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Seattle_76
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In Egypt in the paleolithic period, the climate changed, 10 Jan 2004, 19:21
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In Egypt in the paleolithic period, the climate changed, deserts became pastures, and the .



Is the sentence correct as it stands or is better with the alternative?

Thanks.



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dj
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In Egypt in the paleolithic period, the climate changed, 10 Jan 2004, 20:13
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Seattle_76
In Egypt in the paleolithic period, the climate changed, deserts became pastures, and the <inhabitants were forced to withdraw from their hunting grounds to the land bordering Nile>.

<inhabitants withdrew, because they were forced to, from their hunting grounds to the land bordering Nile>

Is the sentence correct as it stands or is better with the alternative?

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i think, the original version is the best. remember, we don't want to indicate that each of 'climate', 'deserts', inhabitants' is linked to "their hunting grounds to the land...". This should only refer to the 'inhabitants' who were forced to withdraw.
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In Egypt in the paleolithic period, the climate changed, 10 Jan 2004, 20:58
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Original is the best IMO.
The second sentence has too many modifiers. Also "they" can refer to inhabitants or the deserts.
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Seattle_76
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In Egypt in the paleolithic period, the climate changed, 11 Jan 2004, 18:09
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What about parallelism? If we go with the original, won't the parallelism be lost between the 3 phrases?

Since a modifier modifies the closest preceding noun (with the right case, etc.), won't "because they were forced to" apply to just inhabitants?

Or, to do so, should the alternative be "inhabitants, because they were forced to, withdrew from X to Y"?

Thanks guys.
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In Egypt in the paleolithic period, the climate changed, 11 Jan 2004, 18:26
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Original sentence is much clearer and more succint. The second sentence does use too many modifiers. Also, as you pointed out for the second sentence to be grammatically correct, the modifier should have been inserted right after 'inhabitants' because it is the word it wants to modify. Now, the given choice's because they were forced to is as if it intends to modify withdrew and it is thus wrong. Misplaced modifier it is.
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In Egypt in the paleolithic period, the climate changed, 21 Jun 2004, 08:52
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Paul
Original sentence is much clearer and more succint. The second sentence does use too many modifiers. Also, as you pointed out for the second sentence to be grammatically correct, the modifier should have been inserted right after 'inhabitants' because it is the word it wants to modify. Now, the given choice's because they were forced to is as if it intends to modify withdrew and it is thus wrong. Misplaced modifier it is.
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I do not think "because they were forced to" is a modifier. I believe that it is adverb because it demonstrate a purpose. It does not modify the "inhabitants". So the reasoning should be misplaced adverb rather than misplaced modifier.
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In Egypt in the paleolithic period, the climate changed, 21 Jun 2004, 09:50
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Paul
Original sentence is much clearer and more succint. The second sentence does use too many modifiers. Also, as you pointed out for the second sentence to be grammatically correct, the modifier should have been inserted right after 'inhabitants' because it is the word it wants to modify. Now, the given choice's because they were forced to is as if it intends to modify withdrew and it is thus wrong. Misplaced modifier it is.


I do not think "because they were forced to" is a modifier. I believe that it is adverb because it demonstrate a purpose. It does not modify the "inhabitants". So the reasoning should be misplaced adverb rather than misplaced modifier.
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Hmmm, misplaced adverb? Doesn't an adverb modify a verb? Hence is it not equivalent to a modifier?
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In Egypt in the paleolithic period, the climate changed, 21 Jun 2004, 11:06
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hi
''inhabitants withdrew because they were forced to '' BY WHOM ? U can say by the conditions at that time but tht is not specified and hence we do NOT have a NOUN or pronuon which refers to the ADVERB OR MODIFIER ...

hope that helps!

Have fun :)
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In Egypt in the paleolithic period, the climate changed, 21 Jun 2004, 15:43
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Original is correct imo.

I guess both the choice are syntactically correct but the style differs.No problem with parellelism.Just that original has better style.



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