Everything you need to know about MBA Essay Writing w/ e.g (MUST READ)

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How to write winning MBA essays (MUST READ) with real examples

1. Tone

Essays that truly shine are those that strike the right tone. Admission committees are eager to uncover the person behind the faceless application, and essays offer a medium for them to vicariously experience and genuinely connect with applicants. Robotic, pompous, bragging, or resume-like essays are swiftly rejected or reconsidered from the application's standpoint. To make your essays resonate, infuse them with humanity. This entails being vulnerable, although navigating this fine line carefully is essential. Instead of emphasizing your accomplishments or distinctions, showcase your motivation and passion. This approach defies the conventional notion of selling oneself like a resume. Essays that come across as sales pitches can be detrimental to your efforts.

Example 1 - The bold reds show weak points in the essay where the tone is not right- egoistical, bragging, determinative, resume-like, pompous, or selling. - Admitted to WashU, Babson after fixing.

Since my undergraduate days till this moment, I have persevered against all odds in my search for a better life and a higher standard of living. (/Self Centric and Generalised)

It is this drive and passion that led me to work as a senior associate for one of the fastest-growing firms in my country, even when the pay wasn’t that robust at the beginning, through the application of these values I have embraced, I was promoted within the shortest time of joining the firm because of the quality of my input and work.

I am so confident that coupled with my law background, I will be better positioned as a business strategist, business development manager and an entrepreneurial consultant at top-tier companies like McKinsey, Kpmg, Delotte, P&G, and other Fortune 500 Companies with my MBA from Olin School. Eventually, I hope to rise through the ranks in becoming one of the sought out CEO’s of a Global Business Unit with over $500 million in annual revenue and thousands of employees under its payroll.

I have worked on numerous assignments with diverse clients of the firms as both a senior associate and also a company secretary, advising them on international transactions and deals, drafting SPVs worth thousands of dollars, incorporating and trade marking of new ideas, innovations, and inventions of clients, resolving both corporate and individual compliance issues, dealing with clients' herculean legal challenges, and many other multi-national transactions. I am also a director of two successful registered businesses in my country and I also sit as a board member in a fast growing NGO whose specialty is providing welfare for the youths, women, internally displaced persons and the vulnerable in the society.

The structure should be -

These are my values-
I lived by my values in thsee circumstances

My short term and long term goals and why that matters and tie them to your values.
Why Babson and why you? and skills and connections you need to develop.

The cricket player looked up at me beamingly from his wheelchair. Thanks to the NeoFly sports wheelchair, he was able to play the sport and not only won numerous awards and was selected for the Indian national wheelchair cricket team. This inspiring young man showed me the human value of the investment I helped make: I had helped NeoFly secure start-up funding. This interaction made me realise that I want to go beyond consulting for social impact companies to one day start a company of my own. I dream to use technology and design to create products that help improve the lives of marginalised people

2. Values

In MBA essays, it is vital to comprehend and align with the distinct values of each school, as this greatly influences the writing process. For instance, WashU Olin values Respect, integrity, collaboration, and leadership, while Dartmouth Tuck focuses on personal, connected, and transformative values. Crafting your stories around one or more of these values that resonate with you the most is highly recommended. Admissions committees seek individuals who are the right fit for their institution, and by incorporating and reflecting these values in your essays, you increase your chances of admission. It also translates to the cultural fit between the school and the student.

Example 1 - Supply chain profile at Tech company, 319 GRE, 8 GPA, 2 years WE

I have grown up to respect others. Not only them but also to see things from different perspectives, to take on their shoes, to have empathy, understanding, and patience. These values have always guided me strongly in adverse times.

Example 2 - University of Massachusetts

Curiosity and my pursuit of it has always guided me in so many ways. This has stemmed other values along the way – Excellence, Leadership, and Integrity.
It is a relationship that has urged my mind to get outside of my comfort zone, explore and engage in new ideas, and be unabashedly experimental. The best thing that ever happened to me because of my innate Curiosity is that I developed an interest in computer science and technology. Through late-night binge-watching documentaries on the advancement of technology, I came to love technology. As I explored, I got introduced to the geeky but immensely important world of data. I get fascinated how businesses use data to gather business insight and then make business decisions.

Why Goizueta?: What are you looking to gain from the Goizueta MBA program and how do you see yourself contributing to the Goizueta community?

Goizueta’s vision of creating principled business leaders resonates with my post-MBA goals. The program is thoughtfully crafted to build core business concepts, develop leadership acumen and provide experiential learning opportunities, especially with the IMPACT module.

I was particularly impressed with the effectiveness of the small cohort and the diversity of concentrations available. I look forward to the concentrations of Strategy Consulting, Business Analytics, Operations Management, and Entrepreneurship which would give me the perfect tools to realize my aspirations.

