Hi! If anyone could provide any quick feedback for the gmat essay I wrote, that would be much appreciated. Thank you!
"The computerized on-board warning system that will be installed in commercial airliners will virtually solve the problem of midair plane collisions. One plane's warning system can receive signals from another's transponder--a radio set that signals a plane's course--in order to determine the likelihood of a collision and recommend evasive action."
The daily newspaper argues that the installed computerized on-board warning systems will virtually solve the problem of midair plane collisions. However, this problematic for numerous reasons. The evidence suggested is weak and does not provide a convincing argument as to how it can effectively solve the problem of midair plane collisions.
Most tenuously, this argument is based on the assumption that all midair plane collisions come from an action that could have been evaded, namely from the pilot. If the way the airplane avoids midair plane collisions is through the recommended evasive action of the on-board warning system, it is, therefore, assuming that all of the collisions are the fault of the pilots. In that case, there would be no inexplicable accidents that happen simply due to the dangerous nature of flying. Therefore, the argument could be stronger if there was evidence included that displayed the statistics of how often midair plane collisions are caused by an action avoidable by the pilot. If the statistics show that those avoidable cases happen over fifty percent of the time, it would make the argument stronger.
Furthermore, the argument is not reasonable because it assumes that the plane itself has no technical issues. These issues may include the computerized warning system not working, issues with the engine, or any issues that may be unavoidable. If there was evidence included that showed that most of the crashes come from technical issues, the argument would be weakened. This is because the argument is based on the assumption that the computerized on-board system that will be installed in commercial airliners will work in all circumstances to solve the problem of midair plane collisions.
Finally, the argument is based on the assumption that the warning from the computerized system will present itself close enough to the potential accident that the pilot can take a course of action. If there was evidence that it only takes 30 seconds for a pilot to switch the course of a plane to avoid a collision, and the computerized warning system can detect a plane and signal it back to another transponder at least 2 minutes before a potential accident, it will support the argument. This evidence would thereby suggest that the computerized warning system will indeed be effective as pilots will be able to commit to an action that will save the plane from a crash, long before the crash begins.
In conclusion, after analyzing the reasoning and evidence presented, I have concluded that the argument that the warning system of the plane can virtually solve the problem of midair plane collisions is not persuasive as it is based on a number of rash assumptions. First, the argument is based on the assumption that all midair plane collisions come from an evadable action. Second, the argument is based on the assumption that the computerized system will always work, and lastly, the argument assumes that the timing between receiving a warning and taking action will be long enough for a pilot to avoid a collision. Overall, the argument could be strengthened with evidence that proves the effectiveness of the computerized on-board system in order to more confidently determine whether the warning systems can indeed solve the mid-air plane collisions.