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rizalmaulana
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It looks like you are responding to an Analysis of an Issue prompt. These are actually no longer part of the test!

Try your hand at an Analysis of an Argument essay (all the possible prompts are in the back of the current Official Guide) and post that. The Argument essay is basically a CR problem in essay form, and each of your body paragraphs should address a different flaw in the argument.

For now, I will mention that the spelling and grammar here is rough. In particular, you need to watch your usage of singular vs. plural. A few examples:

"this fact deteriorate" (should be deteriorates)
"the richness of digital tools limit" (should be richness . . . limits)
"People today demands" (should be demand)

Also, watch your spelling of "society" and its variants. The plural is "societies" and the possessive (which is what you are using in the first word of the essay) is "society's."
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