Goizueta’s leadership focussed programs such as Delta Leadership Coaching and Leader’s Reaction course are unique to any other curriculum I have come across. Furthermore, On-the-job Shadowing opportunity that the Alumni Mentor program offers is a major attraction point of the program.

At Goizueta I aspire to bring my experience of scaling up companies in challenging markets and my ability in dealing with ambiguity, I also believe my extensive leadership experience will help me work collaboratively with my fellow peers and to be part of the student clubs and organizations within the business school. I plan to be part of the Management and Operations club and EmoryMAC, leverage the networking opportunities they provide and share my experience of Operations and Analytical problem solving with my peers. Lastly, inspired by Goizeuta’s ideals of Equity and Inclusion I plan to have a foundation aimed at financially supporting children of Tea Garden communities in India who struggle to turn their dreams into reality.

3. Depth

MBA admission committees prioritize applicants who have conducted thorough research to pursue the right-fit school. This is because schools aim to maximize student engagement while minimizing potential regrets, so they seek clues to determine if applicants truly understand the program they are pursuing.

a. Goals

supply chain function in the technology industry. Amazon’s Pathways program is a perfect fit for me after my MBA.

Capgemini’s recent innovation in technology to automate parts

leading with respect

executive position

autonomous supply chain utilizing emerging technologies

b. Introspection

“What matters most to you and why?”

Example 1 - admitted Duke, WashU

Example 2 -WashU

Examples of how you have lived by them…

c. Research

Example 1 - Poorly Researched Essay - poor profile stats - admitted University of New Haven

~~think~~

~~very prestigious and highly ranked~~

[*1]Think - is such a bad way to be putting your conviction.
[*2]Never talk about highly ranked and being prestigious as your deciding factor to go into the university - because then what’s the difference between this university and the right next best university - university is much more than just the ranking or the totem pole. They offer very different things and you should point out to them instead.

strategy curriculum

“Leading Disruptive Change” by Prof. Scott Anthony, whose book “Eat, Sleep, Innovate”

experiential learning courses like OnSite Global Consulting and the First-Year Project

Tuck Consulting Club

“Tuck spirit”

Niklas Wu (T’24)

how alumni from the class of 1990 reached out to congratulate and encourage the incoming class.

contribute to this tight-knit and collaborative community.

Example 3 - Well researched essay - Bold are brownie points for the essay.

An MBA from WashU is the right next step for me since it would bridge my gap in both business and communication skills. MBA would be a perfect nurturing ground for me to develop myself as a leader learning from professors and peers having diverse backgrounds, skills, and viewpoints. WashU’s global immersion program is unparalleled in building a sound business toolkit through consulting projects done in different geographic, economic, and cultural contexts; and this was reinforced in my conversation with …... The supply chain concentration would be beneficial to reach my goals. When I talked to …. who is also pursuing supply chain, I came to know about the Boeing Center and the practicum projects that I can be part of or lead as an ambassador, which would be a great opportunity to implement my classroom learning in real-life projects. Olin Supply Chain and Operations Association or Women in Business Club interests me the most to get involved with and contribute as a member and a leader in 2nd year. Women in Business would allow me to empower and bring in more women representation and discuss pressing social issues in an open platform. Lastly, I want to contribute as an alumnus by coming to teach a class or supporting other incoming students, and would love to call WashU home.

4. Writing style, Structure, Punctuation

No one likes crappy writing with grammatical and punctuation errors. This is an absolute killer when it comes to MBA essays. Impeccable writing style and punctuation are crucial for MBA essays, as they can make or break the overall impression. Avoiding typos, grammatical, structural, and punctuation errors should be the applicant's topmost priority. To achieve this, seeking assistance from MBA consultants or utilizing online writing tools is highly recommended. A valuable resource in this regard is "On Writing Well" by William Zinsser

I. When describing future hypothetical situations, it is recommended to use [b]"would" instead of "will". For example, instead of saying "In my second year of MBA, I will be heading the Operations Lab of the Action Learning Labs at MIT Sloan," it is more appropriate to say "I would be heading the Operations Lab of the Action Learning Labs at MIT Sloan."

II. "On Writing Well" provides valuable guidance on improving sentence structure. It advises against lengthy sentences that span 2-3 lines on a page. It encourages breaking down sentences for better comprehension, eliminating unnecessary clutter, and focusing on essential elements.

III. One common mistake made by Indian applicants is the lack of a clear essay structure. They often discuss multiple topics without establishing a solid thread for the reader to follow.

IV. Paragraphs play a crucial role in effective writing. They help organize thoughts and ideas, allowing for clearer communication and improved readability.

