know how many graduates did not find jobs or why they were unable to find jobs. Additionally, the argument mentions “demographic trends” as an indicator of the number of people attending college but we do not know what this number is or what these trends are. There is not enough statistical data to support the author’s claims.
The argument also gives improper assumptions to the effects of this evidence. The argument states that better times are coming for academic job seekers due to the fact that there will be an increasing number of college aged people over the next 10 years, but can one assume that all of these people will go to college? Even if all of these people end up going to college, there is no way to determine whether these students will go to Waymarsh and if an increased student body will lead to an increase in faculty positions. A higher number of college aged people does not automatically imply that the college teaching job market will drastically improve.
If this argument was able to provide some numerical evidence about the graduates that have had trouble finding jobs as well as why they had trouble finding jobs it would be drastically improved. The argument could also benefit from concrete data about the demographic trends and their correlation to potential students in the Waymarch area and how these trends will affect the academic job market. But for the time being, this argument remains flawed.
17 Nov 2020, 22:04
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gpharing - Welcome to GMAT Club! I like the overall structure of the AWA attempt but see several grammar issues. I advise you to focus more on your writing abilities, and, more importantly, allocate 2-3 minutes at the end of the section, to proofread your writing; doing so will help eliminate a few obvious grammar issues. Please find below all grammar errors highlighted in your very first paragraph.
In an article in the education section of a Waymarsh city newspaper, the author emphasized the difficulty graduate students had in obtaining teaching opportunities in their academic specialties at the college level. However, they stated that an increasing number of people will be reaching college age over the next 10 years and that the job market is expected to improve dramatically for people seeking college level teaching positions in their fields. This argument is substantially flawed due to the vagueness of the evidence referenced as well as improper assumptions of causes and effects.
In an article in the education section of a Waymarsh city newspaper, the author emphasized the difficulty graduate students had in obtaining teaching opportunities in their academic specialties at the college level. However, they stated that an increasing number of people will be reaching college age over the next 10 years and that the job market is expected to improve dramatically for people seeking college level teaching positions in their fields. This argument is substantially flawed due to the vagueness of the evidence referenced as well as improper assumptions of causes and effects.
Moderator:
