The Goals Essay - How much personality?

Question

OK. So here is what I am struggling with. By blatantly generalizing all applications, I have come to the following conclusion. There are 3 types of essays usually asked in an app-

1. Goals Essay (Why MBA? Why now? 
2. Leadership/Significant Experience
3. Wildcard (Failure, ethics, describe yourself creatively etc.)

After having written a draft of the goals essay I realize that the essay is a tad too impersonal given that it is SO content focussed. I am writing my past experiences, my reasons for an MBA, my future goals, why the school is impt..and there is simply so much content here that its difficult to "personalize" this essay using a "out-of-box" introduction or "conversational" tone.

Having said this, the other essays (Leadership and wildcard) is more conversational and definetely gives me the leeway to use a out-of-box introduction that captures the reader's attention.

I have heard a school of thought that the goals essay IS meant to be more serious in tone and its more important to sell the content than the style and tone. The other essays could be used to connect more personally with the adcomm. However I am concerned that the adcomm after reading thousands of goals essay will simply get bored by a content-based essay.

My question to all of you - for your goals essays, what kind of tone did you use? Did you have an "out-of-box" intro...or did you launch into the content immediately?

Any thoughts?

sterny · Answer

To help you all..here are my definitions of a "out-of-box essay" vs content-based-vanilla-but-well-researched essay

Out-of-box, 1. Imaginary introduction of a future event 2. Starting with a quotation or something someone said to you 3. Anytime in the essay that you deliberately let go of grammar for style. 4. Humor. ANYWHERE in the goals essay 5. Description of a personal NON-career event...such as "my parents came to this country with no money..." or "while travelling in nicaragua, i discovered that climbing mountains ...." content-based-vanilla-but-well-researchedd essay, 1. Starting your essay with "I believe.." Starting a sentence with "My short-term goals are .." 2. Starting your essay with "Having worked as a..." 3. Not having ANY personal reference in ANY sentence of your essay. Personal reference means talking about a non-career focus. 4. CRYSTAL CLEAR by paragraph definition of "Past achievements, Short term goal, long term goal, Why MBA? Why now? Why this school?"

cpgmba · Answer

Great question, I'm in the same boat. For my first draft, I've tried to find a balance between the two. In my opinion I think it would be beneficial to let your personality through on all of the essays. Since AdCom usually read the goal essay first, they may not get to your #2 and #3 essays with more personality if the first one is too dry.

I'll be curious to hear some of the experts opinion on this.

I'll be curious to hear some of the experts opinion on this.

sterny · Answer

Any of the 08 applicants wanna share their thoughts?

kryzak · Answer

well, you're right in that the goals essays is probably the most serious of them all. But that doesn't mean you can't show a little bit of your personality.

With the goals essay, you have to answer a question (or a few questions) very specifically and it has to make logical sense. By the nature of listing your accomplishments, how you went from A to B, and what you want to do in the future, the essay will be more "business" like. What I did was to add an intro paragraph that brings the rest of my essay into perspective, and use 1 or 2 ending sentences to call back to that intro and link everything I said together.

As a rough example, I started with a quote from an entrepreneur friend of mine (since my goal was entrepreneurship), and how that quote had an impact on my self-discovery and decision to pursue an MBA. In the end, after all my experiences were summarized and my Why This School was answered, I went back and wrote a 1 sentence conclusion to show that I'm going to succeed as an entrepreneur because of all the things I've done, and that friend of mine helped nudge me on this path I'm taking to get my MBA.

There are many other ways to "add personality" to your essays, and I would strongly recommend you read some Montauk, MBA Game Plan, and Paul Bodine's sample essay books to see what style fits you the best. Harvard's 65 Successful Essays will also give you an idea of how to add personality, answer the question, and write a great essay, all in under 300 words.

Good luck y'all!

sudden · Answer

Out-of-box,

1. Imaginary introduction of a future event

I would probably leave this out, but it's conceivable that you could make it work. The problem with this is that it requires you to start  en media res  (in the middle of the action), which could cause the adcom to ask "Why is this relevant?" You want to avoid having someone read your essay, get confused, and feel like they need to reread it to contextualize your goals. They won't do that. To me, the safest and most effective way to go is to have your future goals / event be the logical conclusion of what you have done and are currently doing (i.e., your past and present condition that have already been laid out in the beginning sections of the essay). In other words, don't let the caboose drive the train.

2. Starting with a quotation or something someone said to you'

Some people don't like this because they think it's cliche, but it can be highly effective. I used an obscure (and relevant) quote to kick off my goals essay.

3. Anytime in the essay that you deliberately let go of grammar for style.'

Don't do this -- it makes it seem like you don't know grammar. This is a business school essay, not a creative writing class.

4. Humor. ANYWHERE in the goals essay

This could work if you are funny, but it's risky.

5. Description of a personal NON-career event...such as "my parents came to this country with no money..." or "while travelling in nicaragua, i discovered that climbing mountains ...."

I think this adds a lot if it's relevant and not whiny.

content-based-vanilla-but-well-researchedd essay,

1. Starting your essay with "I believe.."

NOOOO!!!!!! They know you believe it or you would not have written it.

1.a. Starting a sentence with "My short-term goals are .."

I recommend this to avoid confusion about what your goals are. It's okay to be very straightforward when guiding the reader to relevant issues.

2. Starting your essay with "Having worked as a..."

No. I'm already bored.

3. Not having ANY personal reference in ANY sentence of your essay. Personal reference means talking about a non-career focus.

It depends on what your career is, but it's reasonable. This can go either way.

4. CRYSTAL CLEAR by paragraph definition of "Past achievements, Short term goal, long term goal, Why MBA? Why now? Why this school?"

These items should be crystal clear no matter what.

cpgmba · Answer

I think it all depends upon you, the school your applying to, and your situation.

Me, I'm an extremely personal guy that loves life and has fun with everything I do. That's one reason I chose CPG marketing instead of MC or IB. It's important my personality comes through in the essays. I'll probably do less of this for HBS but more for Kellogg/Fuqua. Is it a risk? I don't think so, becaue it's who I am. Every current student I've talked to has said the most important part of the application is to be yourself.

MiamiMBA · Answer

Also, keep in mind that you may have a wide range of length requirements. For one school, I had a limit of 300 words for my goals-related essay. For another school, the limit was two pages, double spaced. Just keep that in mind while you're drafting or putting together an outline for the essay.

MBAbot · Answer

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The Goals Essay - How much personality?

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