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temartemm
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Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains seve 21 May 2020, 02:08
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Hello, everyone,

I'm currently finalizing my GMAT preparation and wondering what score can one get with an essay like this.
Thank you in advance! Any critics appreciated

The following appeared in an article in a health and fitness magazine:
“Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. Residents of Saluda, the small town where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Even though Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health.”

The argument claims that drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water (SNSW) instead of tap water, even though the former may seem expensive, is a wise investment in good health. Three reasons offered in support of this conclusion: 1) SNSW contains several of the minerals necessary for good health; 2) it is completely free of bacteria; 3) residents of Saluda – the town where the water is bottled – are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Stated in this way, the argument fails to mention several important factors based on which it could be evaluated, manipulates facts, and conveys a distorted view of the situation. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no justification. Hence, the argument is unfounded and has several flaws.

First, the argument readily assumes that residents of Saluda, where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average because they drink Saluda Natural Spring Water. This statement is stretch because it fails to address the claim that the relatively low hospitalization rate of Saluda residents may be caused by other factors, such as the positive ecologic situation in the town, healthy diet of Saluda residents, or the average age lower than the national average. If the argument had stated evidence that those Saluda residents who drink Saluda Natural Spring Water are hospitalized less frequently than those town residents who do not drink it, then the argument would have been much more persuasive.

Second, the argument states that even the price of Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem high, drinking this water is a wise investment in good health. This is again a weak and unsupported claim as the argument fails to consider other available options. For example, it may be true that drinking tap water that was cleaned using special technics has the same impact on health as drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water and lower cost. The argument could have been much more credible if it explicitly stated that other drinking options in Saluda are less effective in maintaining good health that Saluda Natural Spring Water is.

Finally, the argument leaves one with open questions without convincing answers to which the claim seems more of wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence. Is Saluda the source of the SNSW or merely the place where SNSW is bottled? Is the absence of bacteria in Saluda Natural Spring Water beneficial for health? How significant is the difference between the hospitalization rate of Saluda residents and the national average rate?

In conclusion, the argument is not well reasoned for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. If the author had considered alternative explanations of relatively the low hospitalization rate of Saluda residents, examined the impact on health of other drinking options in Saluda, the argument could be considerably strengthened.
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Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains seve 23 May 2020, 20:58
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temartemm
Hello, everyone,

I'm currently finalizing my GMAT preparation and wondering what score can one get with an essay like this.
Thank you in advance! Any critics appreciated

The following appeared in an article in a health and fitness magazine:
“Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. Residents of Saluda, the small town where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Even though Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health.”

The argument claims that drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water (SNSW) instead of tap water, even though the former may seem expensive, is a wise investment in good health. Three reasons offered in support of this conclusion: 1) SNSW contains several of the minerals necessary for good health; 2) it is completely free of bacteria; 3) residents of Saluda – the town where the water is bottled – are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Stated in this way, the argument fails to mention several important factors based on which it could be evaluated, manipulates facts, and conveys a distorted view of the situation. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no justification. Hence, the argument is unfounded and has several flaws.

First, the argument readily assumes that residents of Saluda, where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average because they drink Saluda Natural Spring Water. This statement is stretch because it fails to address the claim that the relatively low hospitalization rate of Saluda residents may be caused by other factors, such as the positive ecologic situation in the town, healthy diet of Saluda residents, or the average age lower than the national average. If the argument had stated evidence that those Saluda residents who drink Saluda Natural Spring Water are hospitalized less frequently than those town residents who do not drink it, then the argument would have been much more persuasive.

Second, the argument states that even the price of Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem high, drinking this water is a wise investment in good health. This is again a weak and unsupported claim as the argument fails to consider other available options. For example, it may be true that drinking tap water that was cleaned using special technics has the same impact on health as drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water and lower cost. The argument could have been much more credible if it explicitly stated that other drinking options in Saluda are less effective in maintaining good health that Saluda Natural Spring Water is.

Finally, the argument leaves one with open questions without convincing answers to which the claim seems more of wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence. Is Saluda the source of the SNSW or merely the place where SNSW is bottled? Is the absence of bacteria in Saluda Natural Spring Water beneficial for health? How significant is the difference between the hospitalization rate of Saluda residents and the national average rate?

In conclusion, the argument is not well reasoned for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. If the author had considered alternative explanations of relatively the low hospitalization rate of Saluda residents, examined the impact on health of other drinking options in Saluda, the argument could be considerably strengthened.
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hope this link may help you with essay preparation
https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6 ... ml?fl=menu
best of luck
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Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains seve 03 Jun 2020, 12:04
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temartemm
Hello, everyone,

I'm currently finalizing my GMAT preparation and wondering what score can one get with an essay like this.
Thank you in advance! Any critics appreciated

The following appeared in an article in a health and fitness magazine:
“Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. Residents of Saluda, the small town where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Even though Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health.”

The argument claims that drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water (SNSW) instead of tap water, even though the former may seem expensive, is a wise investment in good health. Three reasons offered in support of this conclusion: 1) SNSW contains several of the minerals necessary for good health; 2) it is completely free of bacteria; 3) residents of Saluda – the town where the water is bottled – are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Stated in this way, the argument fails to mention several important factors based on which it could be evaluated, manipulates facts, and conveys a distorted view of the situation. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no justification. Hence, the argument is unfounded and has several flaws.

