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16 Sep 2023, 03:33
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The following appeared as part of an article in the education section of a Waymarsh City newspaper.
“Throughout the last two decades, those who earned graduate degrees found it very difficult to get jobs teaching their academic specialties at the college level. Those with graduate degrees from Waymarsh University had an especially hard time finding such jobs. But better times are coming in the next decade for all academic job seekers, including those from Waymarsh. Demographic trends indicate that an increasing number of people will be reaching college age over the next ten years; consequently, we can expect that the job market will improve dramatically for people seeking college-level teaching positions in their fields.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.
The argument claims that the job market will improve for individuals searching for teaching positions in their respective fields, the claim of the argument is based on the premise that there will be a higher number of people reaching college going age overcoming ten years. The assumptions on which the argument depends have no clear evidence and are flawed.
First, the argument readily assumes that when people reach college going age they would join a college/ university. However, the author fails to consider other factors such as : individuals would join their family business or would join entry-level jobs owing to unavailability of financial resources.
Second, say college admissions would increase, this would increase the requirement for teaching faculty while it might not be true for all as demand for only certain subject faculty would increase or in order to cut the cost universities/colleges would ask the existing staff to handle more responsibilities and teach multiple subjects.
In conclusion, without clear information the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate. In order to strengthen it, the author is required to mention whether the increase in age of individuals would increase the number of admissions and demand for varied subject teaching faculty.
“Throughout the last two decades, those who earned graduate degrees found it very difficult to get jobs teaching their academic specialties at the college level. Those with graduate degrees from Waymarsh University had an especially hard time finding such jobs. But better times are coming in the next decade for all academic job seekers, including those from Waymarsh. Demographic trends indicate that an increasing number of people will be reaching college age over the next ten years; consequently, we can expect that the job market will improve dramatically for people seeking college-level teaching positions in their fields.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.
The argument claims that the job market will improve for individuals searching for teaching positions in their respective fields, the claim of the argument is based on the premise that there will be a higher number of people reaching college going age overcoming ten years. The assumptions on which the argument depends have no clear evidence and are flawed.
First, the argument readily assumes that when people reach college going age they would join a college/ university. However, the author fails to consider other factors such as : individuals would join their family business or would join entry-level jobs owing to unavailability of financial resources.
Second, say college admissions would increase, this would increase the requirement for teaching faculty while it might not be true for all as demand for only certain subject faculty would increase or in order to cut the cost universities/colleges would ask the existing staff to handle more responsibilities and teach multiple subjects.
In conclusion, without clear information the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate. In order to strengthen it, the author is required to mention whether the increase in age of individuals would increase the number of admissions and demand for varied subject teaching faculty.
16 Sep 2023, 12:27
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AWA Score: 4.5 - 5 out of 6
Coherence and Connectivity: 5/6
The essay demonstrates good coherence and connectivity. It has a clear structure, with well-defined paragraphs and logical transitions between ideas. The flow of the essay is generally smooth, though there could be slightly stronger connections between some points.
Word Structure: 4.5/6
The word structure in the essay is generally strong, with well-constructed sentences. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and sentence structure that could be improved for better clarity and readability.
Paragraph Structure and Formation: 5/6
The essay's paragraphs are well-structured, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. There is a clear topic sentence in each paragraph, followed by supporting details and analysis. However, some paragraphs could benefit from greater depth of analysis.
Language and Grammar: 5/6
The language and grammar are generally sound, with a few minor grammatical errors and awkward sentences that do not significantly impede comprehension. The essay maintains a formal tone appropriate for analytical writing.
Vocabulary and Word Expression: 4.5/6
The essay utilizes a good range of vocabulary and word expression to convey the author's ideas. However, there is room for improvement in using more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance the essay's overall quality.
Overall, the essay provides a well-structured analysis of the argument's flaws and assumptions. With some minor improvements in word structure, vocabulary, and depth of analysis in certain paragraphs, it could become an even stronger piece of analytical writing.
Coherence and Connectivity: 5/6
The essay demonstrates good coherence and connectivity. It has a clear structure, with well-defined paragraphs and logical transitions between ideas. The flow of the essay is generally smooth, though there could be slightly stronger connections between some points.
Word Structure: 4.5/6
The word structure in the essay is generally strong, with well-constructed sentences. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and sentence structure that could be improved for better clarity and readability.
Paragraph Structure and Formation: 5/6
The essay's paragraphs are well-structured, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. There is a clear topic sentence in each paragraph, followed by supporting details and analysis. However, some paragraphs could benefit from greater depth of analysis.
Language and Grammar: 5/6
The language and grammar are generally sound, with a few minor grammatical errors and awkward sentences that do not significantly impede comprehension. The essay maintains a formal tone appropriate for analytical writing.
Vocabulary and Word Expression: 4.5/6
The essay utilizes a good range of vocabulary and word expression to convey the author's ideas. However, there is room for improvement in using more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance the essay's overall quality.
Overall, the essay provides a well-structured analysis of the argument's flaws and assumptions. With some minor improvements in word structure, vocabulary, and depth of analysis in certain paragraphs, it could become an even stronger piece of analytical writing.
Avishi09
27 Sep 2023, 23:18
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Here is my answer
The author claims that job market will improve over the next ten years because demographic trends illustrate that the number of people going to college will increase. However, the argument is flawed in many ways.
Firstly, the author does not state a particular age group. Mean age for college may vary according to location. For example, in Asian countries the mean age for college may vary from south Asian or African country. So the students going to college may change and consequently lead to college enrollment. The premise would be strong if the author had mentioned demographic age group.
Secondly, the author explicitly mentions dramatic increase in employment which is logically flawed. Even if there is a increase in employment, there might not be dramatic increase . The author does not states enough evidence for dramatic increase in employment. The reasoning would be much stronger if the author provided statistics. For example, particular number of vacant job.
Lastly, the author states that increase in job is expected over next ten years. But, the graduates interested in teaching might change their field due to many factors. If there is a recession then those teacher may do any job for living instead searching for teaching jobs.
In conclusion, the author’s reasoning is flawed in above mentioned ways. And, it could be strengthened if the author clearly mentioned all the relevant facts.
The author claims that job market will improve over the next ten years because demographic trends illustrate that the number of people going to college will increase. However, the argument is flawed in many ways.
Firstly, the author does not state a particular age group. Mean age for college may vary according to location. For example, in Asian countries the mean age for college may vary from south Asian or African country. So the students going to college may change and consequently lead to college enrollment. The premise would be strong if the author had mentioned demographic age group.
Secondly, the author explicitly mentions dramatic increase in employment which is logically flawed. Even if there is a increase in employment, there might not be dramatic increase . The author does not states enough evidence for dramatic increase in employment. The reasoning would be much stronger if the author provided statistics. For example, particular number of vacant job.
Lastly, the author states that increase in job is expected over next ten years. But, the graduates interested in teaching might change their field due to many factors. If there is a recession then those teacher may do any job for living instead searching for teaching jobs.
In conclusion, the author’s reasoning is flawed in above mentioned ways. And, it could be strengthened if the author clearly mentioned all the relevant facts.
