Pls help to review my essay if you can (otherwise, thank you for your time anyway to read my post
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The report suggests that the company should move the current manager of purchasing department to the sales department and move a scientist to the purchasing department. The reason is that the purchasing manager knows little about properties of metals. The first problem with this argument is that the purchasing manager knows little about metals but might still have a good planning skill which is the essential competence to improve the delays. Second, the scientist from the research division knows better about metals but might not have a good planning skill. Third, the purchasing manager might not be suitable for the sales department because the competencies needed to be a successful sales manager are not clear. Therefore, the argument in the report is flawed.
First, the manager of the purchasing department might be a good planner. In fact, the manager has an excellent background in general business, psychology, and sociology and so it is very likely that he/she has been trained about how to plan well. He/she know little about the properties of metals, but this is not the essential factor of the delays in manufacturing.
Second, the scientist from the research division might be a poor planner. He/she know much more about metals, but this does not make sure at all he/she is a good planner. In fact, the scientist is normally not trained the planning skill in a research environment and therefore it is more likely that he/she is not a good planner.
Third, the success criteria of a sales manager are not clear. How do we know the purchasing manager can play the role of the sales manager well when such criteria are not mentioned? Even though the purchasing manager has an excellent background in general business, psychology, and sociology, there is no guaranty that he/she can succeed in the new role without such criteria.
The argument can be improved with the following changes. Firstly, it needs to focus more on who has a better planning skill instead of who has more knowledge about metal. Between, the purchasing manager and the scientist, who has a better planning skill? Besides, it needs to make clear what the criteria of successful sales manager are. Without such criteria, it is impossible to identify who is suitable to be in that role.
In short, the report suggests the company to move a scientist into the purchasing department and move the current purchasing manager into the sales department. The first two flaws of this argument are the purchasing manager might a good planner and the scientist might be a poor planner. Besides, another problem is that the competencies needed to be a successful sales manager are not mentioned. The argument can be strengthened if it focuses more on who has a better planning skill and mention clearly what the criteria for a successful sales manager are. The argument, as it stands, however is flawed for the mentioned reasons.