First, the argument readily assumes that residents of Saluda, where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average because they drink Saluda Natural Spring Water. This statement is stretch because it fails to address the claim that the relatively low hospitalization rate of Saluda residents may be caused by other factors, such as the positive ecologic situation in the town, healthy diet of Saluda residents, or the average age lower than the national average. If the argument had stated evidence that those Saluda residents who drink Saluda Natural Spring Water are hospitalized less frequently than those town residents who do not drink it, then the argument would have been much more persuasive.

Second, the argument states that even the price of Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem high, drinking this water is a wise investment in good health. This is again a weak and unsupported claim as the argument fails to consider other available options. For example, it may be true that drinking tap water that was cleaned using special technics has the same impact on health as drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water and lower cost. The argument could have been much more credible if it explicitly stated that other drinking options in Saluda are less effective in maintaining good health that Saluda Natural Spring Water is.

Finally, the argument leaves one with open questions without convincing answers to which the claim seems more of wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence. Is Saluda the source of the SNSW or merely the place where SNSW is bottled? Is the absence of bacteria in Saluda Natural Spring Water beneficial for health? How significant is the difference between the hospitalization rate of Saluda residents and the national average rate?

In conclusion, the argument is not well reasoned for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. If the author had considered alternative explanations of relatively the low hospitalization rate of Saluda residents, examined the impact on health of other drinking options in Saluda, the argument could be considerably strengthened.
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You may get 4-5/6 on this AWA.
You should not only weaken the argument but also strengthen/ evaluate the argument and find the flaws in it.
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Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains seve 03 Jun 2020, 12:09
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I have read your passage and i genuinely feel 5/6 is a good score for this AWA

Posted from my mobile device
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manpreet0511
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Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains seve 10 Feb 2022, 01:30
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Can anyone evaluate my AWA?


As part of an article in a fitness-and-health magazine, argument opines that drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water instead of tap water, although expensive, is a wise investment in good health. In order to bolster its claim, argument cites laboratory studies that show that Saluda Natural Spring water contains several of minerals beneficial for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. However, because of several reasons discussed in subsequent paragraphs, argument offers dubious support for its claim.

First, argument fails to provide any reason for less frequent hospitalization at Saluda than the national average. Certainly drinking clean water will cause less frequent hospitalization than drinking polluted water, but there are other factors also that can account for lower hospitalization at Saluda. One such factor could be that because it is a small town, its residents are leading a peaceful life in a pollution free environment, and, thus, are on average healthier than others. On the contrary, people residing in large, more polluted, metropolitan cities suffer from major ailments, such as asthma, cardiac disorders, cancer, etc., which need frequent hospitalization and drinking Saluda Natural water will not make much difference in health of these people. Hence, argument's conclusion is not valid.

Second, argument unwarrantedly assumes that since Saluda Natural spring water is completely free of bacteria, drinking Saluda Natural Spring water will ensure good health. This is an invalid assumption. What if Saluda Natural Spring water contains other harmful pathogens in large concentration, even though it is free from bacteria. In such scenario, drinking Saluda Natural Spring water will have ill-effects on health and will definitely not be a wise investment in good health.

Third, argument, while asserting that drinking Saluda Natural water instead of tap water is a wise investment, ignores that these minerals can also be introduced through other means, such as diet changes, supplements, artificial processing of tap water, etc., that could be cheaper than drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water. Since argument overlooks these possibilities, it seems that argument's conclusion is merely an overstatement.


In summary, argument is neither sound nor persuasive and is substantially flawed. Argument fails to convey any compelling reason to drink Saluda Natural spring water instead of tap water.
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Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains seve 10 Feb 2022, 08:59
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AWA Score: 4.5 - 5 out of 6

I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 3.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

manpreet0511
Can anyone evaluate my AWA?

As part of an article in a fitness-and-health magazine, argument opines that drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water instead of tap water, although expensive, is a wise investment in good health. In order to bolster its claim, argument cites laboratory studies that show that Saluda Natural Spring water contains several of minerals beneficial for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. However, because of several reasons discussed in subsequent paragraphs, argument offers dubious support for its claim.

First, argument fails to provide any reason for less frequent hospitalization at Saluda than the national average. Certainly drinking clean water will cause less frequent hospitalization than drinking polluted water, but there are other factors also that can account for lower hospitalization at Saluda. One such factor could be that because it is a small town, its residents are leading a peaceful life in a pollution free environment, and, thus, are on average healthier than others. On the contrary, people residing in large, more polluted, metropolitan cities suffer from major ailments, such as asthma, cardiac disorders, cancer, etc., which need frequent hospitalization and drinking Saluda Natural water will not make much difference in health of these people. Hence, argument's conclusion is not valid.

Second, argument unwarrantedly assumes that since Saluda Natural spring water is completely free of bacteria, drinking Saluda Natural Spring water will ensure good health. This is an invalid assumption. What if Saluda Natural Spring water contains other harmful pathogens in large concentration, even though it is free from bacteria. In such scenario, drinking Saluda Natural Spring water will have ill-effects on health and will definitely not be a wise investment in good health.

Third, argument, while asserting that drinking Saluda Natural water instead of tap water is a wise investment, ignores that these minerals can also be introduced through other means, such as diet changes, supplements, artificial processing of tap water, etc., that could be cheaper than drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water. Since argument overlooks these possibilities, it seems that argument's conclusion is merely an overstatement.


In summary, argument is neither sound nor persuasive and is substantially flawed. Argument fails to convey any compelling reason to drink Saluda Natural spring water instead of tap water.
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