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This is absolutely classic. A profile of "Andrew", a second year analyst at a bulge bracket IB. Yes, this is serious - there is even a picture of him in the article.

From y'days NY Post. https://www.nypost.com/seven/04242007/en ... htm?page=0

THE INVESTMENT BANKER

Andrew, 24

Salary estimate: $190,000, including projected bonus

Job: We help companies raise capital and grow their business.

CLOTHES

Suit: Hickey Freeman suit, $2,749. "I have about 10 suits and usually buy them at Hickey Freeman and Paul Stuart. I have two really heavy pin-stripe suits that I'd classify as 'power suits.' Bankers never wear double-breasted suits, it's a fashion faux pas. I get all of my suits tailored in Rochester, N.Y. There is a Romanian couple that have been doing my father's suits for years. They are trusted in the family, and 10 times better than any of the tailors I've used in the city."

White shirt: "There's a saying in the banking world that you can never have too many blue suits or white shirts. I get mine from Hickey Freeman [$149-$249] as my standby, but I also shop at Charles Tyrwhitt [$99-$200], Thomas Pink [$149-$249] and Turnbull and Asser [over $250]. I get my white shirts heavy-starched."

Collar: "I always buy cutaway collars and French cuffs from the British stores (Tyrwhitt, Pink, Turnbull & Asser), and Barrel (button) cuffs from Hickey Freeman."

Watch: Breitling Navitimer, $5,299. "Bankers have a complex with having a watch. Far and beyond the most popular watch is a Rolex Submariner - black or white face, half bezel is blue. The Navitimer comes in a few different sizes and shapes."

Shoes: Ferragamo loafers, $395 at Saks Fifth Avenue. "The standard banker shoe is a fashion loafer or a tie cap toe."

Tie: Hickey Freeman tie, $125. "The two tie brands that embody the investment banker are Hermes and Salvatore Ferragamo. I don't wear a lot of Ferragamo because they tie small knots and are usually pastel - I like thicker knots and cutaway collars. Every now and then I'll pick up some pastels from Brooks Brothers. I've bought one or two Ferragamo ties from the outlet. But I buy most of my ties from Hickey Freeman. They retail anywhere from $98-$130."

TOOLS

PDA: A BlackBerry 8700c, it's gray with black trim. "I bought mine at the Cingular store in Midtown. At first, people are apprehensive and they think it's a virtual leash. Now I can't imagine life without it."

Red pen: "I keep a pen behind my ear at all times. I never used red pens before, now I always do - it stands out."

GROOMING

Shoe-shining: "I like to shine my own shoes. You can get a shine kit at any shoe retailer with brush, polish and cloth. But in an emergency, there are shoe-shiners walking around on our floor offering to shine our shoes [$5]."

TASTES

Cigars: "My favorite cigar is a CAO Brazilia, with Partagas Black Label coming in close behind. I buy most of my cigars at JR Cigar on 46th and Fifth. Sometimes I will buy from Barclay Rex on Lexington Avenue, and sometimes I order them by the box on Thompson Cigar online. I've been smoking cigars for four years now, it's even on my r├йsum├й. Liking cigars is a good talking point."

Red Bull: "Every two weeks I buy a 12-pack of sugar-free Red Bull. I have one before I get in the shower, and then I drink one on the way to work. I don't really drink coffee because it's a slow process. Redbull is portable and it gets you ready to embrace the day."

Blanton's: "The only alcohol I drink is Blanton's whiskey, Woodford Reserve (a small-batch bourbon) and Glenlivet 15-year (a single-malt scotch). There's a good liquor place on 86th Street between Broadway and Amsterdam that I go to every now and then."

Bar: "The bad side of the long hours. After six months, I noticed people started calling me less and less. Some of my friends and I go to Milk & Honey. It's really small and there are rules. Men can't approach women, you have to make reservations and they chip the ice into your drink. At the other end of the spectrum is Yogi's. They have $7 pitchers of Bud Ice. 'nuff said."

pelihu · Answer

I don't like Hickey Freeman suits. I prefer Armani, Zegna & Boss.

Thomas Pink shirts are awesome, I agree. I have rarely had need for nice shirts recently, but I haven't bought anything other thank Pink for at least 3-4 years. Definitely worth the money.

