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27 Jul 2021, 09:41
Kudos
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Hello all, Can anyone grade my AWA writing. Thank you.
The following appeared as a part of an advertisement for Adams, who is seeking re-election as governor: “Re-elect Adams, and you will be voting for proven leadership in improving the state’s economy. Over the past year alone, 70 percent of the state’s workers have had increases in their wages, 5,000 new jobs have been created, and six corporations have located their headquarters here. Most of the respondents in a recent poll said they believed that the economy is likely to continue to improve if Adams is re-elected. Adams’s opponent, Zebulon, would lead our state in the wrong direction, because Zebulon disagrees with many of Adams’s economic policies.” Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
The argument in the advertisement claims that most of the respondents in the recent poll said they believed that the economy is likely to continue if Adams is re-elected. Stated in this way that the argument is inconclusive without the data supporting its hypothesis, tends to manipulate the fact to present to the distorted view of reality and is a leap of faith reasoning without clear outcomes. In sum, the argument could be improved if it stated the relevant data on which its core assumption is depends on.
First, the argument readily assumes that the over the past year alone, 70 percent of the state’s workers have had increases in their wages, 5,000 new jobs have been created, and six corporations have located their headquarters in the city. The argument could be incorrect as it did not consider the other factors. For example, it could be possible that these examples are affect of the previous year and Adam has nothing to do with these examples. So, solely replying on one factor is good indicator to analysis. The argument could be improved, if it provides the detail data of previous year’s economy while making the claim.
Second, the argument claims that Adam’s opponent, Zebulon, would lead the state because he disagrees with Adams in many policies. This is also a very weak and un-supported claim as the argument did not consider the other related factors while considering the claims. To illustrate, Zebulon may better understand the local policies and he could lead the state in better way than Adams. So, until argument gives clear picture of the policies of the state and previous knowledge of the state ownership of Adams and Zebulon, it is unwise to deem that the Adams could lead better than Zebulon. If the argument provided the details or fact, then it would be more-clearer to convince the goal.
Finally, the argument should answer the questions such as: what was the workers’ wages in last five years? When was last increase in the workers’ wages? What are the new projects that started in last five year? Without convincing answer to these questions, one may in impression that the argument is more of a leap of faith than a well-reasoned inference drawn, from logical reasoning.
In conclusion the argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasoning and therefore, not convincing. The argument could be more-clearer if the author stated the data while making the claims. In order to access the merit of a decision, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors. In this particular case, it is the last five years economy, last five years salary structure, last five years projects. Without this information, the argument is indefensible and open to debate.
The following appeared as a part of an advertisement for Adams, who is seeking re-election as governor: “Re-elect Adams, and you will be voting for proven leadership in improving the state’s economy. Over the past year alone, 70 percent of the state’s workers have had increases in their wages, 5,000 new jobs have been created, and six corporations have located their headquarters here. Most of the respondents in a recent poll said they believed that the economy is likely to continue to improve if Adams is re-elected. Adams’s opponent, Zebulon, would lead our state in the wrong direction, because Zebulon disagrees with many of Adams’s economic policies.” Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
The argument in the advertisement claims that most of the respondents in the recent poll said they believed that the economy is likely to continue if Adams is re-elected. Stated in this way that the argument is inconclusive without the data supporting its hypothesis, tends to manipulate the fact to present to the distorted view of reality and is a leap of faith reasoning without clear outcomes. In sum, the argument could be improved if it stated the relevant data on which its core assumption is depends on.
First, the argument readily assumes that the over the past year alone, 70 percent of the state’s workers have had increases in their wages, 5,000 new jobs have been created, and six corporations have located their headquarters in the city. The argument could be incorrect as it did not consider the other factors. For example, it could be possible that these examples are affect of the previous year and Adam has nothing to do with these examples. So, solely replying on one factor is good indicator to analysis. The argument could be improved, if it provides the detail data of previous year’s economy while making the claim.
Second, the argument claims that Adam’s opponent, Zebulon, would lead the state because he disagrees with Adams in many policies. This is also a very weak and un-supported claim as the argument did not consider the other related factors while considering the claims. To illustrate, Zebulon may better understand the local policies and he could lead the state in better way than Adams. So, until argument gives clear picture of the policies of the state and previous knowledge of the state ownership of Adams and Zebulon, it is unwise to deem that the Adams could lead better than Zebulon. If the argument provided the details or fact, then it would be more-clearer to convince the goal.
Finally, the argument should answer the questions such as: what was the workers’ wages in last five years? When was last increase in the workers’ wages? What are the new projects that started in last five year? Without convincing answer to these questions, one may in impression that the argument is more of a leap of faith than a well-reasoned inference drawn, from logical reasoning.
In conclusion the argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasoning and therefore, not convincing. The argument could be more-clearer if the author stated the data while making the claims. In order to access the merit of a decision, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors. In this particular case, it is the last five years economy, last five years salary structure, last five years projects. Without this information, the argument is indefensible and open to debate.
28 Jul 2021, 02:07
Kudos
Bookmarks
Welcome to GMAT Club!
AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
PS: Please follow the AWA forum rules while posting the next one here, read the rule: https://gmatclub.com/forum/analytical-w ... t-awa-144/
Good Luck
ghoshamar235
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