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Please rate my essay

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Joined: 26 Apr 2017
Posts: 1
Please rate my essay  [#permalink]

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New post 13 Nov 2017, 18:17
“Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The school dropout rate declined immediately, and last year’s graduates have reported some impressive achievements in college. In future budgets the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum.” Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

In a newspaper editorial, an argument appeared advocating for the use of interactive computers based on the case of Nova High School. This argument is substantially flawed. The argument presents inconclusive information, offers dubious support for the allegations made and from this draws unreasonably conclusions.

The argument is based on a decline in the dropout rate, which it fails to properly measure and clarify if it’s a substantial one. It also cites impressive achievements in college from last year’s graduates, yet fails to identify these. A conclusion can’t be drawn whether these are objectively impressive.

The author does not mention on which academic subjects the interactive computers have been used and what’s the correlation between these subjects and the dropout rates in the school. The argument proceeds to demand the allocation of a greater portion of the budget to the purchase of more of the aforementioned, without stating how much of a decline could be expected from an increase on the number of available computers.

Lastly, it encourages all schools in the district to adopt interactive computers, assuming all of them have similar characteristics on their student population, and that they would be equally benefitted with this initiative.

This argument is not based on proper evidence, and fails to convey how much of a benefit could be expected from an increase in the use of interactive computers.
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Joined: 09 Aug 2017
Posts: 213
Re: Please rate my essay  [#permalink]

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New post 27 Nov 2017, 05:23
The arguments states that introduction of interactive computer instruction in curriculum helps the students to achieve impressive results. Therefore, arguments advocates to allocate the fund for interactive computer classes in all schools. The argument's claim is based on success of Nova's students achievements and decline in drop out students in last year. The arguments seems flawed and unreasoning as it lacks to factor in myriad causes to reach at conclusion.
First, arguments states that interactive classes were started two years back in three subjects only and student drop out rate went down immediately. This premise seems questionable as there is no evidence mentioned in argument, implying that students drop out rate is just because of interactive computer sessions. Neither it is mentioned that only those three subjects for which interactive session started were core subject to attract student.
Additionally,argument assumes that last year some students have achieved impressive results because of interactive classes. this reason seems quite hollow as arguments doesn't describe that interactive computer sessions was only way to achieve impressive results. The arguments remained failed to indicate that student didn't took help of other tools to score highest. Out of all students, only some students get most out of scheme. It might be possible that some students joined were already brilliant in studies and they joined after one year of computer session introduction.
On basis of aforementioned premises, the argument claims that other schools must allocate large portion of budget to buy computers and in interactive computer sessions to get the best result and reduce the student drop out rate. The stated claims seems unsubstantiated because only buying computers and introduction of computer interactive classes is not sole factor to achieve results. The argument lacks substantial reasoning to support the conclusion.
In conclusion, the argument is completely ill-reasoned and unconvincing. The argument can be bolstered by providing additional evidences or reasons for reduction in students drop-out and impressive achievements.
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Re: Please rate my essay &nbs [#permalink] 27 Nov 2017, 05:23
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