Please Rate My Essays
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07 Jan 2014, 11:52
I am having a hard time figuring out exactly how long they want these essays tone. For some of the topics, I have several main points but less content for each point and others I have fewer main points, but more content in each and I was wondering which I should aim for. Here are four of my essays, feel free to evaluate as many or as little as you like.
THanks so much for your time!
Issue Essays:
Prompt 1: Universities should require students to take courses only within those fields they are interested in studying.
Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.
Essay 1: A typical college curriculum includes courses specific to the student's major as well as general courses in subjects such as government, writing, basic math, and visual and performing arts. While all of these courses provide some insight into fields other than a student's major, students would benefit from doing away with these "core" curriculum requirements for a variety of reasons.
College degrees are costly, with tuition prices constantly increasing, students would save hundreds of dollars on tuition and textbooks for these classes that in many cases, do not help them in their respective fields. Many students have to work during college to be able to afford these classes. The time a student spends at work takes away from time spent studying, and can lead to higher stress levels, compromised sickness, and lower grades. If these frivolous classes were not required, a student could spend more time studying the subjects that will be vital to excellence in their future careers, have lower stress levels, better health, and make higher grades. If these classes are cut from the curriculum, the college experience would be more affordable for students.
Many of the classes in a university's core curriculum are large, sometimes several hundred students are packed into a single lecture hall. These massive classes create an impersonal and intimidating learning environment to students. Students will not feel comfortable asking questions in front of hundreds of their peers, so the question will most likely not be asked, and a student will most likely not grasp the concept at all, which lowers grades and heightens stress. Eliminating these classes as requirements for all students will reduce class sizes to just those students that need the class for their major. In addition, large classes can be more stressful and impersonal for professors. Professors will have more assignments to grade and will be less inclined to do a satisfactory job teaching when they do not personally know their own students.
If classes do not pertain to a student's major they are less likely to be interested in the subject material which means they will be less motivated to study for these core classes. Less motivation means lower grades, and students will most likely put off studying for the class until last minute which will also lower their grade, and will not result in long-term memory of the material renders it useless to a student's future.
Even though eliminating classes that do not correlate with a student's major has benefits, there is also a major consequence: eliminating these classes results in a student that is not as well-rounded. When a student takes a variety of other classes unrelated to a major they produces other ways of thinking, and encourages students to explore fields they may not have been previously interested in. These core classes give students a basic look into topics such as how the government works which helps them become informed citizens, or how to be an effective writer which could prove vital to writing research papers after college. However, there are ways to tie in these core concepts into major-related classes such as offering classes such as biomedical statistics for science majors and business statistics for business majors.
While there are drawbacks to eliminating core classes, these classes can be actively incorporated into a student's major, and the other benefits clearly outweigh the costs. It would be conducive to an enhanced learning environment to eliminate any class that does not relate to a student's respective field.
Prompt 2:Technology, while apparently aimed to simplify our lives, only makes our lives more complicated.
Essay 2: Technology simplifies many aspects of life, from saving time on math problems to connecting people from different parts of the planet.
One way technology has simplified our lives is by devices that help us save time on even the most mundane tasks. One example is the calculator: the calculator made once lengthy calculations easily solved by pressing just a few buttons. Not only has this saved time, but it has also increased the accuracy of such calculations, because they are less prone to human mathematical error. Even vacuuming has been simplified by technology. What used to be a laborious task, done with heavy and cumbersome vacuum cleaners, can now be done with a robot that knows the floor plan of a building and does the work for you. This robot can do a better job than manual vacuum cleaners because it can fit into small spaces where other vacuum cleaners cannot reach. This robot also allows people to focus on other things rather than vacuuming so you can be more productive.
In addition to helping us save time, technology can also help us connect with people that are very far away. This is much simpler than trying to use "snail mail" or even e-mail. Services such as Skype and FaceTime allow us to video-chat with someone anywhere on the planet within seconds, and we don't have to wait for a response. This not only ensures a quick response, but also allows for more personal communication, and it can be easier to clarify misunderstandings immediately. Text messaging and instant messaging allow us to be immediately alerted when we receive mail and cut down our response times, rather than waiting for someone to open up, read, and respond to e-mails, thus allowing us to communicate more frequently and personally with others.
While technology simplifies many aspects of our daily lives, there are times when it does make our lives more complicated. This problem arises when we don't know how to properly use technology. If we do not follow the given instructions when using a piece of technology, we can end up ruining the machine, endangering ourselves or others, or damaging the desired product. For example, cars today have sophisticated equipment that alerts us to problems within the car's operations. If we do not know what these alerts mean (such as our check engine light or "low tire pressure" signal) then we may just keep driving the vehicle, when in fact it is not safe to drive, thus endangering ourselves and others, and perhaps ruining the car. Another example of when technology makes our lives more difficult is computers. While computers do make many aspects of our lives simple, when we do not know how to use them or their software, complications happen. If someone does not know to use antivirus software, they are opening up their computer to a host of viruses that could destroy their work and computer. What if someone does not know how to use parental controls? They would be unable to control what their kids see when surfing the web which could make parenting more complicated.
