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26 Feb 2023, 18:02
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Please help review my AWA. Thanks!
Prompt:
The following appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine:
“On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
Essay:
The argument claims that department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during a period in which the middle-aged population is expected to increase dramatically because middle-aged consumers dedicate 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services while younger consumers only dedicate about 25 perecent of their’s. The argument also suggests that it would be beneficial for department stores to replace products that attract younger consumers with products that attract middle-aged consumers in order to take advantage of the expected rise in the middle-aged population. The argument is however unconvincing and is riddled with several flaws because it relies on several unsupported assumptions and fails to consider other factors that are necessary to evalute the conclusion of the argument.
First, the argument fails to provide evidence that the middle-aged population will increase dramatically in the next decade. Even if the argument provided such evidence, it is also flawed because it draws a weak relationship between the population of middle-aged consumers and the sales of department stores, suggesting that an increase in the middle-aged population will promote department store sales. Several factors can affect the sales of department stores besides population. For instance even if the middle-aged population were to increase, there could be economic stagnation that could reduce department store sales. There could also be a shift in consumption patterns in which middle-aged consumers reduce their retail expenditure in department stores. Factors such as the aforementioned ones could hamper department store sales despite the increase in population of middle-aged consumers. The argument could have been much clearer if it showed that there is a strong relationship between the middle-aged population size and retail sales by using historical data or convincing predications based on sound data models.
Second, the argument is flawed because it claims that department stores should replace items for young consumers with items for middle-aged consumers because middle-aged consumers spend a greater percentage of their retail expenditure than do younger consumers coupled with the expected increase in middle-aged population. This is a weak claim because the argument offers no insight on the change in the population of the younger consumers. If the younger population increases dramatically as well and at a rate much higher than the population increase of middle-aged consumers, it is likely that there would increased demand of products that attract younger consumers. Removing such products could reduce department store sales as well as prevent the stores from capturing sales that could arise from increased demand. Furthermore, the argument fails to consider whether expenditure of middle-aged consumers in department stores consists of expenditure towards products that are meant to attract younger consumers. This could arise if many middle-aged consumers have young dependents for whom they purchase the products that are meant to attract younger consumers. Hence, by replacing products for younger consumers with products for middle-aged consumers, the department stores may hamper their sales. If the argument provided evidence that the population of younger consumers would reduce and that products that middle-aged consumers purchase do not include products for younger consumers, it would have been more convinving.
In conclusion, this argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvinving. In order to assess the validity of the claims and suggestions of the argument it is essential for the argument to provide information about other factors that could affect the sales of department stores besides population of consumer groups. However, because the argument fails to offer such information, it is flawed and open to debate.
Prompt:
The following appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine:
“On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
Essay:
The argument claims that department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during a period in which the middle-aged population is expected to increase dramatically because middle-aged consumers dedicate 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services while younger consumers only dedicate about 25 perecent of their’s. The argument also suggests that it would be beneficial for department stores to replace products that attract younger consumers with products that attract middle-aged consumers in order to take advantage of the expected rise in the middle-aged population. The argument is however unconvincing and is riddled with several flaws because it relies on several unsupported assumptions and fails to consider other factors that are necessary to evalute the conclusion of the argument.
First, the argument fails to provide evidence that the middle-aged population will increase dramatically in the next decade. Even if the argument provided such evidence, it is also flawed because it draws a weak relationship between the population of middle-aged consumers and the sales of department stores, suggesting that an increase in the middle-aged population will promote department store sales. Several factors can affect the sales of department stores besides population. For instance even if the middle-aged population were to increase, there could be economic stagnation that could reduce department store sales. There could also be a shift in consumption patterns in which middle-aged consumers reduce their retail expenditure in department stores. Factors such as the aforementioned ones could hamper department store sales despite the increase in population of middle-aged consumers. The argument could have been much clearer if it showed that there is a strong relationship between the middle-aged population size and retail sales by using historical data or convincing predications based on sound data models.
Second, the argument is flawed because it claims that department stores should replace items for young consumers with items for middle-aged consumers because middle-aged consumers spend a greater percentage of their retail expenditure than do younger consumers coupled with the expected increase in middle-aged population. This is a weak claim because the argument offers no insight on the change in the population of the younger consumers. If the younger population increases dramatically as well and at a rate much higher than the population increase of middle-aged consumers, it is likely that there would increased demand of products that attract younger consumers. Removing such products could reduce department store sales as well as prevent the stores from capturing sales that could arise from increased demand. Furthermore, the argument fails to consider whether expenditure of middle-aged consumers in department stores consists of expenditure towards products that are meant to attract younger consumers. This could arise if many middle-aged consumers have young dependents for whom they purchase the products that are meant to attract younger consumers. Hence, by replacing products for younger consumers with products for middle-aged consumers, the department stores may hamper their sales. If the argument provided evidence that the population of younger consumers would reduce and that products that middle-aged consumers purchase do not include products for younger consumers, it would have been more convinving.
In conclusion, this argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvinving. In order to assess the validity of the claims and suggestions of the argument it is essential for the argument to provide information about other factors that could affect the sales of department stores besides population of consumer groups. However, because the argument fails to offer such information, it is flawed and open to debate.
27 Feb 2023, 00:32
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AWA Score: 5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 3.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 3.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
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