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Welcome to GMAT Club!

AWA Score: 4 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 1.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

LuigiAguayo
Would you mind having a look at mine too please? Its my 2nd AWA attempt :D!


The argument presented by the Apogee Company, despite being in theory correct, lacks information that could strengthen the argument to make it consider. The idea that their decentralization was the cause of their reduced profit has an ocean of possible causes. Their proposal to go back to one central venue to operate has the following flaws:

Without a balance sheet or any other proof to compare profitability from years before opening more venues vs a single one is not provided, therefore it is not a valid argument to take, several questions would need to be answered in order to understand whats the biggest gap and if it correlates to the multiple venues, for example, what is the number of employees and related increased costs that the expansion incurred? Can the new venues sustain themselves or are they biting on other venues profits? How many more venues do they have and what are all the new costs?

The proposal to close down all of the filed venues has some serious implications that need to be considered, as there is no information about them, this is just an assumption of what needs to be done. This will require some answers for the following questions to better understand the ramifications, Are all the field staff expected to work from the central office now? Is there enough office space to hold the extra staff? If not, what infrastructure modifications are needed and how much would they cost? If there´s limit office capacity, what would happen to the extra staff? Will they be let go with economical compensations? Can the Apogee Company really aford this now?

The third key flaw in the argument is the idea that the single operating point will help cutting costs, there are no supporting argument that show what exactly where are the costs they are trying to cut down, is it by using lower quality materials? Having less staff? Paying less rent? Lowering salaries?, more clarification is needed on what exactly are the costs that will be impacted.

The last flaw refers to increased supervision as something that will impact profitability, without any supporting studies that the actual profit decline is somehow correlated to the way the staff do their work this statement is just an assumption. An evaluation of staff appraisals per venue compared to profitability would be needed to understand this better and if there are any other factors like where the venue is located, the economical capacity of the area and current economy.

While on the surface this argument might sounds like a good solution to increase profitability, without the answers to the questions mentioned above, the argument lacks solid proof to consider it true.
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Hey here, please could you also look at mine as per the below? this is my first AWA:

Essay---

In a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company, the author states that the Apogee Company had more profits when the activity were done from one location compared to today where it has multiple locations. The author suggests that if Apogee Company operates from one single location as it did before the company’s spending will be reduced and employees supervision will be better. The success of this recommendation is doubtful considering the logical flaws and faulty assumptions on which it is based.


The evidence presented involves vague language. For example, the argument mentions that the Apogee company use to be “more profitable” when it was operating from one location. Simply by making the claim that Apogee company was “more profitable” before than today, the author has failed to illustrate whether the improvement is compelling enough to justify a closure of Apogee’s field offices and operation from a single local. The word “more” might mean that running business from one location has 50% more profitable compared to running the business from several different locations, however, nothing from the passage suggests that this is the case. Alternatively, “more” might also denote 1% more profitable between performing activities from a single point and performing activities from different locations, which will not justify closing other locals to operate from one source point.

Having presented such doubtful evidence, the author concluded Apogee Company should maintain only one operating point and further demonstrate this by affirming centralizing activities will help in expenditure reduction and better management of personnel. This might not always be true, considering the profitability of a company does not only depend on cost but also on revenue and all these aspects need to be looked at prior to draw any conclusion. The opening of different locals for a company usually depends on diverse factors such as how big the current market is and the proximity with customers just to mention these; one might then ask the question how will the closure of all other point also affect the company’s revenue and customer services? Moreover, centralization might significantly increase some costs buckets such as transportation spending, bumping up the cost overall compared to operating from different areas. If we had data illustrating not only current cost vs potential cost with centralization, but also revenue impact from centralization, these would help us evaluate this argument better.


Overall, this argument is neither sound nor persuasive. The business department has failed to convey any compelling reasons for Apogee Company to close all its field offices and operate only from one location.
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AWA Score: 5 out of 6

I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

Albertine1992
Hey here, please could you also look at mine as per the below? this is my first AWA:

Essay---

In a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company, the author states that the Apogee Company had more profits when the activity were done from one location compared to today where it has multiple locations. The author suggests that if Apogee Company operates from one single location as it did before the company’s spending will be reduced and employees supervision will be better. The success of this recommendation is doubtful considering the logical flaws and faulty assumptions on which it is based.

