It is currently 21 Apr 2018, 00:56

Close

GMAT Club Daily Prep

Thank you for using the timer - this advanced tool can estimate your performance and suggest more practice questions. We have subscribed you to Daily Prep Questions via email.

Customized
for You

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

Track
Your Progress

every week, we’ll send you an estimated GMAT score based on your performance

Practice
Pays

we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

Not interested in getting valuable practice questions and articles delivered to your email? No problem, unsubscribe here.

Close

Request Expert Reply

Confirm Cancel

Events & Promotions

Events & Promotions in June
Open Detailed Calendar

Please rate my essay for the TOEFL integrated task

  new topic post reply Question banks Downloads My Bookmarks Reviews Important topics  
Author Message
Intern
Intern
avatar
Joined: 22 Dec 2017
Posts: 1
Please rate my essay for the TOEFL integrated task [#permalink]

Show Tags

New post 07 Jan 2018, 08:05
The Reading:

Altruism is a type of behavior in which an animal sacrifices its own interest for that of another animal or group of animals. Altruism is the opposite of selfishness; individuals performing altruistic acts gain nothing for themselves. Examples of altruism abound, both among humans and among other mammals. Unselfish acts among humans range from the sharing of food with strangers to the donation of body organs to family members, and even to strangers. Such acts are altruistic in that they benefit another, yet provide little reward to the one performing the act.

In fact, many species of animals appear willing to sacrifice food, or even their life, to assist other members of their group. The meerkat, which is a mammal that dwells in burrows in grassland areas of Africa, is often cited as an example. In groups of meerkats, an individual acts as a sentinel, standing guard and looking out for predators while the others hunt for food or eat food they have obtained. If the sentinel meerkat sees a predator such as a hawk approaching the group, it gives an alarm cry alerting the other meerkats to run and seek shelter. By standing guard, the sentinel meerkat gains nothing - it goes without food while the others eat, and it places itself in grave danger. After it issues an alarm, it has to flee alone, which might make it more at risk to a predator, since animals in groups are often able to work together to fend off a predator. So the altruistic sentinel behavior helps ensure the survival of other members of the meerkat’s group.

Listening Script

You know, often in science, new findings force us to re-examine earlier beliefs and assumptions. And a recent study of meerkats is having exactly this effect. The study examined the meerkat’s behavior quite closely, much more closely than had ever been done before. And some interesting things were found… like about eating habits… it showed that typically meerkats eat before they stand guard – so the ones standing guard had a full stomach! And the study also found that since the sentinel is the first to see a predator coming, it’s the most likely to escape… because it often stands guard near a burrow, so it can run immediately into the burrow after giving the alarm. The other meerkats, the ones scattered about looking for food, are actually in greater danger. And in fact, other studies have suggested that when an animal creates an alarm, the alarm call might cause the other group members either to gather together or else to move about very quickly, behaviors that might actually draw the predator’s attention away from the caller, increasing that animal’s own chances of survival. And what about people – what about some human acts that might be considered altruistic? Let’s take an extreme case, uh, suppose a person donates a kidney to a relative, or even to a complete stranger. A selfish act, right? But …. Doesn’t the donor receive appreciation and approval from the stranger and from society? Doesn’t the donor gain an increased sense of self-worth? Couldn’t such non-material rewards be considered very valuable to some people?


My essay:

The author states that altruism is a good behavior that animals in general perform without any self interest. However, the professor provides us a few examples that altruist behavior is not always without any interest.

The passage says that among humans it is common to peform donations and sharing food for the benefit of others, but the professor says that it could sometimes mean something that the person does in order to be seen as a "model citizen" in the society. It would not be a act of altruism in this case, because there are truly self interest, even though it is an act that is helping others.

The professor also provides us another example in the wilderness how altruism does not always sacrifice its own interest. For example, some animals who are in a group sometimes stays as sentinels for the group. However, it gives them the advantage of running away if they see the predator coming, which gives them much more time and better chances of survival if compared to the group itself.
Senior Manager
Senior Manager
avatar
V
Joined: 30 Jan 2016
Posts: 495
Location: United States (MA)
Reviews Badge
Re: Please rate my essay for the TOEFL integrated task [#permalink]

Show Tags

New post 07 Jan 2018, 09:49
Hi!

Your essay is too short to get the max score. There is a great video by Notefull for WT 1:

https://gmatclub.com/forum/toefl-instru ... 46203.html
_________________

本当のライバルは昨日までの自分

Re: Please rate my essay for the TOEFL integrated task   [#permalink] 07 Jan 2018, 09:49
Display posts from previous: Sort by

Please rate my essay for the TOEFL integrated task

  new topic post reply Question banks Downloads My Bookmarks Reviews Important topics  

Moderators: carcass, subhashghosh



GMAT Club MBA Forum Home| About| Terms and Conditions| GMAT Club Rules| Contact| Sitemap

Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group | Emoji artwork provided by EmojiOne

Kindly note that the GMAT® test is a registered trademark of the Graduate Management Admission Council®, and this site has neither been reviewed nor endorsed by GMAC®.