Hello ShrutiSrinivasan
Welcome to GMAT Club!
AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6!
I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Follow AWA forum rules before you post anything in the same forum, read the rules in the post in the link below
https://gmatclub.com/forum/awa-forum-ru ... 64141.htmlGood LuckShrutiSrinivasan wrote:
Here is the argument
“When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitable than it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location. Such centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees.”
The argument that the Apogee Company would be more profitable today, omits some important concerns that must be addressed to substantiate it. The statement concludes with a proposal of centralization to improve profitability of the company. This alone does not constitute a logical conclusion and it certainly does not provide any support or proof to the main argument. Hence the argument has several flaws and is debatable.
First, the argument assumes that the cause of the company’s unprofitability is its operations from multiple locations. This assumption comes with no evidence like the teams involved in the locations or the operations carried out in the various locations. It simply states that the unprofitability is directly related to the multiple locations, which is insufficient.
Second, the argument would be much more clearer if it provided more insight on what kind of operations the Apogee Company dealt with. In fact, it is not clear at all what the company was doing a few years ago and what it was doing today. For example, if Apogee was dealing with software solutions for different enterprises, we could assume that it was because of opening unnecessary branches in different locations, that the company was losing revenue to.
Finally, the argument proposes centralization for improving profitability and to maintain better supervision of all employees. Again, there is no evidence stating that it was because of lack of supervision of the employees, that the company was losing its profits. It could very well be, because of extreme supervision that restricted the employees’ growth in the organization that ultimately led to the company’s downfall.
Since the argument conspicuously lacks key factors, it is not sound or persuasive. If it included the items discussed above, the argument would have been more thorough and certain.