IELTS Academic Writing Task 1 evaluation

Question

Hi people can someone evaluate my Writing Task 1 for academic IELTS, the graph is attached for reference
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
The graph mentioned above shows a graph for average delay in Airports for 4 different cities, over a period of 20 years.

As per the graph evaluation New York has maximum delay time getting to over 38 hrs between 2001-2005, although we see a decline in the average wait time over the years reducing up to 28 hrs in 2011-2015. The same goes for Chicago where for the first 10 years the average wait time was between 30 to 40 hrs, which decreased to less than 23 hrs in the last 5 years of the record.

Also we can see an unusual change in the graph for San Francisco, where the average was less than 10 hrs as per the records from 1996-2000, but its inscreased drastically reaching for more than 28 hrs of average delay.

Out of all the major cities Dallas has shown some notable work in reducing the average time over years, once the average went to almost 27 hrs they brought it down to less than 8 hrs over the next 10 years. This is the most remarkable change in the average delay time.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Attachments

File comment: Question(Graph)

WT-1-1.png [ 17.28 KiB | Viewed 1670 times ]

Businessconquerer · Answer

Too short, I agree that the writing task 1 requires you to write less, but be descriptive, use several types of sentences. TIP- Keep the tone descriptive.

dubeyvani · Answer

Thank you for the feedback, today again i will write the task and will try to be more descriptive.

Businessconquerer · Answer

Tag me if you want, I got a 7.5 in writing with only 2 days of prep

ibrahim21gad · Answer

The diagram illustrates the current water supply plan in motion and the one to be implemented in future in Australia

Overall, The water system currently In used does not recycle water, which is set to change in the upcoming water supply system.

In the current system the pure water is transported from a dam to the city which is then used by households, shops and factories. Only the waste water is directed to the water treatment plant. The water treatment plant treats the water and releases it into the river, whereas the storm water is directly released in the river.

In the future Australia will be adopting a new water supply system, which will focus on water recycling. The city will receive its pure water from a dam which will be used by households, factories and shops, later the waste water and storm water generated by the city will be supplied to the water treatment plant, where it will get purified and will be transported back to the city to be recycled. Grade this. can any one review this

IELTS Academic Writing Task 1 evaluation

Prep Toolkit

Top 5 GMAT Debrief Videos

615 to 715 in 15 Days (Ria's Strategies)

More than Quant/Verbal Abilities: Speed vs. Accuracy

745 with Only Self-Prep and GMAT Club

From 555 to 765: 210-point Improvement

Perfect 805 Score Debrief by Julia

My Rewards