AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 5/6
The essay is well-organized and coherent. Each paragraph is focused on a single point and transitions smoothly to the next. The arguments are logically presented, and the essay flows naturally from beginning to end.
Anatomy: 5.5/6
The essay follows a typical analytical essay structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting evidence. The essay ends with a summary of the arguments presented.
Paragraph structure and formation: 5.5/6
Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the thesis. The body of each paragraph provides evidence to support the topic sentence. The paragraphs are well-structured, with clear transitions between ideas.
Language and Grammar: 6/6
The language used in the essay is clear, concise, and grammatically correct. The sentences are well-constructed, and the vocabulary is appropriate for the task. The essay is easy to read and understand.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5.5/6
The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and word expressions that are appropriate for the task. The language used is precise and effective in conveying the author's arguments. There are a few minor errors in word choice, but they do not detract from the overall quality of the essay.
Overall, the essay is well-written and effectively analyzes the argument presented in the prompt. The author provides strong evidence to support their claims and offers alternative explanations to weaken the argument. The essay could be further improved by providing more specific examples and evidence to strengthen the arguments.
fdfd97 wrote:
The following appeared in a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company:
“When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitable than it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location. Such centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees.”
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
Ans:
The Apogee Company’s business department has claimed in a memorandum that the organization should shut down its field offices so as to reduce overall costs, and improve profits. This argument is based on the sound management principle of cutting costs through business centralisation. However, it fails to make a convincing stand because of a number of reasons.
Firstly, the argument provides no information regarding the time period of comparison. It states that at some point of time, when all operations of the Apogee Company were at a single location, the company was more profitable than it is currently. We have no way to ascertain how long back was the condition as stated. The claim assumes that the economic conditions and other variable factors have remained the same across the years. However, since no information is provided regarding this, we cannot determine with certainity whether centralised operations in the present would help the business reap greater profits. It may well be that costs have increased or competition has grown. In any case, the argument discounts any such changes that may have occurred over time.
Secondly, the argument assumes that business operations will continue in the usual and regular fashion if the company shuts down its field offices. However, many employees may choose to leave due to geographical limiations, rent and utility costs may increase depending on the location. Additionally, the firm will need to establish new network and supply chain channels at the central location in order to manage the business at a larger scale from a single location.
Finally, it is possible that the firm would find it difficult to conduct business across a vast geographical area from a single location. It can be more inconvenient and expensive for the business to send its agents to off shore locations in order to meet various stakeholders, such as clients, suppliers etc., regularly.
In summary, the claim given by the Apogee Company is flawed for a number of reasons, as discussed above. However, it can be strengthened by providing additional relevant information that can help us in making a more comprehensive decision.