The evidence presented involves vague language. For example, the argument mentions that the Apogee company use to be “more profitable” when it was operating from one location. Simply by making the claim that Apogee company was “more profitable” before than today, the author has failed to illustrate whether the improvement is compelling enough to justify a closure of Apogee’s field offices and operation from a single local. The word “more” might mean that running business from one location has 50% more profitable compared to running the business from several different locations, however, nothing from the passage suggests that this is the case. Alternatively, “more” might also denote 1% more profitable between performing activities from a single point and performing activities from different locations, which will not justify closing other locals to operate from one source point.

Having presented such doubtful evidence, the author concluded Apogee Company should maintain only one operating point and further demonstrate this by affirming centralizing activities will help in expenditure reduction and better management of personnel. This might not always be true, considering the profitability of a company does not only depend on cost but also on revenue and all these aspects need to be looked at prior to draw any conclusion. The opening of different locals for a company usually depends on diverse factors such as how big the current market is and the proximity with customers just to mention these; one might then ask the question how will the closure of all other point also affect the company’s revenue and customer services? Moreover, centralization might significantly increase some costs buckets such as transportation spending, bumping up the cost overall compared to operating from different areas. If we had data illustrating not only current cost vs potential cost with centralization, but also revenue impact from centralization, these would help us evaluate this argument better.

Overall, this argument is neither sound nor persuasive. The business department has failed to convey any compelling reasons for Apogee Company to close all its field offices and operate only from one location.
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Hey there,
Could you also please have a look at my version of the essay.

Essay---
The report talks about a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company. It states that the company its profits have dropped, and it assumes this is because of the expansion of the company. It suggests that the company should close down all field offices and conduct all of its operations from a single office to regain the same margin profits it was achieving before. The argument relies on the use of vague language, not explaining the cause and effect, and uses these to jump to bold conclusions.

The argument asserts that the company was more profitable when all of its operations were in one location. Stating that the company was “more” profitable is unfortunately vague language. “More” can imply several things. It could suggest that the company was 1% percent more profitable or it could mean the company was 200 % more profitable. There is no evidence provided what “more” is. Being more specific about how much more profits the company was making would help to make a more convincing case.

After this, a sweeping conclusion is made, that by closing down field offices the company would cut down costs. There is again an unfortunate lack of information to this claim. There is no specific reasoning for what this would accomplish. The centralization does not necceraily imply that the costs would be cut. Evidence of how centralizing the company in one location would cut costs would help the reasoning for the relocation.

Additionally, stating that cutting costs will bring more profits is another bold assumption that does not contain any solid footing. When the aircraft manufacturer Boeing merged with Michael Douglass, the company shifted its focus from quality and safety to cutting costs and being more profitable. Which over time resulted in several airplane crashes and the company losing a huge part of its reputation. If the company would remove its field offices to cut costs, but lose the strategic advantages those field offices might have, the company would lose profits instead of creating more profits. Simply cutting costs to make more profits can lead to an undesirable effect. If the author would provide a long-term strategy on how to be more cost-effective rather than just cut costs would enormously strengthen the argument.

In summary, the far-reaching statements are made without any substantiating evidence. In order to assess the merits of the recommendation more information is required, rather than jumping to conclusions. Without this information, the argument is unsubstantiated and open to debate.
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AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6

I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 3.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

GreyRift
Hey there,
Could you also please have a look at my version of the essay.

Essay---
The report talks about a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company. It states that the company its profits have dropped, and it assumes this is because of the expansion of the company. It suggests that the company should close down all field offices and conduct all of its operations from a single office to regain the same margin profits it was achieving before. The argument relies on the use of vague language, not explaining the cause and effect, and uses these to jump to bold conclusions.

The argument asserts that the company was more profitable when all of its operations were in one location. Stating that the company was “more” profitable is unfortunately vague language. “More” can imply several things. It could suggest that the company was 1% percent more profitable or it could mean the company was 200 % more profitable. There is no evidence provided what “more” is. Being more specific about how much more profits the company was making would help to make a more convincing case.

After this, a sweeping conclusion is made, that by closing down field offices the company would cut down costs. There is again an unfortunate lack of information to this claim. There is no specific reasoning for what this would accomplish. The centralization does not necceraily imply that the costs would be cut. Evidence of how centralizing the company in one location would cut costs would help the reasoning for the relocation.

