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17 Dec 2013, 14:44
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Hello,
This is my first login to the gmatclub forum. This is also my first attempt at issue task. I would greatly appreciate if I can get any feedback on my writing and how I could improve my scoring on the actual test.
Nations should pass laws to preserve any remaining wilderness areas in their natural state, even if these areas could be developed for economic gain.
Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.
Preserving wilderness in the natural state can help mankind create a better living environment for plants, animals, and many more species. By passing the laws to preserve the wilderness, we can leave the wilderness in its natural state and promote sustainable growth in our living environment.
I do agree that nations should pass laws to preserve any remaining wilderness areas in their natural state because natural wilderness can promote a clean and health living environment for generations to come. We need to preserve this wilderness not only to save hundreds on species who live in these environments, but also preserve them for our future generations to learn from the natural habitats.
Preserving natural wilderness also promotes the growth of natural environments like forests and trees. Nations around the world has proven that destroying these natural living environments can cause global warming and natural disasters like flooding and land slides.
There could be potential economic gains not by destroying this wilderness, but saving them may create economic growth by opening them for tourist’s attraction. Government can make strict policies and procedures to save the nature wilderness and also offer economic opportunities tourism and resort purpose.
Another reason there should be laws passed to preserve this wilderness because these environments provide a medium for educational experiments. I can’t imagine how a forestry student will learn about different plans and animals by just watching the videos online and reading the textbook.
Based on the above stated argument, it clearly shows that nations should pass laws to preserve wilderness areas in their natural state. By doing this we are creating a better living environment for today, tomorrow, and generations to come.
This is my first login to the gmatclub forum. This is also my first attempt at issue task. I would greatly appreciate if I can get any feedback on my writing and how I could improve my scoring on the actual test.
Nations should pass laws to preserve any remaining wilderness areas in their natural state, even if these areas could be developed for economic gain.
Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.
Preserving wilderness in the natural state can help mankind create a better living environment for plants, animals, and many more species. By passing the laws to preserve the wilderness, we can leave the wilderness in its natural state and promote sustainable growth in our living environment.
I do agree that nations should pass laws to preserve any remaining wilderness areas in their natural state because natural wilderness can promote a clean and health living environment for generations to come. We need to preserve this wilderness not only to save hundreds on species who live in these environments, but also preserve them for our future generations to learn from the natural habitats.
Preserving natural wilderness also promotes the growth of natural environments like forests and trees. Nations around the world has proven that destroying these natural living environments can cause global warming and natural disasters like flooding and land slides.
There could be potential economic gains not by destroying this wilderness, but saving them may create economic growth by opening them for tourist’s attraction. Government can make strict policies and procedures to save the nature wilderness and also offer economic opportunities tourism and resort purpose.
Another reason there should be laws passed to preserve this wilderness because these environments provide a medium for educational experiments. I can’t imagine how a forestry student will learn about different plans and animals by just watching the videos online and reading the textbook.
Based on the above stated argument, it clearly shows that nations should pass laws to preserve wilderness areas in their natural state. By doing this we are creating a better living environment for today, tomorrow, and generations to come.
26 Dec 2013, 11:36
Kudos
Bookmarks
Overall: 3
After reading your essay, I have a sense of your opinion and you did not commit too many grammar errors. Your style is generally easy to follow.
But you would need to include further detail to improve your essay. You don't provide much concrete support for your position, besides a few sentences. You should also work on this aspect of the prompt:
"...you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position."
Remember that they want to see your critical thinking skills and depth of reasoning in this essay. The more you can dive deeply into the topic, the better your score will be. Also, the more you can write on the topic the, the higher your score will be too.
I hope this helps.
After reading your essay, I have a sense of your opinion and you did not commit too many grammar errors. Your style is generally easy to follow.
But you would need to include further detail to improve your essay. You don't provide much concrete support for your position, besides a few sentences. You should also work on this aspect of the prompt:
"...you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position."
Remember that they want to see your critical thinking skills and depth of reasoning in this essay. The more you can dive deeply into the topic, the better your score will be. Also, the more you can write on the topic the, the higher your score will be too.
I hope this helps.
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