While technology occasionally makes life more complicated, it generally makes life simpler. With technology always advancing, our lives will become more and more simplified as time goes on.
Argument Essays:
Prompt 1: SuperCorp recently moved its headquarters to Corporateville. The recent surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that Corporateville is a superior place to live then Middlesburg, the home of SuperCorp's current headquarters. Moreover, Middleburg is a predominately urban area and according to an employee survey, SuperCorp has determined that its workers prefer to live in an area that is not urban. Finally, Corporateville has lower taxes than Middlesburg, making it not only a safer place to work but also a cheaper one. Therefore, Supercorp clearly made the best decision.
Essay 1: There are four assumptions that this argument is based on. If these assumptions are not true, then SuperCorp clearly made the wrong decision by relocating its headquarters from Middlesburg to Corporateville.
The first fallacy in this argument is that the influx in homeowners proves that SuperCorp is superior. This is misguided because, SuperCorp failed to realize that this "surge" is probably due to relocating their headquarters and employees to Corporateville, rather than the quality of the actual city. In addition, more people may be buying houses, because they may have lived in apartments before, not because they are new to Corporateville or that it is superior.
Another flaw in this argument is that the results of the survey could be flawed. SuperCorp determined that its workers, not necessarily those that work in the headquarters, prefer to live in areas that are not urban. Therefore, those that work in the headquarters may actually prefer urban areas and may be unhappy with the move from Middlesburg. The argument also does not state whether Corporateville is urban or not, so SuperCorp could actually be moving its employees from one urban environment to another which, according to the (flawed) results of the survey could upset employees.
This argument also assumes that all urban environments are more dangerous than non-urban areas. It is impossible to compare areas that are in different geographical locations, have different populations, and different governments. While one urban area might be dangerous, it does not necessarily mean that Middlesburg is dangerous or that Corporateville is any safer.
Lastly, the assumption that because Corporateville has lower taxes it is a cheaper place to live is too narrow in scope. SuperCorp failed to take into account the cost of moving from Middlesburg to Corporateville which could be very expensive. In addition, it fails to recognize that while taxes may be cheaper, the cost of living may be higher in Corporateville making Corporateville a more costly place to live.
After examining these four assumptions and fallacies, it is incorrect to state that SuperCorp made the correct decision without further research. If SuperCorp can prove these assumptions are true: that it is indeed a safer and cheaper place to live, that the employees at the headquarters do want to move into a non-urban environment, and that the influx in homeownership is not just due to the company relocation, then they can they sate that SuperCorp made the correct decision.
Prompt 2:
Recent incursions by deep-sea fisherman into the habitat of the Madagascan shrimp have led to a significant reduction in the species population. With the breeding season fast approaching, the number of shrimp should soon begin to increase. Nonetheless, the population should not return to the levels before the fishing boats arrived. Because this trend is expected to continue over the next several years, the Madagascan shrimp will quickly become an endangered species.
Essay 2: While the numbers of Madagascan shrimp may seem dismal, more evidence must be gathered to determine if deep-sea fishing is actually reducing the numbers to the point that these shrimp will become endangered.
This argument states that deep-sea fishermen are now fishing in the Madagascan shrimp territory, what it omits is what the fishermen's desired catch. If they are fishing for the Madagascan shrimp specifically or the main food source of the Madagascan shrimp, then this is evidence that the Madagascan shrimp could soon become endangered. If these fishermen are not after these shrimp or their main food source, then there must be other causes of the dwindling populations.
This argument relies on the fact that fishermen are destroying the Madagascan shrimp population, however, there should be research that examines if there is another, possibly biological cause of declining shrimp numbers. For example, if the Madagascan shrimp has any known predators that may have increased in number, therefore eating more Madagascan shrimp than the population can handle. In addition, one should examine if there are any climate changes to the Madagascan shrimp's natural habitat that could cause it to die off. Any biological cause could prove that the shrimp may soon become endangered, but that it would not be due to the deep sea fishermen.
The habitat of the Madagascan shrimp should also be evaluated. This argument hinges on the fact that deep-sea fishermen are killing the shrimp populations. However, if the Madagascan shrimp also live in more shallow water, then they could be fished by other fishermen that do not solely fish in deep waters as well. This could result in the Madagascan shrimp becoming an endangered species faster than originally thought.
Lastly the population of Madagascan shrimp before and after breeding seasons should be documented and scrutinized. This data can then be compared to the amount of Madagascan shrimp that are being fished in deep-sea waters. If the natural birth and death rates are lower than the rate the Madagascan shrimp are being fished, then tighter fishing regulations should be imposed in order to keep the population stabilized and prevent it from becoming endangered. If the natural birth and death rate of these shrimp is higher than those lost to fishing, then the deep-sea fishing is not the cause of the population reduction and the population should return to its previous size after the breeding season.
More data about the fishing habits, climate, and habitat of the Madagascan shrimp are needed in order for this argument to prove valid or invalid.
Thanks so much for your time, these are my first set of essays that I've written (in the time constraints of course) so I'm still figuring everything out. Have a good day!