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Re: During a recent trial period during which Federal Drug Authority[FDA] [#permalink]
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Expert Reply
Using the unofficial AWA grader GMATAWA, here is what I have:


AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6!
I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.


Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of idea and expression from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analysed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs is evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.


Vocabulary and word expression: 5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocaubulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word-usage. Simple is the best form of suave!



:fingers_crossed: Please do not forget to use the Chineseburnt AWA Template!
https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6 ... 64327.html



pkbiet wrote:
Can some rate my essay:

Discuss................

"During a recent trial period during which Federal Drug Authority[FDA] inspections at selected pharma prod unit were more than frequent, the number of medical consignments rejected on quality issues before they were shipped decreased by 60% on average from the previous year levels. If the FDA were to institute more frequent inspections the consumers of life saving drugs will be safe from side effects due to consumption of low quality drugs because most pharma prod units have shown improvements in delivering better quality drugs than those not inspected frequently."
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The argument claims that imposing frequent inspections of FDA over pharmaceutical production companies tends them to follow guidelines strictly and follow quality norms. Stated in such a way the argument in inconclusive of the data supporting the hypothesis, tends to manipulate facts to present a distorted view of reality and is a leap of faith reasoning without clear outcomes.In sum, the argument could have been presented in an improvised way with more relevant and supporting fact sheet on which the assumption depends.

Firstly the argument states that crackdown on pharmaceutical production company relating to quality issues helped to increase quality level of the registered drugs upto 60%. The data is clearly ambiguous as it is able to mention the baseline of what data helped FDA to calculate that quality level increased to the certain percentage. also the author fails to cite any previous reports or data of the FDA over the inspections made. Example would be expenses under the testing and consultancy sections or report cards generated by doctors over schedule drugs.

Secondly the argument claims that further alertness of such visits would have helped the pharmaceutical production company to lower the side effects of life saving drugs which would be impossible to attain. This data is again unreliable as it fails to address the ethical behavioural pattern of the pharmaceutical organisation. However the author also addresses that those drugs when compared of inspection over un inspected were found to be of better quality, but it again fails to address and 3rd party inspection report or the production quality department report, which is a vague thought to satisfy the author’s claim

Finally the argument should answer to questions such as: Why are the reports not taken under consideration if any? What will be financial and environmental implications? How will the FDA support increase the quality of the life saving drugs? Without convincing answers to these questions, one is left with impressions that the claim is more of a wishful thought than a well reasoned inference drawn out of logical thinking.

In conclusion the argument is flawed for above mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. It would be much stronger if the author would have explicitly stated the cause and effect analysis with relevant facts and figures. In order to access the merits of the decision, it would be essential to have full knowledge of the contributing factors, without which the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
GMAT Club Bot
Re: During a recent trial period during which Federal Drug Authority[FDA] [#permalink]
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