Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instr

Question

“Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The school dropout rate declined immediately, and last year’s graduates have reported some impressive achievements in college. In future budgets the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum.”

The argument states that the graduates reported some impressive achievements in college and also the school dropout rate declined immediately after Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. Further, argument recommends that the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum. Stated in this way, the argument failed to mention some key factors, based on which it can be evaluated. The conclusion of the argument depends on several assumptions, for which no clear evidence is provided. Hence, it is clearly weak and has several flaws.

Firstly, the argument claims that the school dropout rate declined immediately after it began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. It did not provide data about whether the college’ declined dropout rate was the outcome of said change or of some other unstated change. It may also be the case that last year college implemented some changes, which directly gave relaxation to some of the students who were to be droped out if those new changes were not implemented.
For example: may be, last year the dean of the college was changed and the new dean who took the power was humble and kind towards such students , as a result, the college dropout rate declined last year.

Secondly, the argument states that due to implementation of interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects, the last year’s graduates reported some impressive achievements in college. It does not provide the clear evidence that it was the interactive computer instruction, which lead the graduates to have some impressive achievements in college. It is quite possible that the graduates introduced some new habit in their routine and that habit led them to achieve some impressive achievements.
For example: graduates added some extra time to perform yoga/meditation or some sports in their daily routine. As a result, they had some impressive achievements in college.

Additionally, the argument recommends that school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and also all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum. It does not provide enough facts why other schools in district should adopt interactive computer instruction. May be, they are famous for their innovative teaching methods or they are famous for their practical knowledge, which they provide.
Further, Nova High School may has enough computers to teach its students. And there is no need to buy more computers. Perhaps, the need is to use the available sources.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons, and therefore is unconvincing. It can be strengthened, if all relevant facts were mentioned. In order to access the merits of some decision/data, it is necessary to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors. Without this, the argument is weak and is open to debate.

DisciplinedPrep · Answer

You sure have improved tremendously over the past few days. To be honest, essays such as this one will very well get a score between 5-6. However, I would caution you about Pronoun errors. Your paragraphs are filled with several Pronoun errors. For instance, demonstrative pronouns that and this must be modified in non-comparison sentences. In other words, this and that, when used in non-comparison sentences, must be followed by a noun or noun phrase. 
Incorrect: This is a good book
Correct: This book is good

Gurasees7777 · Answer

Hi Could someone please review the below. i am more worried about the assessments that I make, are they valid? If you can provide any time that'll be highly appreciated. Thanks!!

The argument claims that the use of interactive computer instruction led to a reduction in the dropout rate for Nova High School. The argument further claims that this also led to impressive achievements from last year’s graduates. Stated in this way the argument fails to mention several key factors based on which it could be evaluated. The conclusion that the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers and that all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instructions throughout the curriculum is premature as it is based on many assumptions for which no evidence is provided. Hence, the conclusion is weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.

First, the argument claims that school dropout rates have declined owing to the use of interactive computer instruction in three subjects. This statement is a stretch. Although, it is true that the school dropout rates have declined immediately after the use of interactive computer instructions, there is no evidence that the latter causes the former. The argument implies a cause-and-effect relationship between the use of interactive computer system and the school drop out rates but provides no evidence as to how the two are related. School dropout rates can decrease for a multitude of different reason other than the use of interactive computer instructions such as an increase in teaching quality, an increase in the quality of the subject being taught. Another factor could be an increase in the ratio of teachers per student thereby, giving every student more attention and care. The argument needs to provide us with information that all these factors have not changed over the time period mentioned in order to validate its claim.

Second, the argument doesn’t consider the importance of other factors that could lead to a reduction in the dropout rates and impressive achievements. If the reduction in the dropout rate was indeed caused due to an increased funding in improving the teaching quality, providing better infrastructure such as labs, or even by increasing the number of teachers to increase the teacher to student ratio, then redirecting these funds to buy more computers would not lead to a reduction in school dropout rates. The argument would have been much clearer if it provided more information on how the funds are currently being used.

Finally, the argument also mentions that last year’s graduates have reported some impressive achievements and highlights the use of interactive computer instruction in three subjects as the primary cause for it. Again, this statement is severely flawed. For starters the argument does not provide us with any cause-effect relationship between these statements. The argument also specifically mentions the use of computers in three subjects. Did only the use of computers in these three subjects lead to impressive achievements? Or was it the use of interactive computers in general? Without answers to these questions the argument seems to be based on wishful thinking rather than substantiated evidence.

In conclusion, the argument is severely flawed based on the above-mentioned reasons and therefore, unconvincing. In order to assess the merits of a decision it is important to consider the knowledge from all the contributing factors which this particular argument fails to do so

Sajjad1994 · Answer

AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5 
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 5/5  
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5 
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

TusharTandon · Answer

Sajjad1994

Hi Sajjad, could you please get the following essay graded.

Thanks

“Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The school dropout rate declined immediately, and last year’s graduates have reported some impressive achievements in college. In future budgets the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum.”

The author of the argument suggests that, Nova High School and all other schools in the district should gravitate towards adopting the use of interactive computer instruction throughout the academic curriculum. He arrives at this conclusion, based on the Nova High School’s experimental use of interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects, two years ago. The author links the use of computers towards the decline in school dropout rate and impressive achievement of last year’s graduates. Stated in this way, the argument manipulates facts and conveys a distorted view of the situation. The argument relies on assumptions, for which evidence is not provided. The argument is rather unconvincing, given the obvious flaws.

Firstly, the argument readily assumes that improved performance of students was in the same three subjects for which computers were used to provide instructions. This statement is a stretch and not substantiated in any way. The argument does not categorically provides any information about the subjects in which students performance improved. There could be a possibility that, students would have performed better in other subjects for which computers were not used. Hence, in the absence of such information the claims of the argument cannot be validated.

Additionally, the argument illogically establishes an assumption that, the use of interactive computer instruction is the only reason for reduced school dropout rates and improved students’ performance. There are other factors as well, which affect these parameters such as change in the content of academic curriculum, better quality of teachers imparting education in the schools, enhanced motivation of students etc. Unless, a detailed analysis of this phenomenon is done coupled with sharing of specific data, it not possible to identify the reasons for such improvements so that the same measures can be replicated in other schools as well.

Finally, the argument suggests a plan to introduce computer instruction throughout the academic curriculum and expand the allocation of funds towards purchasing computers. This statement is again weak and contains a lot of logical gaps. The argument does not provides any information about the feasibility of introducing computer instruction in other subjects. There could be a possibility that computer aided instruction might not be befitting for some subjects. Moreover, the argument does not considers the possibility that, a school has to judiciously use funds available to it in various other activities and if greater proportion of funds are allocated towards purchase of computers, then it might negatively impact other aspects of school’s administration which in turn can hamper the quality of education imparted to the students.

Thus, the argument has several glaring logical gaps. It started on a sound premise but lacked necessary data to strengthen its reasoning. If the argument had drawn upon the imperative data and analysis as suggested above and thereby plugged the holes in the reasoning, it would have been far sounder on the whole.

Sajjad1994 · Answer

AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5  
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5   
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5  
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instr

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