Hello!

My aim is to get 27/30 at the TOEFL IBT's writing part. I go 20 at my last test.
I want improve my writing skills. Could you have a look at my essay and rate it on 5.

Thank you very much!


Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement
“A teacher’s ability to relate well with students is more important than excellent knowledge of the subject being taught”
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion

[310 words]

I disagree with the idea that it is more important for a teacher to have the ability to relate with his student than to have an excellent knowledge in his fields. In this essay several points will be developed to support my point of view.

Firstly, the main goal of a teacher is to educate the students with his knowledges in his fields. I already had an experience with a teacher who preferred to have a good relationship with his student than teach properly. When I was 14 years old I had a German teacher who every time wanted discuss with us about the weather, our lives, etc. As a result, I could have a correct score at my examination because I couldn’t learn correctly during his lessons.

Secondly, students come to the university with the aim to acquire new knowledges for their future career. Usually the university programs are very tough and we only have two weeks maximum to master a subject. If the teacher begins to speak and lose time with his student, as a result, the whole class will have bad score and may have to do a second time the programs.

Thirdly, teachers are responsible of the transmission of knowledge from a generation to another. Teachers already had an experience of getting advanced education from university. Teachers should not let that privilege become workless. In this one or two year program, teachers will certainly influence students in their lives. It is why in this short time teacher shouldn’t try to relate with students.

In conclusion, I think the most important quality for a teacher is to be an expert in this field in order to teach to his student the more accurate knowledge. Of course having a friendly atmosphere in the classroom is always benefited but it shouldn’t be the number one quality for a teacher.

That's OK, but you can improve more by practicing more.

The essay is ok but still, work more on it. Check for spelling and grammar mistakes.

The structure of your essay is good; however, I think there are a few minor errors in your essay. There are also parts where it is slightly unclear what you mean.



Hope it helps. Please forgive me any offense; I did not mean to.