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R3 Optional Essay Feedback

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Joined: 11 Dec 2017
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R3 Optional Essay Feedback [#permalink]

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New post 13 Mar 2018, 17:42
Hi all--

I'm getting ready to submit my apps for R3. I'm struggling with structure--I need to communicate:

1. My low quant score on GMAT is due to a deficit from being sick when I was younger
2. I feel confident I can keep up with the quant courses due to the reasons I listed below
3. I'm applying Round 3 because health issues prohibited me from applying round 1 or 2 (don't have this in there yet, but let me know if I need it)
4. My s/o has been accepted to the school (again do I need this?)

My GPA is strong (3.85), I graduated Phi Beta Kappa, have been on an accelerated path at work, manage a team of 10 less than 5 years out of school, etc. so this is the one weakness in my application I want to make sure I address correctly.

I've created two drafts below. Any feedback is greatly appreciated!

----------------
Option One:

In high school, due to frequent hospitalizations and severity of symptoms, I was homeschooled for several years. To graduate on time, certain courses including quantitative subjects, were eliminated. In college, I focused on my passion areas of Psychology and English, while catching up on quantitative skills in classes like Statistics. However, as I entered my career, it was clear there was a quantitative deficit.

This is a deficit I did much work to overcome, as my job demanded financial stewardship, budget management, analytic prowess, and reputational assessment and crisis modeling. Today, I manage multi-million dollar budgets, recently received the top marketing award for use of analytics, and my digital reputational assessment tool has been integrated into a Fortune 50 company's reputation assessment system. I’m proud of all I’ve accomplished and look forward to educating myself further as an MBA candidate.

I strongly believe my standardized test scores do not reflect my quantitative aptitude as evidenced by current roles in my position.

With that said, I understand that my standardized test scores are on the lower end and want to assure the admissions committee that I am fully capable of handling the quantitative rigor X program demands. As such, I’m currently taking courses from the MBA Math program in Finance, Economics, Accounting, and Statistics and will be submitting my grades to the committee upon completion.
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Option Two:

I want to create gender equality in healthcare. While this does not require me to become a statistician or an accountant, my ability to speak and work in these fields will be essential to achieving my goal.

I understand this deeply. I also understand my standardized test scores fall below average. I do not want to use this space to convince you that I am a math prodigy, because that is far from the truth.

What I am is a hard worker. A fast learner. A woman on a mission with the knowledge of exactly what I need to learn to press for progress in healthcare. Knowledge that I will gain at X program.

I have the aptitude to keep up in the quantitatively rigorous courses that X program demands. This is demonstrated in my current rolewhere I manage multi-million dollar budgets, recently earned a top marketing award for Best Use of Analytics, and created a digital reputational assessment tool that was integrated at the enterprise level of a Fortune 50 company. Analytics are the lifeblood of our agency and I’m proud to be known as an expert on running complex analyses to produce positive results.

With that said, I want to assure the admissions committee that I’m prepared for the specific coursework I will go through at X program. As such, I’m currently taking courses from the MBA Math program in Finance, Economics, Accounting, and Statistics and will be submitting my grades to the committee upon completion.
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Re: R3 Optional Essay Feedback [#permalink]

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New post 13 Mar 2018, 20:29
I would combine the portions of these essays that support your quantitative aptitude but I would avoid mention of your lack of math courses growing up. Just state how the scores don't reflect your quant skills and proof of your quantitative aptitude. Yo also may want to make it a bit concise so it does not feel too long.

Also, if there is nowhere else to mention it, I don't think it hurts to mention your partner has recently been admitted but share it in the context of you are excited to potentially join your spouse at the school. Good luck!
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Re: R3 Optional Essay Feedback   [#permalink] 13 Mar 2018, 20:29
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