V. Tools to help you write better, concise, and effective sentences - Chatgpt and Grammarly

Example 1 - ISB essay - Admitted CMU, ISB, MSU, RICE

~~under-graduation degree~~

~~until convocation, I had some amazing projects and an international internship in my bucket.~~

my interest led me to some amazing My projects and an International internship. The projects made me believe that any

m

~~I aspire to be the CEO of my entrepreneurship.~~

During undergrad and even with my job, I got heavily involved with 3D printing and Computer Aided Designs, and developed working prototypes - 3D Chocolate printing, etc.

5. Storytelling

Storytelling is essential for crafting an essay that not only triumphs but also makes a lasting impression on the reader, who may be fatigued from encountering numerous essays featuring monotonous and mundane writing. To create impactful essays using storytelling, employ a simple framework: introduce an idea in the opening paragraph, delve into the intricacies of that idea while showcasing your strengths, expertise, experience, passion, and motivation, and conclude the essay by revisiting the initial idea, forming a satisfying narrative arc for the reader to follow.

Example 1 - Georgia Terry MBA -

Tell us about a time you created a positive impact, either personally or professionally. Describe the impact. Why was it significant to you or others?

Before:

I have always been passionate towards volunteering and social service. I have enrolled myself with several NGOs and social service organizations since my childhood. One such incident which will stay with me was my organization's CSR activity. Our event coordinator gathered some volunteers from different office campuses to conduct some events at a government school where the teaching staff was very low.

(Lacks connection, nudge to empathize, storytelling, Sentences starts with ‘I’ a lot, comes across as egotistical)

Growing up in a humble middle class Indian family I not only faced many challenges personally but also saw the plights of many underresourced communities. My family has went through a rough time after a devastating episode of draught in India. Over time, I have imbibed the value of empowering others to a better life. Thus, volunteering and social service have been a major part of my life. Helping and empowering others bring me immense joy. I have been involved in many NGOs and social service organizations since my childhood. One such incident which will stay with me was my organization's CSR activity. Our event coordinator gathered a few volunteers across office campuses to conduct an event at a government school where the teaching staff was inadequate.

Leadership in Business: Provide a specific example of your leadership and explain what you learned about yourself through the experience.

It was April 2020, India was going through the strictest lockdowns. Life and Business came to a standstill and we were looking at a month without a dime in revenue. Our CEO called upon the Regional leaders and asked us to explore ways to support our workforce of 100,000 warehouse personnel and Delivery agents. We knew they would be the worst affected by the crisis.

With all supply chains disrupted, the Government was looking out for partnerships with vendors to ensure the Supply Chain for essential goods was functional. Braving the dangers of contracting the virus we decided to move out and reached out to different district administrations of North East and got us onboarded as a Supply Chain partner. Over the next 10 days, we partnered with 50 Local Grocery companies and liaisoned with Government officials in chalking out the execution plan.

We arranged for special curfew passes for our ground staff. We also instituted special COVID insurance and benefits to cover anyone who was on the ground. From Zero revenue we were up to 40% of our Pre-COVID revenue within a month and within three months we were up at our Pre-COVID revenues. Our region was the first in our organization that recovered from the financial impact of the pandemic.

Lastly, these efforts also led to the launch of the Grocery Delivery product which today is one of the major revenue streams for our organization.

This experience taught me that necessity does not stop for anything. My family of 100,000 members needed the momentum to keep going, I feel I was humbly able to provide and support them. Secondly, I learned that there is opportunity even in adversity. We came with a solution to generate revenue which was extremely instrumental in pulling us to Pre-COVID revenues. Lastly, I learned that being a leader means holding the baton when the winds are rough. It’s only when I led from the front, braving the virus as I went from warehouse to warehouse infusing the courage and inspiration to go on, our delivery fleet became an army of go-getters.

