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Re: The country of Oleum can best solve the problem of its balance of [#permalink]
Expert Reply
AWA Score: 6 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 6
The essay demonstrates excellent coherence and connectivity. The ideas are well-organized and presented in a logical and clear manner. The writer effectively connects each paragraph to the main argument and provides a smooth flow of information and analysis.

Word structure: 5.5
The essay utilizes a good range of vocabulary and effectively expresses ideas. The sentences are generally well-structured and demonstrate a good command of grammar. There are a few instances where sentence structures could be further varied to enhance the overall writing style.

Paragraph structure and formation: 6
The essay follows a clear paragraph structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point and provides sufficient explanation and analysis. The ideas are well-developed within each paragraph, and the essay as a whole has a cohesive structure.

Language and Grammar: 6
The essay demonstrates strong language and grammar skills. The writer effectively communicates their ideas with clarity and precision. There are only minor grammatical errors or inconsistencies, which do not significantly hinder understanding.

Vocabulary and word expression: 6
The writer displays a wide range of vocabulary and uses words appropriately to express their ideas. The essay incorporates specialized terms, such as "balance of trade deficit" and "imposing heavy duties," which contribute to the effectiveness of the argument. The vocabulary choices are varied and demonstrate a good command of language.

Overall, the essay exhibits a strong level of writing skill and effectively evaluates the given argument. It provides a clear analysis of the reasoning and use of evidence while highlighting the flaws in the argument. The essay demonstrates coherence and connectivity, a strong word structure, well-organized paragraph formation, proficient language and grammar usage, and a good vocabulary and word expression.


Aneri15 wrote:
In the following passage, a solution is proposed to overcome the trade debt experienced by the country of Oleum. The country plans on imposing heavy duties on crude oil, their major import, and continue to do so for a higher amount the next year. This solution is however open to debate for several reasons as discussed in the subsequent paragraphs.

Firstly, the claim states that tax imposition is the best way to overcome the deficit. However, the position fails to assess any other alternatives that might resolve the issue without charging heavy taxes, and may in fact be a better solution. The argument also doesn't consider spreading out the taxes on several different imports instead of putting all the pressure on one import, crude oil. This solution may take the burden off one item and be more economical for the general public. Therefore, no such claim can be made with certainty without assessing all the different solutions.

Secondly, it is mentioned that gasoline consumption goes down by 20 percent, four months after the tax initiative is put into effect. However, this statement is not supported by any evidence explaining the correlation between the two events. It can be a mere coincidence, or may even depend on other factors such as decreased demand, or cheaper export, that may have impacted the gasoline price. Moreover, the base price for gasoline is not mentioned to truly determine if 20 percent is a considerable decrease or not. Thus, with this incomplete information, the importance of the given statement remains unknown.

Finally, the passage goes so far as to establish that the tax should be further increased for the coming year, based on half-baked conclusions from the previous statements. There is no validity to this claim as the full picture of the implications of tax imposition still remains a mystery. Moreover, imposing higher taxes can prove to be counterproductive for the country, in case the crude oil become unaffordable and people stop using it. This would lead to a fall in demand, and an abundance of supply, leading to further deficit.

For the above-mentioned reasons, this argument lacks a lot of necessary evidence to testify to the claim with certainty. Without it, one cannot conclude with surety if it's a good idea to stick to the strategy suggested in the passage.
GMAT Club Bot
Re: The country of Oleum can best solve the problem of its balance of [#permalink]
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