Sajjad1994,
bbCould you please rate my essay? I found this topic in the forum with no discussions or evaluation. So, I posted here. If you need me to move my post elsewhere, just let me know.
https://gmatclub.com/forum/the-rating-s ... 32428.htmlThis is a rough draft and I had no time to revise, so posting as is with flaw in my writing (minor spelling corrections made before posting). I copied intro and summary from the Chineseburned template and it actually helped increase the word count. GMATAWA rated it 6, which obviously wasn't making sense to me. So, here I am asking for your opinion. Thank you!
"The rating system for electronic games is similar to the movie rating system in that it provides consumers with a quick reference so that they can determine if the subject matter and contents are appropriate. This electronic game rating system is not working because it is self regulated and the fines for violating the rating system are nominal. As a result an independent body should oversee the game industry and companies that knowingly violate the rating system should be prohibited from releasing a game for two years."
The argument claims that electronic games are not rated properly because the rating system is not utilized as it is intended to be used. This limits consumers’ ability to determine whether or not the content is appropriate. It also mentions that due to self regulation and minimal violation fee, unlike those of movie ratings, companies are not concerned about following the rating system. Therefore, it concludes that an independent body should review companies ratings and punish them for not following an arguable rating system. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. It fails to mention multiple key factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated and thus renders the argument unconvincing and serious flaws.
First, the argument does not clarify the basis of ratings, such as age or geographical location of users or similar demographics. Similar to the movie rating system (R, A, 18+ years only etc.), are categories even defined for companies to follow? The argument also mentions the system is self regulated. However, it does not clarify the extent of self regulation. Self regulation can enable companies to develop their unique method of rating. Each company’s ratings most likely will not be the same or even meet the unstated standards in absence of a uniform and universal rating system. Additionally, the argument assumes that the companies are solely responsible to create and follow game ratings. What if an independent regulatory body exists and is responsible to guide the companies to determine ratings?
Second, the argument provides a weak premise that due to the nominal violation fee the rating system is not being obeyed. As stated above, one of the reasons could be the lack of standard rating system instead. Even if we assume that a standard rating system exists, the argument does not provide evidence of how well defined the system is. Are the companies able to decode how the rating works? What is the basis of rating? Similarly there are many unstates facts that are unclear from the argument.
Furthermore, to make the argument somewhat logically viable, the independent body or seemingly regulatory body could develop a rating standard system for companies to follow. They can also review the ratings that a company gives to ensure ratings meet the intended criteria. The argument incorrectly assumes that the companies are violating the rules of rating system due to independence of self regulation and nominal violation fee. But it fails to account for factors stated above that makes this argument ill reasoned. It arrives at the conclusion without clarifying any assumption.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. It could possibly be strengthened if the author clearly mentioned all the relevant facts such as presence of a standard rating system or establishing a regulatory body and so on. In order to assess the merits of a certain situation/decision, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors. Without such information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to flawed conclusion.