I actually thought Patek Philippe was the watch to have these days. The Omega Seamaster is a cheap alternative to the Submariner and looks pretty good.

I refuse to wear loafers.

Have never considered an Hermes tie, too chi chi for me. Actually, I don't think brand of tie matters much - certainly not as much as brand of suit, shoes or watch.

The JR Cigar on 46th is a great shop, but I rarely smoke cigars these days.

In San Francisco, I believe it is perfectly OK for bankers to drink wine, but in NY I think hard alcohol is appropriate.

This guy fits the NY Banker stereotype to a T. No wonder why bankers in NY are always complaining about not having enough money.

diegmat · Answer

YOU got in to DORSIA?

mbagal1 · Answer

First time I heard about Hickey Freeman was when I had to share a cab ride from the airport with one of their clothes designers in Rochester, NY (they have offices there), boy that guy must have thought I do not know anything about fashion/clothes to not know abt them..

....not that my clothes had not revealed that abt me anyway....

3underscore · Answer

Meh. Pink shirts aren't all that. I have had a fair few, have some now, but for plain shirts I wouldn't spend more than ┬г25 ($50). Plain white, herringbone - whatever, all double cuff, good collar. 

Pink do good patterned shirts but if you pay the money they ask for a plain shirt, you clearly have more money than sense.

diegmat · Answer

I was expecting this tool of a banker to be mocked much more by the GMATClub brethren тАУ not all bankers are like this. In fact, the average banker probably isnтАЩt like this. Granted, some are very caricatural.

londonluddite · Answer

Breitling watches are pants; the IB big wigs with no style wear Rolex Sub's, the fashionable ones wear omegas, JLC's, and panerai's. Personally i like the Omega Seamaster Pro :-D

johnnyx9 · Answer

Some more info on Andrew:

HAIRCUTS

I go to an exclusive spa in SoHo for weekly hair touch-ups. This is the only time during the week when my head isn't completely up my @ss. It's expensive, $400 plus tip, but it's worth it. The stylists there do a good job at maintaining the same style haircut that I've had since I was twelve. I think this look lets women know from clear across the club that I'm a complete d@uche-bag.

GOING OUT

My banker friends and I are considered VIPs at all of the exclusive clubs in town. What this means, is that if we each tip the bouncer three hundred dollars, he'll let us in the door. What can I say, it's good to be a respected man about town. We always get table service which runs about $500 a bottle, we always get Grey Goose because that lets the ladies know that we're desperate for their company and willing to trade vodka for whatever fleeting moments of social interaction they're willing to offer.

STAYING IN

When I'm not begging women to talk to me at Bungalow 8, I like to stay in and play Xbox360 or PlayStation. Sometimes I'll put on a pinstripe suit and pretend the people I'm killing in Halo are the managing directors and associates at my bank. They're always yelling at me and making me reprint pitchbooks because they don't like the fonts that I pick. I'll usually cap off the night by leafing through Maxim or Stuff. Some of the women in these magazines are so hot that I'll call up one of my bro's and say, "Dude, this chick in Maxim is sooo hot!" My friends, who are lonely mysogynists like me, all subscribe to Maxim too because that's where you'll find all the hot chicks.

3underscore · Answer

the impressive thing is that in his photo he looks more of a pompous dick than you would have expected from the text.

kidderek · Answer

hehehe

lepium · Answer

This guy reminds both of several characters in the film "Boiler Room" and one character in the 25th hour (Edward Norton's friend, the trader/banker who drank Red Bull and had a squish ball).

Geez, that's one life I wouldn't like!

L.

kidderek · Answer

Andrew needs to get on a gold plated diamond encrusted treadmill.

fluffydot · Answer

that guy in the picture looks like a sad muni banker... no wonder he buys all that nice stuff but still never gets laid. :wink:

eazyb81 · Answer

Wow, what a douche. 

Being forced to work side-by-side with guys like this is my #1 fear of working in IB.

MoonShine · Answer

I second that. The guy definitley comes off as a dbag.

diegmat · Answer

MUNI BANKER!!! Oh man, so good. Fighting hard for that Cincinnati School District business! 

Muni bankers never get any respect...

aaudetat · Answer

Late to this one, but can't help but chime in and say what an incredible lame-@ss.

ick. ick. ick.

I mean, I get that the article basically begged him to describe all the ways he's a pompuos douche, but good lord.

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