I grew up all my childhood thinking I will someday end up playing cricket for my country until it hit me hard that there are millions of others dreaming of and working towards the same goal,As a family tradition we go to the Venkateshwara Swamy temple in Tirumala every year and the most accurate way to put the transition in my life and my goals in life would be to put together the things I have been praying for and asking the almighty to fulfill every year,There are two ways to go up the Tirumala hill either you go by your vehicle or you walk 10.5 kms which includes 3550 steps and we believe if you do the latter all your wishes will be fulfilled another tradition is your shave your head and if you do this your wishes will definitely be fulfilled I don’t remember the last time I went up the hill in a car but this year I also shaved my head I guess it just means as you get older things just get more difficult and you really start seeing life as it is or maybe the things I used to ask for earlier were just materialistic and it would just be a decision to be made by my parents it was nothing that had to happen magically,For my 17th Birthday I asked for a car now when I think about that it just sounds ludicrous this specific year I asked for the wellness and health of a family member but I also had another thing I wanted to ask for before I realised it was not something that is based on just a decision made by parents or anyone afterall,It was based on hundreds of decisions I should be making and leave no chance for error here I am talking about my new venture "Bhale Masala" in the last two years I have been working with ... which is my family business and the first 6 months of these two years were mostly just me learning how everything works and there were a lot of people to teach me how everything is done since my family has been in this business for over 25 years and we are one of the big players in this state,being the youngest person working in the firm my way of dealing with things and my way of problem solving were completely different and I must thank my undergraduate education and past working experiences I was definitely an asset for my company and only did good and no bad even after being given a very crucial and highly responsible role as a Supply chain and marketing manager I have always been a person who wants to be the leader and run things exactly as I want them to be all my life I knew I would do my own business and never work under someone but the day I decided I want to start my own brand and go directly into the market,Chances are if you eat pizza or make curry or anything to do with chilli’s my family business has something to do with this but still no one knows us coming back to the day I’ve decided to get into the market directly and reach the consumer the first thing in my head was should I work at another brand for a while to learn everything about starting my own brand and how to penetrate through the market but also I wanted to do something completely different I wanted to Introduce organic chilli powder through the Integrated pest management (IPM) method that the farmers working with us grow this was when I decided I need to go back to school! After doing a casual google search before strongly deciding on going to college I knew I had to and needed this when I came across the MSEI program at USC Marshall.

So the suggestion was to read this another essay -

In my current job role, though I get the exposure to interact with the stakeholders and get to know bits and pieces of the process and requirements, I am agnostic to the behind the scene business side of the process, and the pipeline of things that influences the decision-making. The business requirements or the big picture get lost by way of passing distilled information through the hierarchy. My past experiences and my current career led me to believe that an MBA is the right next step both professionally and personally. Getting involved and working to strategize and learn about the business processes excites me and I believe is a good fit for me. An MBA would help me have a broader perspective, structure thinking, and decision-making, which I want to implement in my post-MBA.

MBA would be crucial for me to develop the necessary business skills and gain a solid foundation in business subjects such as Finance, Accounting, Marketing, Analytics, and Strategy. I want to leverage these skills coupled with my experience as my career progresses.

I am excited to learn from my peers in the program as well as I believe I can enrich others’ perspectives through my experiences. During class 9, writing for a blind person’s exam, I got so humbled by the experience that when I have the privilege of eyesight while the other person lacks that, why take it for granted and I pursued personal excellence. This experience moved me to the core and made me grateful and ushered me to a new realm of things and changed the way I perceive the world forever. As my perspectives broadened, I started contributing and giving back to society and during college, One-stage initiative, we helped handicapped children perform on stage and raise money to give back to society. I lead with a sense of empathy and kindness and I believe my experiences and outlook would be a huge contribution to the IIT Delhi community.

During my job, I got to interact with many stakeholders. During college fest interacting and marketing, I got the opportunity to hone my interpersonal and communications skills and it made me confident of my cross-cultural communication. I believe my ability to adapt to different modes of conversation and presentation makes me a valuable addition to the class.

Give a candid description of yourself (who are you as a person), stressing the personal characteristics you feel to be your strengths and weaknesses and the main factors which have influenced your personal development, giving examples when necessary.

I am a determined person, my life as a sports-man has taught me specially that. I practice lots of sports and always have aimed to excel in these. As a kid, I was swimming national champion and then South- American and National Champion in Badminton, also I was named captain of the Peruvian junior national Badminton team.
I retired from my sport life in 2015 to pursue new challenges in my early professional career, I started my second undergraduate programme (parallelly to the first one) and a few months later, I got into my Internship which years after was going to become my first professional Job.
Currently I practice mostly Tennis, but I also do sporadically Badminton, Swimming and some outdoor Running.

One of my fondest memories from my childhood was the walk to my house from the practice center with my mother. On our way, my mother used to tell me all the great stories about how she became South American swimming champion and went to the olympic games of Los Angeles 1982 and the people that she met. Those stories filled my heart and inspired me to create my own. So the next day, I practised more, with a zeal only getting stronger day after day.

Quickly, I learnt that in order to be the best, I have to work harder than anyone. Hence, beside my training sessions in the pool, I trained on my own. My first gold medal when I was 8-year old was my first achievement, the satisfaction originated from it, developed in me a hunger for excellence that had pushed me ever since.

Thank you so much for reading my complete guide to MBA Essay Writing. I hope that was helpful. I wished there was something like this when I was applying and like many applicants was lost and directionless.

At https://mbanotion.com we help students to realize their fullest potential in business school applications with the utmost focus on customer and personalized storytelling. Please feel free to reach out to us at [email protected] or WhatsApp - +1(312) 900-4957. We are giving out 20% discounts on all services before Round 1 deadline 2023. Hope we could help you out!

- Satya
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