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29 Mar 2023, 13:14
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Hello, can you please evaluate my essay?
The following appeared as part of a recommendation by one of the directors of the Beta Company:
“The Alpha Company has just reduced its workforce by laying off 15 percent of its employees in all divisions and at all levels, and it is encouraging early retirement for other employees. As you know, the Beta Company manufactures some products similar to Alpha’s, but our profits have fallen over the last few years. To improve Beta’s competitive position, we should try to hire a significant number of Alpha’s former workers, since these experienced workers can provide valuable information about Alpha’s successful methods, will require little training, and will be particularly motivated to compete against Alpha.” Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
essay:
One of the directors of the Beta Company mentioned that the Alpha Company, which manufactures some similar products to Beta’s, has just reduced its workforce. He or she also added that the Beta company’s profits have fallen over the last few years. Thus, in order to improve Beta’s competitive position in the industry, the director recommended hiring a significant number of Alpha’s former workers. He or she believes that their experience may provide the Beta Company with valuable information about their rival’s successful methods and overall they will be motivated to compete against their former employer. Unfortunately, the aforementioned conclusion is unsustained and dubious. The incorrect and doubtful reasoning of the author’s claim will be illustrated in the following essay.
Firstly, one of the directors of the Beta Company believes that hiring former Alpha’s workers would be a successful move toward increasing Beta’s position in the industry. Nevertheless, this argument seems to be flawed as employees are obliged to keep a secret about the confidential information regarding its former employer. Hence, it is unlikely that former workers of Alpha’s will provide valuable information about its successful methods and management. Former employees cannot reveal this kind of significant data. Additionally, this move of Beta’s Company could be perceived as unprofessional and consequently, has a negative impact on Beta’s image among other competitive companies.
Secondly, even though Beta may manufacture similar products to those of Alpha’s, it does not mean that Alpha’s method would be successful for Beta as well. For instance, Alpha’s target customers may be slightly different than Beta’s and this certain difference might contribute to the failure of the author’s plan. Thus, again this is a very weak argument, without any support.
Furthermore, the author’s plan is about to fail at the very beginning as he or she states that employees of Alpha’s will be motivated to compete against their former employer. Hence, it is assumed that they are unloyal to their former employer, so one question is begged to be asked. Do Beta’s really want to hire that kind of workers?
In conclusion, the author of the recommendation makes several unjustified assumptions and fails to provide any evidence to support them. Furthermore, there are some certain flaws in the logical reasoning of the argument. As a result, the argument is unsustained and thus, unconvincing.
Thank you in advance
Kindest regards
The following appeared as part of a recommendation by one of the directors of the Beta Company:
“The Alpha Company has just reduced its workforce by laying off 15 percent of its employees in all divisions and at all levels, and it is encouraging early retirement for other employees. As you know, the Beta Company manufactures some products similar to Alpha’s, but our profits have fallen over the last few years. To improve Beta’s competitive position, we should try to hire a significant number of Alpha’s former workers, since these experienced workers can provide valuable information about Alpha’s successful methods, will require little training, and will be particularly motivated to compete against Alpha.” Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
essay:
One of the directors of the Beta Company mentioned that the Alpha Company, which manufactures some similar products to Beta’s, has just reduced its workforce. He or she also added that the Beta company’s profits have fallen over the last few years. Thus, in order to improve Beta’s competitive position in the industry, the director recommended hiring a significant number of Alpha’s former workers. He or she believes that their experience may provide the Beta Company with valuable information about their rival’s successful methods and overall they will be motivated to compete against their former employer. Unfortunately, the aforementioned conclusion is unsustained and dubious. The incorrect and doubtful reasoning of the author’s claim will be illustrated in the following essay.
Firstly, one of the directors of the Beta Company believes that hiring former Alpha’s workers would be a successful move toward increasing Beta’s position in the industry. Nevertheless, this argument seems to be flawed as employees are obliged to keep a secret about the confidential information regarding its former employer. Hence, it is unlikely that former workers of Alpha’s will provide valuable information about its successful methods and management. Former employees cannot reveal this kind of significant data. Additionally, this move of Beta’s Company could be perceived as unprofessional and consequently, has a negative impact on Beta’s image among other competitive companies.
Secondly, even though Beta may manufacture similar products to those of Alpha’s, it does not mean that Alpha’s method would be successful for Beta as well. For instance, Alpha’s target customers may be slightly different than Beta’s and this certain difference might contribute to the failure of the author’s plan. Thus, again this is a very weak argument, without any support.
Furthermore, the author’s plan is about to fail at the very beginning as he or she states that employees of Alpha’s will be motivated to compete against their former employer. Hence, it is assumed that they are unloyal to their former employer, so one question is begged to be asked. Do Beta’s really want to hire that kind of workers?
In conclusion, the author of the recommendation makes several unjustified assumptions and fails to provide any evidence to support them. Furthermore, there are some certain flaws in the logical reasoning of the argument. As a result, the argument is unsustained and thus, unconvincing.
Thank you in advance
Kindest regards
29 Mar 2023, 14:09
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Hello testaker0203
Welcome to GMAT Club!
Welcome to GMAT Club!
AWA Score: 4.5 - 5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 5.0
The essay is coherent and the ideas are logically connected. The author uses transitional words and phrases to guide the reader from one point to another.
Anatomy: 4.0
The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the conclusion could be stronger by summarizing the main points and providing a final thought.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.0
The paragraphs are well-organized, with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. However, some of the paragraphs could be longer and provide more supporting evidence.
Language and Grammar: 5.0
The language and grammar are good, with only a few minor errors in spelling, punctuation, and sentence structure.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5.0
The vocabulary and word expression are appropriate for the task and the arguments are expressed clearly and concisely.
Coherence and connectivity: 5.0
The essay is coherent and the ideas are logically connected. The author uses transitional words and phrases to guide the reader from one point to another.
Anatomy: 4.0
The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the conclusion could be stronger by summarizing the main points and providing a final thought.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.0
The paragraphs are well-organized, with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. However, some of the paragraphs could be longer and provide more supporting evidence.
Language and Grammar: 5.0
The language and grammar are good, with only a few minor errors in spelling, punctuation, and sentence structure.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5.0
The vocabulary and word expression are appropriate for the task and the arguments are expressed clearly and concisely.
testaker0203
Moderator:
