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02 Oct 2013, 09:54
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The inflow of immigrant workers into our community has put a downward pressure on wages. In fact, the average compensation of unskilled labor in our city has declined by nearly 10% over the past 5 years. Therefore, to protect our local economy, it is essential to impose a moratorium on further immigration.
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Author claims that inflow of immigrants into the community have put downward pressure on wages and states a fact that average compensation of unskilled labor has declined by 10% in past five years. He then concludes that in order to protect local economy it is essential to impose moratorium
on further immigration.
Firstly, the argument assumes, without any artifacts, the only cause for downward pressure on wages and hence the reduction in average compensation is inflow of immigrants. Author fails to take into account potential other reasons such as talent, working abilities, attitude that might be causing decrease in wages. May be over past five years labor general attitude towards work changed and that caused immigration spike and hence lowered labor wages.
Secondly, author fails to take into account hollistic data. He made conclusion based on average numbers. May be, prior to five years, there was labor highly paid however over the five years compensation have balanced and that impacted the average salary. This doesn't necessarily mean majority of labor salary is reduced over past five years.
Thirdly, in regards to author's conclusion, author fails to list other factors that might help in protecting local economy. He is only blaming flow of immigrants and completely ignoring other factors to protect the economy and moreover neglecting benefits to local economy from flow of immigrants. For example, immigrants coming to the community and working must be paying taxes, spending on day to day basis and in turn boosting economy in many other direct / indirect ways.
To conclude, author seems to not have overall picture and is lacking understanding of economy wherein he made conclusion and suggested ways to protect economy based on his limited data points, surrounding reduction in compensation of unskilled labor.
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Author claims that inflow of immigrants into the community have put downward pressure on wages and states a fact that average compensation of unskilled labor has declined by 10% in past five years. He then concludes that in order to protect local economy it is essential to impose moratorium
on further immigration.
Firstly, the argument assumes, without any artifacts, the only cause for downward pressure on wages and hence the reduction in average compensation is inflow of immigrants. Author fails to take into account potential other reasons such as talent, working abilities, attitude that might be causing decrease in wages. May be over past five years labor general attitude towards work changed and that caused immigration spike and hence lowered labor wages.
Secondly, author fails to take into account hollistic data. He made conclusion based on average numbers. May be, prior to five years, there was labor highly paid however over the five years compensation have balanced and that impacted the average salary. This doesn't necessarily mean majority of labor salary is reduced over past five years.
Thirdly, in regards to author's conclusion, author fails to list other factors that might help in protecting local economy. He is only blaming flow of immigrants and completely ignoring other factors to protect the economy and moreover neglecting benefits to local economy from flow of immigrants. For example, immigrants coming to the community and working must be paying taxes, spending on day to day basis and in turn boosting economy in many other direct / indirect ways.
To conclude, author seems to not have overall picture and is lacking understanding of economy wherein he made conclusion and suggested ways to protect economy based on his limited data points, surrounding reduction in compensation of unskilled labor.
03 Oct 2013, 13:14
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rohitsood16
Passage seems to strike some of the correct flaws and assumptions of the argument, but the language used is not upto mark. Though your para-structuring is alright, Sentence-ordering and structuring within a paragraph needs more refining. I would suggest you to kindly elaborate some of the important flaws that you picked and support your point with some Examples too. You seems to have content but your essay lacks the presentation. For me its- "3.0"
03 Oct 2013, 22:02
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Thanks Himang. Could you pls point where you see lack of examples?
