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08 Mar 2014, 03:02
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“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its twenty-fifth birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”
Citing the evidence that color film producing organizations could decline their costs of processing overtime, the argument claims that Olympic Foods can be anticipated to be able to decrease its processing costs. Although the argument may appear well-founded at a superficial level, a critical assessment indicates otherwise. Stated in this way, the argument fails to address several key factors, on basis of which its reasoning could be evaluated. Consequently, the conclusion relies on assumptions for which there is a paucity of evidence; hence, the argument is fallacious and ultimately unconvincing.
First, the argument readily assumes that since the costs of color film processing could be minimized, this decline can be true for other processing, such as food processing, as well. Nonetheless, the argument neglects this fact that when a principle exists in one particular procedure, it is not possible to be generalized and be applied to other procedures unless all relevant factors are evaluated. To illustrate, the argument overlooks this consideration that whether conditions of processing both food and color film are the same. For example, if there are some factors in food processing that are not available in color film processing, needless to say, the presence of such factors may not lead to minimizing costs. The argument could have been much clear if it had considered all factors of both food and color film processing methods.
Second, the argument claims the expenditures of processing go down since the organizations learn how to make products more effectively and efficiency, however, this claim is a stretch because the costs of processing involve both fixed and variable costs. As a result, even though an organization may gain this ability to decrease its fixed costs overtime, variable costs, such as staff salaries or primary goods prices, go up overtime, especially according to inflation rate. If the argument had determined what kind of costs could be declined by color film companies, the argument could have been much more convincing.
Finally, Does Olympic Foods implement all parts of food processing by itself or it outsources some parts to other companies? Have the costs of color film processing kept going down so far? Was the decrease of 3-by-5 inch print service cost due to only decline in its processing costs or other elements were involved? Without convincing answering to these questions, one is left with the impression that the claim is more a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the aforementioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. In order to assess the merits of the arguments, it is essential to have full knowledge of all relevant factors.
Citing the evidence that color film producing organizations could decline their costs of processing overtime, the argument claims that Olympic Foods can be anticipated to be able to decrease its processing costs. Although the argument may appear well-founded at a superficial level, a critical assessment indicates otherwise. Stated in this way, the argument fails to address several key factors, on basis of which its reasoning could be evaluated. Consequently, the conclusion relies on assumptions for which there is a paucity of evidence; hence, the argument is fallacious and ultimately unconvincing.
First, the argument readily assumes that since the costs of color film processing could be minimized, this decline can be true for other processing, such as food processing, as well. Nonetheless, the argument neglects this fact that when a principle exists in one particular procedure, it is not possible to be generalized and be applied to other procedures unless all relevant factors are evaluated. To illustrate, the argument overlooks this consideration that whether conditions of processing both food and color film are the same. For example, if there are some factors in food processing that are not available in color film processing, needless to say, the presence of such factors may not lead to minimizing costs. The argument could have been much clear if it had considered all factors of both food and color film processing methods.
Second, the argument claims the expenditures of processing go down since the organizations learn how to make products more effectively and efficiency, however, this claim is a stretch because the costs of processing involve both fixed and variable costs. As a result, even though an organization may gain this ability to decrease its fixed costs overtime, variable costs, such as staff salaries or primary goods prices, go up overtime, especially according to inflation rate. If the argument had determined what kind of costs could be declined by color film companies, the argument could have been much more convincing.
Finally, Does Olympic Foods implement all parts of food processing by itself or it outsources some parts to other companies? Have the costs of color film processing kept going down so far? Was the decrease of 3-by-5 inch print service cost due to only decline in its processing costs or other elements were involved? Without convincing answering to these questions, one is left with the impression that the claim is more a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the aforementioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. In order to assess the merits of the arguments, it is essential to have full knowledge of all relevant factors.
14 Mar 2014, 14:48
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Hi Hamidmax!
Happy to help!
Overall: 3
Positives: You seem to have a good handle on the major flaws in the argument. Your generally organize your essay well too.
Ways to Improve:
Aim to be clear, direct, and concise. Your first sentence is a good example of this. It is an awkward construction, packed full of info:
"Citing the evidence that color film producing organizations could decline their costs of processing overtime, the argument claims that Olympic Foods can be anticipated to be able to decrease its processing costs."
Shorten what you are trying to say: "Olympic Foods anticipates a decrease in processing costs based on evidence from the film processing industry."
Also it seems like you were rushed a little at the end and your final body paragraph suffers. Posing a lot of questions to be answered is not the same as critical analysis. I would strongly urge you to not pose questions unless you answer them immediately. It shows a lack of effort and work on the part of the author to just leave it up to the reader to come up with answers.
I hope this helps!
Happy to help!
Overall: 3
Positives: You seem to have a good handle on the major flaws in the argument. Your generally organize your essay well too.
Ways to Improve:
Aim to be clear, direct, and concise. Your first sentence is a good example of this. It is an awkward construction, packed full of info:
"Citing the evidence that color film producing organizations could decline their costs of processing overtime, the argument claims that Olympic Foods can be anticipated to be able to decrease its processing costs."
Shorten what you are trying to say: "Olympic Foods anticipates a decrease in processing costs based on evidence from the film processing industry."
Also it seems like you were rushed a little at the end and your final body paragraph suffers. Posing a lot of questions to be answered is not the same as critical analysis. I would strongly urge you to not pose questions unless you answer them immediately. It shows a lack of effort and work on the part of the author to just leave it up to the reader to come up with answers.
I hope this helps!
18 Mar 2014, 02:15
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KevinRocci
Dear Kevin,
Thank you so much for reading and evaluating my writing, that writing was my first writing for preparing AWA section of the exam.
I read your comment several times in order to grasp your recommendations well, however I have a few questions:
1- one of Manhattan books regarding to AWA& integrated reasoning suggests writing as much as we can, in other words, the book recommends making wordy and lengthy sentences (ex: more than 24 words per sentence) , however , you urged me to write shorter. would you please elaborate more.
I am not an English speaker, as a result I am not able to convey and express my meaning well and I have to write more in order to say my opinion in a better way.
2- the construction "citing.... the argument claims that...." was not created by myself, I saw it from some samples, although I agree with you that it is somehow awkward. I will never write it in that way. and for last parts of my writing I did not rush to finish it , in fact, I did not know what I had to write for conclusion. Later, I saw some examples and now I know how to finish it.
My questions is: will I get a 4 score,if instead of just asking some questions in my forth paragraph, I explain another flaw and support my idea? I mean you gave me score 3 and I want to know what may major problem is.
3- I live in an underdeveloped country and here we have no class for GMAT preparation and we also have no GMAT test center, so I have to travel another country to take the exam. So finding study materials is substantially difficult to me and I have nobody to give him or her to assess my writing. Is there a way I send you my writings ( once per week) and you evaluate them? I know how busy you are but since I`ll take the exam in next 3 weeks, I do not know what I have to do.
Regards,
Hamidmax
