Pls. rate - Analysis of Argument

Question

The following appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine:
“On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and
services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will
increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly
during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those
products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer.”

Answer:
The argument claims that since middle -aged people spend more at departmental stores than younger consumers, replacing these stores with some products relevant to middle age consumers will bring considerable benefits to the departmental stores. Thre are serious flaws that needs to be fixed inorder to validate this argument.

Firstly, the argument assumes that the number of middle aged people will increase within the next decade. This fails to mention the key factors on the basis of which it could be evaluated. There is no evidence stated in the passage which says the middle aged number is going to increase in the coming years. Even if the middle aged population was to increase , it may have very well be in par with the younger people population which would have increased too. Hence replacing the store products with products pertaining to middle aged people cannot increase the product sales. Infact this would attract middle aged people at the cost of losing younger customers. This is a compromise and risk that retail stores usually would not encourage.
If the argument had provided evidence that middle aged number was going to be increasing much more in comparion to younger people in the next decade, then the argument would have been lot more convincing.

Secondly, replacing the products to concentrate on middle aged people will create a sort of bias among customers and this inturn will lead to customers prefering stores that do not have such restrictions. For instance the people visiting a retail store will usually do so with there family members or friends who may or maynot be from the same age group. So if a younger person shops with a elder person, then they both will have different product needs and they will therefore prefer a place which caters to both their requirement than just one person's.

Thirdly , when a store concentrates on a particular customer group, it may catch the eye of their immediate opponent stores who can take this business style for their advantage by introducing more schemes for both younger and elder population. For eg. say there are two stores in close proximity. A and B both are in operation for about 20 years, have great reputation. Each has its own share of customers. Assume A has introduced 10 products for middle aged alone. B on the other hand has increased products for both Younger and middle aged . In this case B will catch the eye of customers from store A too, as they get more options and choices to choose from. This would decrease rather than increasing the store sales.

Hence, without convincing answers to these questions, the conclusion is unconvincing.

nsp007 · Answer

Hi sang5650,

I would rate it 5.5 !!

I am not an expert to comment much on the essay... but thought that this small suggestion should be helpful -

You could have added few more words to the conclusion - "Hence, it can be concluded that the argument is unconvincing based on the above stated assumptions. It could be strengthened if the author provided relevant facts for the assupmtions.... " or something similar.

Overall, a well-structured essay !

Cheers,
nsp

sang5650 · Answer

Thanks! yep. I was running a bit on time hence had to keep my conclusion brief. need to improve on that.

samira · Answer

hey,

Your argument is pretty good. But as I am new to GMAT, i am not expert at rating someone's writing, even not my writing. Can anybody help me rating my analysis of an issue? It would be really helpful for me to understand my position.

Issue analysis: “Each generation must accept blame not only for the hateful words and actions of some of its members but also for the failure of other members to speak out against those words and actions.”

The author claims that a generation should be blamed both for the disgraceful actions that it has taken and for lack of prevention of that generation to stop that action. Though some people might argue that the each generation is not solely responsible, but I find the authors claim more reasonable if closer examination is revealed.

Firstly, a disgraceful action and its lack of prevention can increase that action in the society. For instance, child labor is a disgraceful action of a society. If this action is undertaken in a society and nobody speaks out to prevent child from such works, then this action would increase from generation to generation. To prevent such crime, a generation is responsible.

Secondly, a generation is responsible for its action to reduce anarchy in the system. To illustrate this, when a crime increase in a society and people in that society do not prevent that crime, then a social anarchy occurs in the system. The people who are against that crime cannot live in that society peacefully, if they do not raise their voice or take actions to prevent that crime.

Thirdly, the action of each generation is carried out by its next generation. For example- the people of Afganistan are blamed for terrorism, because some of their previous generations have done such actions. If the previous generation worked to stop that action then the next generation would not have to carry the blame or pay for the blame.

However, in some cases, it has been occurred that a generation cannot solve its problem within their current system; next generation must appear to stop that action. For example- during the reign of Hitler, Germany became too aggressive to start world war. The people of that time were unable to raise voice against such action, as they used to live in the autocratic system. But later, next generation came and stopped such action in the favorable system of that time. So the previous generation cannot be blamed for such action.

In conclusion, it can be said from the above illustrated point that, though not every generation is responsible to take the blame for their action, it is always better if each generation take the blame of their action and move ahead to solve that action.

Pls. rate - Analysis of Argument

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