Hi,
This is my first time trying to write an AWA essay. I have no idea how my writing would rate and how much work I need to do, so I would like your thoughts.
Also, it took me 90 minutes to finish this essay... so I would appreciate it if anyone knows a good way to practice planning my essay and writing it faster.
Thank you in advance!
TOPIC
The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods:
"Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits."
Discuss how well reasoned...
ANSWER
The argument states that Olympic Foods can minimize its costs and thus maximize its profits because of its long experience, since generally, organizations working in processing can become more efficient after working in it for a certain length of time. However, the argument lacks some important facts and evidence in order to make this argument convincing.
First of all, the author gives a historical fact about color film processing as an example to support his/her argument that costs of processing go down over time. However, the author merely states the fact that the cost and time taken for color film processing fell in a 14 year period, and fails to give more evidence to say that this fall can be attributed to the length of the time period. The fall of cost can else be attributed, for example, to a decrease in material costs. Also, the decrease in time taken for processing can be attributed, for example, to an increase in manpower or machinery, which does not necessarily associate with the length of time the organization is working in the process, but rather the funds it has to invest in these assets. Therefore, this example of color film processing fails to support the author's main argument.
Secondly, the argument states that the principle of efficiency improvement in color film processing can also be applied to food processing. This statement is weak as it does not assure the readers that these two processes have enough similarity to justify applying the same principle to them. Readers could easily imagine that these two processes require entirely different skills, machinery, and materials to complete them. Hence readers would be skeptical to think that the same principle could apply to both of these processes unless the author elaborates on why he/she thinks so.
Finally, the author does not elaborate on how exactly organizations could become more efficient over a long period of time. The article does state that organizations "learn how to do things better", but what exactly do they learn? Also, how can the readers be assured that organizations would learn those things just because they have long experience? Are not other factors needed as well, such as process evaluations conducted constantly during the time period, or funds to implement actual measures to improve efficiency? Did Olympic Foods have these factors? Answering these questions would have strongly supported the argument and would have made it more convincing.
In conclusion, the article lacks key facts and evidence to make its argument convincing. The author needs to elaborate on the factors mentioned above to make his argument clearer and stronger. Without these factors, the article remains conspicuous and open to debate.