Additionally, stating that cutting costs will bring more profits is another bold assumption that does not contain any solid footing. When the aircraft manufacturer Boeing merged with Michael Douglass, the company shifted its focus from quality and safety to cutting costs and being more profitable. Which over time resulted in several airplane crashes and the company losing a huge part of its reputation. If the company would remove its field offices to cut costs, but lose the strategic advantages those field offices might have, the company would lose profits instead of creating more profits. Simply cutting costs to make more profits can lead to an undesirable effect. If the author would provide a long-term strategy on how to be more cost-effective rather than just cut costs would enormously strengthen the argument.

In summary, the far-reaching statements are made without any substantiating evidence. In order to assess the merits of the recommendation more information is required, rather than jumping to conclusions. Without this information, the argument is unsubstantiated and open to debate.
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It's my first time practicing. Could you please help evaluate mine?
Thanks in advance! :)



In this argument, the memorandum presents the conclusion that the Apogee Company should close down its field offices in order to improve its profitability. The basis for this recommendation is that the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, and it was more profitable than it is today. At the first glance, this conclusion appears to be somewhat convincing, but further scrutiny reveals that it omits some important concerns that should be addressed to substantiate itself.

Most conspicuously, the argument unfairly assumes that the profitability of the Apogee Company in the past was sorely determined by the fact that the company had all its operations in one location. While having all operations in one location might be a factor in determine the overall profitability, there are many other factors also contributing to it. What if the company was profitable because there were no competitors, or because the products of the company were very popular? Without providing sufficient evidence to rule out all the other factors, this assumption is unwarranted.

Moreover, what happened in the past does not necessarily mean that it will happen again in the future, since things rarely remain the same over a long period of time. Even though Apogee Company was profitable in the past was surely due to its centralized operations, it does not guarantee that the company will still be profitable if it re-centralize its operations to one location. Many factors that determine the profitability of the company might have changed and therefore make the company not profitable, no matter whether it has its operations in one or more locations. Hence, the argument would have been more convincing if it had illustrated why the example from the past is applicable to the present and future situations.

Finally, the argument falsely depends on the gratuitous assumption that closing down the company's field offices will lead to cost reduction. However, no evidence is stated in the argument to support this assumption. In fact, closing down all field offices might result in less efficient customer support from the company, more expensive business travel for employees and higher operating cost in the end. Without explaining why closing down field offices means a cost reduction for the company, this assumption is entirely unfounded.

To sum up, the conclusion that the Apogee Company should close down its field offices in order to improve its profitably is seriously undermined by the numerous flaws in the reasonings identified above. If the argument had taken these reasonings into account, it would have been much more thorough and convincing.
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AWA Score: 5.5 - 6 out of 6

I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

bojunk
It's my first time practicing. Could you please help evaluate mine?
Thanks in advance! :)



In this argument, the memorandum presents the conclusion that the Apogee Company should close down its field offices in order to improve its profitability. The basis for this recommendation is that the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, and it was more profitable than it is today. At the first glance, this conclusion appears to be somewhat convincing, but further scrutiny reveals that it omits some important concerns that should be addressed to substantiate itself.

Most conspicuously, the argument unfairly assumes that the profitability of the Apogee Company in the past was sorely determined by the fact that the company had all its operations in one location. While having all operations in one location might be a factor in determine the overall profitability, there are many other factors also contributing to it. What if the company was profitable because there were no competitors, or because the products of the company were very popular? Without providing sufficient evidence to rule out all the other factors, this assumption is unwarranted.

Moreover, what happened in the past does not necessarily mean that it will happen again in the future, since things rarely remain the same over a long period of time. Even though Apogee Company was profitable in the past was surely due to its centralized operations, it does not guarantee that the company will still be profitable if it re-centralize its operations to one location. Many factors that determine the profitability of the company might have changed and therefore make the company not profitable, no matter whether it has its operations in one or more locations. Hence, the argument would have been more convincing if it had illustrated why the example from the past is applicable to the present and future situations.

Finally, the argument falsely depends on the gratuitous assumption that closing down the company's field offices will lead to cost reduction. However, no evidence is stated in the argument to support this assumption. In fact, closing down all field offices might result in less efficient customer support from the company, more expensive business travel for employees and higher operating cost in the end. Without explaining why closing down field offices means a cost reduction for the company, this assumption is entirely unfounded.

To sum up, the conclusion that the Apogee Company should close down its field offices in order to improve its profitably is seriously undermined by the numerous flaws in the reasonings identified above. If the argument had taken these reasonings into account, it would have been much more thorough and convincing.
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