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20 Jul 2021, 00:20
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The following appeared as part of an editorial in the Waymarsh city newspaper:
“Last year the parents of first graders in our school district expressed satisfaction with the reading skills their children developed but complained strongly about their children’s math skills. To remedy this serious problem and improve our district’s elementary education, everyone in the teacher-training program at Waymarsh University should be required to take more courses in mathematics.”
The argument claims that because the parents of first graders believe that their children are lacking in math skills, all the teachers in the teacher-training program at Waymarsh University should be required to take more courses in mathematics. Stated in this way, the argument manipulates facts and conveys a distorted view of the situation. It also fails to mention several key factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated. Therefore the argument is unconvincing and falls apart at the seams.
First, the argument readily assumes that first graders must have adequate math skills. This statement is a stretch and lacks conclusive edivence to support the same. The argument mentions that while the parents of such first-graders are satisfied with their children's reading skills, they complained "strongly" about their children's math skills. Had the author mentioned more details about the focus areas of teachers in the first-grade when it comes to teaching, the argument would have been much more convincing. For instance, if teachers are spending 90 percent of their time teaching first-graders how to speak and write, then of course the children's math skills will not yet be strong.
Second, the argument claims that to remedy such problem, all the teachers at Waymarsh University should be required to take more courses in mathematics. This is again a very weak and unconvincing statement as the argument does not demonstrate any correlation between the teachers knowledge of mathematics and the first-grade mathematics syllabus. If the syllabus itself only has a very brief introduction to mathematics, then no matter how many courses any teacher takes in mathematics, the situation will remain the same. Had the argument instead stated that the teachers were to go over the first-grade syllabus for mathematics and make any required changes, the argument would have been much more sound.
Finally, the argument concludes by stating that to improve the entire district's elementary education, all the teachers at Waymarsh University were to take more courses in mathematics. However, the author fails to take into consideration the possible private elementary schools in the district other than Waymarsh University. Even if we believe for a second that the courses will improve the teachers mathematics knowledge, thus improving the students mathematics skills, what about the children who attend private elementary schools? For example, if over 50 percent of the parents in Waymarsh were sending their children to private schools, the problem will still hold. The argument would have been much clearer had it explicitly stated that all first-grade teachers in the district were to undergo such training rather than only the teachers at Waymarsh University.
In summary, the argument fails to convince because of the faulty assumptions aforementioned. If the argument had drawn upon examples as suggested, and thereby plugged in the holes in the reasoning, it would have been far sounder on the whole.
“Last year the parents of first graders in our school district expressed satisfaction with the reading skills their children developed but complained strongly about their children’s math skills. To remedy this serious problem and improve our district’s elementary education, everyone in the teacher-training program at Waymarsh University should be required to take more courses in mathematics.”
The argument claims that because the parents of first graders believe that their children are lacking in math skills, all the teachers in the teacher-training program at Waymarsh University should be required to take more courses in mathematics. Stated in this way, the argument manipulates facts and conveys a distorted view of the situation. It also fails to mention several key factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated. Therefore the argument is unconvincing and falls apart at the seams.
First, the argument readily assumes that first graders must have adequate math skills. This statement is a stretch and lacks conclusive edivence to support the same. The argument mentions that while the parents of such first-graders are satisfied with their children's reading skills, they complained "strongly" about their children's math skills. Had the author mentioned more details about the focus areas of teachers in the first-grade when it comes to teaching, the argument would have been much more convincing. For instance, if teachers are spending 90 percent of their time teaching first-graders how to speak and write, then of course the children's math skills will not yet be strong.
Second, the argument claims that to remedy such problem, all the teachers at Waymarsh University should be required to take more courses in mathematics. This is again a very weak and unconvincing statement as the argument does not demonstrate any correlation between the teachers knowledge of mathematics and the first-grade mathematics syllabus. If the syllabus itself only has a very brief introduction to mathematics, then no matter how many courses any teacher takes in mathematics, the situation will remain the same. Had the argument instead stated that the teachers were to go over the first-grade syllabus for mathematics and make any required changes, the argument would have been much more sound.
Finally, the argument concludes by stating that to improve the entire district's elementary education, all the teachers at Waymarsh University were to take more courses in mathematics. However, the author fails to take into consideration the possible private elementary schools in the district other than Waymarsh University. Even if we believe for a second that the courses will improve the teachers mathematics knowledge, thus improving the students mathematics skills, what about the children who attend private elementary schools? For example, if over 50 percent of the parents in Waymarsh were sending their children to private schools, the problem will still hold. The argument would have been much clearer had it explicitly stated that all first-grade teachers in the district were to undergo such training rather than only the teachers at Waymarsh University.
In summary, the argument fails to convince because of the faulty assumptions aforementioned. If the argument had drawn upon examples as suggested, and thereby plugged in the holes in the reasoning, it would have been far sounder on the whole.
20 Jul 2021, 01:04
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AWA Score: 6 out of 6!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
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Chandni93
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