AWA
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21 Aug 2019, 05:38
could someone review my AWA essay?
In this paragraph the narrator does not provide any details on how the cost is going to be reduced or how it will efficiently handled. It only provide insight into past times where something led to the cost reduction.
Firstly, just because something happened in the past doesn’t necessarily mean that the same thing is going to repeat. We have to take into consider various aspects of the problem to say that the past is going to repeat, which the paragraph fails to provide. Furthermore the passage gives an example of 50 dollars for five days being reduced to 20 dollars per day, which is wrong because it is not a reduction as 50 dollars for five days means 10 dollars for one day which is 10 dollars less that the 20 dollars. Secondly, in the paragraph the narrator gave the example with 3-by-5-inch print comparing with the cost processing food, which is not clear because both are different entities and won’t have same outcomes. Thirdly, in the paragraph it says that it will soon celebrate 25th birthday and it will provide long experience to minimize cost and maximize profit. But in here the mistake is that one does not have to celebrate the 25th birthday to enable the long experience to use, one just have to use it, which the paragraph is unclear. Lastly the paragraph in the beginning states that the cost will go down “over time”, this is ambiguous as it is not clear how much time is over time and it is also clear that the company has already surpassed 24 years and it is also not clear whether the company be able to hold onto the business for long without much profit until the company learns to do things better.
Overall the paragraph is very sloppy on mentioning why the company is less efficient and does not provide and reliable proper comparison. It would be better if the paragraph specifies why or the where company is lacking cost efficiency.